Funny Questions from NOOBs

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Dr T

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When you have been shooting for over 50 years, a lot of things seem obvious that are not so obvious to the guy (or girl) that is in their early 20's and just discovering how much fun shooting is.

There have been a couple that I have had to keep a straight face while answering so that I did not upset the questioner.

I was recently in a Walmart to pick up some cartridges. While waiting for the clerk to arrive, I noticed a young (early 20's), well groomed guy looking at handgun cartridges. I asked him if there was something wrong and he said, "I just bought a new 9mm pistol and I can't find any cartriges for it."

Thinking that he might have picked up a 9x18 Mak (which is not carried at the local Wallyworld), I asked him how it was marked on the barrel. He said "9 x 19 mm Parabellum". I explained that this was the same as 9 mm Luger, and he became a lot happier. He then asked about the 9 mm Kurz that he had read about. I explained that this was the same as the 380 Auto and directed him to "Cartridges of the World."

I have a nephew-in-law, a Naval Reserve Chaplin that was attached for a while to a reserve group of Marine Snake Eaters (He came back in one piece from his all expense paid trip to Afghanistan, thank goodness). We were getting ready to take him hunting on the ranch, and we started to talk about siting in. He asked, "How should I adjust my scope if the deer is at 275 yards?" (he had been shooting with one of the team's snipers a week before). I explained that if you are hunting deer, you sight in the rifle to keep the bullet inside a tube stretching from the muzzle to the deer and if it was sighted in 3 inches high at 100 yards, he wouldn't have to worry about it. (But it was real hard not to laugh while I was explaining this.)
 
I was Captain of the collegiate Rifle Team at PSU for a while. Our range was in the basement of the building next to my dorm, directly accross the halway from the fencing ... uh...range? studio? court? Whatever.

One Tuesday night a pal and I were standing around in our 3-position smallbore competition gear after practice and we fell into a conversation with one of the fencing gals from across the hall. She could not be convinced that our royal blue nylon 3-pos jackets weren't bullet-proof.

Here's one, from Champion's Choice:
CC101.jpg


As she finally wondered back to her side of the hallway my pal said..."You know, I think she thinks we shoot at the other team!" :uh oh: :D
 
I don't really see anything funny in the first two examples posted by the original poster...they seem like reasonable questions to me.
 
I had an angry customer about a year ago because the AR we built for him wouldn't fire and the cartridge was stuck in the chamber.

He was happy once we explained to him that he wouldn't need to pay the expensive price he paid for that .223 WSSM ammo anymore since the rifle we built him will fire 5.56/.223. ;)


The 40mm thing you mentioned above bit me in the butt once also when I had an employee that is there more for admin and back shop "chores" (and was very new to guns at the time) make a list of all the used guns we had with make, model, and caliber to post on a few online forums and classifieds.

I was busy with 10 other things, and quickly glanced at the list before I had him post it on 6 forums and send it out to our 6K person e-mail list. I didn't notice until I started getting a lot of posts about the huge number of 40mm handguns we had in stock! :cuss:
 
sad story

Family member of mine was in the service, Somallia, in the army. it was either during his time in or just after we were talking guns and eventually about military weapons & calibers. he said his favorite to shoot was the .60 caliber M-60 MG. i told him that those were not .60 but that M-60 was just the Military designation for the weapon. he couldnt beleive it until i took out a book i had about it.

Why wouldnt the military be training regular soldiers EXACTLY what caliber their weapons shoot??? this would be important if you ever had to scrounge ammo in emergency situations, knowing which weapons shoot the same ammo.
 
been asked for 22mm

been asked if the judge comes in 12 ga

been asked if s&w makes a j frame in 45 auto

been asked if the mini-14 comes in .308. "yeah, its called the M14"

been told that berettas were made in spain. i had him read the slide on a 92fs

been asked if we had scope mounts for a colt python

been asked if the browning hi power comes in 45

been asked many times for 7.62 and they had no clue about the rest of the caliber name of their gun

been asked if you can put an eotech on a glock 21 (he was pointing to the eotech 552 model)

been asked many times for steel shot 410 shells

had a middle eastern man ask a fellow coworker if we had a night vision binochs for bird watching. asked for his ID so we could make a phone call. he quickly left the store

been asked if we could run a nics check on the guy since he had just gotten out of jail

a guy had me a mount a leupold vx III 6-18x by 50mm w/ 30mm tube on a... marlin .45 colt lever gun

some teenagers asked if they could carry an airsoft pistol in their carry on luggage on a plane

a guy wanted the store to buy his XD40 off of him for 500 bucks. we sold them new for 525

had a guy order a holster for a browning hi power figuring it would fit his fnp40 since fnh owns browning

had a guy melt his paddle holster in the oven because he didnt like the forward body incline cant and wanted to make it a straight draw paddle

been asked for a thermal imaging device like in predator for tracking deer
 
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been asked if the browning hi power comes in 45
*did you sell him a 1911?

