A couple of things: 85 dB is the threshold for hearing damage. It isn't a matter of if, it is a matter of when. This is not a matter of opion, it is documented fact. Ask your neighborhood hearing aid guy.
A .22 rifle is just at 85dB. A pistol is louder, of course. Everyting else is significantly above that.
As to military: we use hearing protection at the range. In a fire fight, forget it. Yes we all have service connected hearing loss, from explosions, cannon fire, shooting, and drill sgts. Any level of hearing loss, including tinnitis is maxed out at 10% service conection and gets us a set of expensive hearing aids every 5 years. Don't wait till you are an old guy to get this claim started, If you were combat arms (Infantry, MP, engineer, or involved in loud noises (truck/hummer/track driver, helicopters, etc) file a claim just as soon as you get out.
Don't expose your kids to unprotected shooting noises, in the misguided attempt to "toughen" them or to "let them know what to expect". You are screwing up their hearing, and by definition abusing yoiur kids. You may not like hearing that, but too bad. It's the truth.
Emergency shooting, indoors, is just that: an emergency. Make your decision as you need to, and do it.
finally: hearing loss can be mitigated with a hearing aid. Tinnitus is PERMANENT.
I always wear both plugs and muffs at the range, or while shooting Pdogs, or ground quirrels, since the shooting is rather fast. Hunting I wear a superior set of hearing aids, that shut off instantly when the sound goes over 80dB, and is turned up to hear soft sounds, between shots (like when I am sitting in the tree stand.
My background includes 13 years active duty with a year in VN (68-69), and 25 years in the practice of emergency medicine.