I have tried a few on j frames and haven’t really settled on anything yet. The best way to shed recoil is to add weight. I’m considering taking a cheap beater set of pachys and opening them up on the inside to hold some lead weights. As in most things, there’s a trade off. Is your j frame for carry, for target, or for bumps in the night? So here’s what I like...
Carry, pachy g10s are nice and light, spread the recoil out over the palm more, and g10 is grippy, so it pulls the skin of the whole hand in recoil.
Target, altamont Altai absolutely. For a long time if you searched “altamont Altai” my gun was the first picture to pop up. It’s still out there, blued 3” on a tan velvety couch cushion. Full grip, no craptastic finger grooves, classy.
Nightstand, I’m leaning towards the crimson trace. You probably won’t need your nightstand gun in the daytime, and a laser sight works well at night.