been asked if you can put an eotech on a glock 21 (he was pointing to the eotech 552 model)
*His gun, his money, his choice.

been asked many times for steel shot 410 shells
*Easy mistake. Steel shot is in 12 and 20 gauges, one could easily assume it would come in .410


had a middle eastern man ask a fellow coworker if we had a night vision binochs for bird watching. asked for his ID so we could make a phone call. he quickly left the store
*maybe he was irritated because he knew he was being racially profiled.

been asked if we could run a nics check on the guy since he had just gotten out of jail
*Not everyone who goes to jail is a prohibited person.

a guy had me a mount a leupold vx III 6-18x by 50mm w/ 30mm tube on a... marlin .45 colt lever gun
*His gun, his money, his choice.

some teenagers asked if they could carry an airsoft pistol in their carry on luggage on a plane
* not a dumb question, just an uninformed one, with a simple answer. No.
 
I like a good laugh as much as anyone else, however, I'd rather someone ask a question than potentially put themselves (and possibly others) at risk trying to teach themselves.
 
been asked if the mini-14 comes in .308. "yeah, its called the M14"

There was one in the works back in the 80s, but it never made it to market, it was known as the XGI, only a few were made.
 
So far I haven't seen anything funny about these examples. In fact I think it's very condescending to call people that may be less experienced "Noobs"
 
^^ Yup, I agree with the gist of it.

While I think some of the "noob" stuff is funny, everybody has to start somewhere, and everybody has more to learn. None of us know it all.

What is funnier, IMO, are the guys that have all the answers - but usually incorrect.
 
Surely is isn't fair or nice, nor really all that funny, to ridicule someone for not having knowledge of a fact. But some of the mental pictures presented by innocent "noob" questions are honestly funny enough to bring a chuckle.

A gun shop with a big surplus of 40 MM handguns, for example, or the intense irony of the poor fellow who thought he couldn't find ammo for his 9mm, or the mental image of two college rifle teams soberly lining up to shoot at each other.

As long as we're patient and polite and take the time to explain the confusion, I think most of the folks who've brought the smiles to our faces could get a little laugh out of it themselves.

It doesn't do us a whole lot of good to pretend life isn't funny like this sometimes.
 
As long as we're patient and polite and take the time to explain the confusion, I think most of the folks who've brought the smiles to our faces could get a little laugh out of it themselves.

I agree, sorry if I was misleading. That said, the "point and laugh at the stupid new guy" stuff isn't doing anyone any favors.
 
I took the husband and son of a co-worker to the range for their first shooting trip. I took lots of different guns. Predictably, the father (a huge fan of westerns) liked my lever gun best, and the son (13 years-old) loved my AR. They were both great, they really zoned in on the safety issues, and they shot well for their first outing. Lots of big smiles ensued. Anyway, the funny question came when they got home and were talking to my co-worker. The father was waxing enthusiastic about the lever gun. The exasperated son turned to his dad and said, "Dad, do you only like the guns that have wood on them?" I think he may have been exasperated because they are thinking of buying their first gun and the son is afraid it will be a Marlin 30-30 when he wants an AR. I thought it was amusing because it really points out that generational gap.
 
A good friend of mine who is pretty seasoned constantly asks me about everything I buy "but is it good?". Good at what? My response is usualy who cares! the price was right and I wanted it. The thought of having one 22, none the less a few bufdles him.
 
When a buddy of mine found out that I carried daily his first question was, "have you ever been shot?" :scrutiny:
 
I didn't get the "Does S&W make a J frame in .45 auto" one. I know revolvers have been made in .45 auto (.45 ACP), why not a J frame?

Aside from having to make the cylinder with only three or four chambers, I'm not sure the frame is thick enough to screw in a .45 caliber barrel. Nor do I think the frame window is wide enough to fit a .45 acp cylinder, even if one only did use one that held three or four shots.
 
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