FUNNIEST movie gun moments

[Dingoes Ate My Baby]

Scene in "Support Your Local Sheriff" with James Garner and Walter Brennan, when Brennan comes into the Sheriff's office, sticks his 45 in James Garner's face is the funniest. When James Garner calmly sticks his finger into the .45 and Walter Brennan says "get your finger out of my gun. It will blow up if I shoot you".

To which James Garner replies, "Well it wouldn't do my finger a helluva lot of good, either!".

Also, in "Assassins" with Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas, Stallone's gun of choice is a Ruger .22 semi-auto. Any time the Ruger gets pointed at someone, you hear the sound of a hammer being cocked back.

Trouble is (as y'all well know), the Ruger semi-auto .22 has no external hammer to cock. Cracks me up every time!

 

[rayra]

many of my favs already covered.

The bodyguard strikes a post and yells Hi-Ya! Upon which the out-of-breath Sgt simply says Hi-Ya yer a$$, pulls out a 4" Colt Python and sends him to meet his ancestors.

o-ho! that sort of pulls the flying carpet out from under Harrison Ford's 'I improvised the market scene'.


Only other scene that comes to mind is the elevator fight / shooting in Die Hard 3.

 

[Shazbat]

Yet another one from Naked Gun/Police Squad:

The forensics guy is sharing with Frank Drebin the results from pistol round penetration tests, using videocassettes.

 

[keyhole]

In "The Whole 9 Yards", where one hit man says, " There ain't nothing finer than a naked lady with a gun, ,,,,,,,and you're all kinds of fine".

At least I think I got it right

 

[SMLE]

Somebody mentioned Tackleberry and that reminded me of one hilarious scene in Police Academy 2 IIRC. Tack has meet the girl of his dreams (the Lady motor cop) they are making out and all the ordnance dropping to the floor as they disrobe is a hoot. Then the scene cuts to the outside of the door and you hear her voice, deep and breathy;

"Ooh Tack, ooh Tack... BANG! OOHH TACK!"

I bout wet my pants the first time I saw that one.

 

[BHPshooter]

Has anybody seen "Lightning Jack" starring Paul Hogan? Hilarious movie.

Lightning Jack finds this sidekick who is mute (Cuba Gooding Jr.) and can't hit crap with a six-shooter. So Lightning Jack goes over to a chest and pulls out another rig -- it's a double barreled shotgun that has been cut down to handgun size.

They go back over to the range to try it out. He tells him to shoot at the target that's closer, and it explodes. He tells him to shoot at the farther one, and it just gets a couple of dents from bbs.

Lightning Jack: "That piece, at ten paces, will blow a man clean out of his boots... But at twenty-five paces, he'll just be real pissed off."

VERY funny movie.

Wes

 

[Ktulu]

Sounds a lot like El Dorado with John Wayne.

Scary Movie 3:

In a spoof of "8 Mile" white country kid leave farm to enter inner city rap battle. The MC says the crowd should refrain from shooting in the air until the very end. Everyone takes out there "gats" and the MC shows them where the safely is and how to engage it. One guy’s gun goes off and they drag him out kicking and screaming.

 

[MaterDei]

No words needed.

 

[hilljack22]

2 of my favs...

From "I'm gonna Get you sucka", one of the characters puts pistol after pistol in his belt, shoulder holsters and pockets, puts a trench coat on and starts to walk out. But he trips over something and all the guns go off while he's laying on the ground twitching....


The other is from " The Fifth Element"...

"We're sending someone in to negotiate!"
(Bruce Willis walks around corner and shoots alien in head)
"Anyone else wanna negotiate?"

HA!

 

[MaterDei]

Not exactly guns but...

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage]
Man in Black: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage]

 

[Ron_Miami]

My favorite is a scene in the movie Under the Rainbow with Chevy Chase and Carrie Fisher.

They are in a train that enters a turn in a dark tunnel and are thrown against each other.

Fisher: "Is that your gun?"
Chase: "No, I wear a shoulder holster..."

 

[Sindawe]

Not exactly a movie...

...and not really a gun, but still rather funny. From Farscape, season 4. Episode 'What was found'. Main character John Chrighton has run into the bad guys in a corridor unexpected, in a stand off. Lead bad guy is named Braka.

Paraphrasing-

John: So, Braka. Let me ask you..

John turns sorta sideways and starts rubbing his gluts

John:..as a guy, do you think these pants make my a** look big?

Shocks the bad guys long enough for John to pull out his sidearm and start shooting some of the bad guys. Then the pistol runs out of ammo.

 

[treeprof]

Armed and Dangerous w/John Candy:

"I ain't never seen a handgun that big before!"

JC: "It's a .50 caliber. They used to use them to shoot buffalo, up close. It's only legal in two states, and this isn't one of them."

 

[Beetle Bailey]

In Pulp Fiction , when Jules and Vince are in the apartment with the "Flock of Seagulls" guys they were sent to kill. They don't know there's still one guy left (who was in the bathroom when they entered). That guy finally works up the courage to come out, and as he is screaming, unloads his big revolver (dunno what kind) at point-blank range at the unsuspecting hitmen. All he manages to do is make holes in the wall behind them and they calmly raise their pistols and finish him off.

Oh, and that Desert Eagle one in Snatch is a classic.

 

[pignock]

Two from The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean:

When the pistolero comes into the saloon bragging about what a badass he is with an itchy trigger finger and shooting holes in the ceiling. The deputies playing poker leave him alone until he shoots the poster of Miss Lilly Langtree, then they all draw down on him and blast away.

The albino outlaw comes into town for a shootout with JRB (paul newman) and JRB shoots him from the barn hayloft.



Keith


edited to add:

WOOHOOOO!!!! Senior member (on the day TFL comes back on line )

 

[.45TCB]

Tombstone . . . the whole scene between Kurt Russell and Billy Bob Thornton that ends with the classic line:

"Are you gonna do somethin' or just stand there and bleed?"

 

[Ben Shepherd]

Burt Gummer: "I am completey and totally out of ammo!!!! This has never happened before!!" Tremors II, IIRC.

 

[pack_rat]

Pics, eh?

"Jack! You shot my gun!
What kind of a person shoots a man's gun?!"

Bonus [round]: ID the hardware.
===
p_r

 

[daver]

"He hates these cans!! Stay away from the cans!!!"

Steve Martin in "The Jerk", while being shot at by sniper.

 

[daver]

pack_rat:

The hardware Robin Williams and Jerry Reed had in the woods? IIRC, Robin Williams had a Valmet M76 and a 1911 type handgun (that used short and fat bullets) and Jerry Reed had a Browning Hi-Power.

 

[2nd Amendment]

Second Hand Lions was mentioned elsewhere but I didn't see this: Where the boy is in the cornfield with the recently freed lioness. Out of the house come Duvall, Caine, the car full of punks Duvall just beat up, the nosy relatives AND their kids, the youngest with one rifle between them to hold it up. I was amazed it made it INTO a movie in this day and age. Laughed myself silly, as did the wife.

So anyone know Duvall's politics? I think I can probably guess Caine's. Still a damn good flick.

 

[Detritus]

Tombstone . . . the whole scene between Kurt Russell and Billy Bob Thornton that ends with the classic line:

"Are you gonna do somethin' or just stand there and bleed?"

i think the quote you're after is "well you gonna skin that smokewagon, or just stand there and bleed?"

 

[buy guns]

The other is from " The Fifth Element"...

"We're sending someone in to negotiate!"
(Bruce Willis walks around corner and shoots alien in head)
"Anyone else wanna negotiate?"

haha i love that movie. another funny part from it is in the beginning when bruce willis opens the door to his apart to find some guy pointing a gun in his face. willis says something like "see that blinking red light there? that means your safety is on" then disarms the guy and tosses the gun in a drawer.

 

[palehorse]

Analyze This:

Dr. Ben Sobel: “You know what I do when I'm angry? I hit a pillow.
{Vitti pulls out a gun and shoots a pillow} Feel better?â€
Boss Paul Vitti: “Yeah, I do.â€

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

John McClane: “That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me. You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It dosen't show up on you airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make here in a month.â€

â€BWAHAHAHAHAâ€

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

One of the two troop carriers is paralleling the tank and like pirates boarding a galleon, Nazi Soldiers leap over the treads and are swarming all over INDY.

INDY is struggling with a German's Luger.

INDY presses the luger against his assailant and forces the Nazi to squeeze off a shot into himself. The bullet not only passes through the Nazi, but passes through two other Nazis standing directly behind him on the crowded tank top and three bodies fall away, leaving Indy to stare at the gun in disbelief.

Maverick

Maverick: “I've only got one gun, that's 6 bullets. They're six, that's 36 bullets. Maybe they've got two guns, that's 72 bullets, and maybe they've got rifles...â€

The Rock

Female Captive Hostage: “Oh you're not allowed to carry a gun? I got a {omit}damned gun! If I'd'a known this was gonna happen, I'd'a brought my {omit}in' gun! Help!â€

Anything from The Quick and the Dead

Vacation

Ellen Griswold: “We're not really violent people. This is our first gun.
Rusty Griswold: “Is that a real gun, Mom?â€
Lasky: That's not a real gun, is it Clark? Its a BB gun. You couldn't even break the skin with tht thing.â€

 

[45King]

I once saw a comedy western, and can't remember the name of it or any of the stars except Marjoe Gortner, and one scene. In order to see how funny this is, you need to know that Marjoe grew up as the son of two very fundamentalist Christian traveling evangelists, and as soon as he turned 18, he left home because his parents only used him as an attraction to their show. In every role I've ever seen him in, he always plays a bad guy, the part fartherest from what his real life was.

In this movie, he's a gunslinger, and he and the town's preacher end up having a showdown. They both draw and fire, but no one falls.
Marjoe: "Are you hit?"
Preacher: "No. Are you?"
Marjoe: "No. (pause) I think the good Lord's trying to tell us something." He then mounts his horse and rides off.