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Help me help her

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Bullnettles, Oct 4, 2010.

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  1. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    Hello,

    This is about my girlfriend and I's recent trip to the range. She did well with the Glock, which was surprising after a few of her previous shoots, so I was proud of her. It's a little heavy for her, but I don't have a model 70 in 380 that she liked... Anyway, we go on down to the rifle range, and I put 10 rounds downrange, then said why don't you give it a try? She has operated my other AR 5 or 6 times, and I gave her a full magazine. She said what do I do? I said try to figure it out, it's just like my other one. She starts pouting rather than trying. I'm a mechanical type thinker, and I can't grasp why someone would want something hand fed to them after they have been taught otherwise. How do you guys have the patience you do with novice shooters?
     
  2. alexp

    alexp Member

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    Lighten Up

    IMHO you should have showed her.
     
  3. alohachris

    alohachris Member

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    Was she 'pouting' or feeling nervous and needing to be safe with a weapon that she's unfamiliar with or confused about?

    Was she 'pouting' or trying to make you feel good by letting you 'be the man' and 'show' her your 'expertise'?
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2010
  4. NELSONs02

    NELSONs02 Member

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    At least she's out there with you. Turn it into a negative thing and she'll never want to go.
     
  5. fireside44

    fireside44 Member

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    At this rate you won't have a girlfriend to show how to shoot much longer.

    Instruction is key. Don't hold back. You can probably get some free squeezes if you work this right.
     
  6. youngda9

    youngda9 member

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    Some people don't want to "figure it out".
    Some people want exact instructions on what to to.
    Some people are intimidated by firearms.
    Some people are intimidated by their SO, and don't want to screw up or dissapoint.
    Some people pout to get their way...it is their way of gaining control over a situation(or person) when they feel they have none.
    Some people pout in order to get the attention focused on themselves.

    You'll have to figure out which of the above applies to your girlfriend, and if they are traits that you can accept in the long run. I'm afraid my internet diagnosis can go no further.
     
  7. dovedescending

    dovedescending Member

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    Good teaching keeps on teaching. You should've said "It's just like my other one, sweetie. You smack this here back towards ya', that'll chamber a round, point it towards the target and squeeze the trigger. Same as the last one."

    Or words to that effect. The point is, teaching is not the same as telling once or twice. As a teacher, it is your duty to continue to instruct for as long as is necessary.
     
  8. Red Cent

    Red Cent Member

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    I bet you holler at her to get you a beer.:evil:
     
  9. mstrat

    mstrat Member

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    When I handle an unfamiliar firearm at the store, I sometimes ask the person behind the counter to point out the locations of the controls or explain its operation (e.g. "is this SA, DAO, DA/SA?").

    I consider this to be the safer, wiser, quicker, and most respectful way to learn with somebody else's property.

    I could certainly figure it out on my own if I had to, but I feel it's better to let the expert give me the quick lowdown rather than me futzing about with their equipment.

    Now.. on a range with a loaded magazine, I'm twice as likely to ask.

    All this to say:
    I love tinkering and figuring out how stuff works as much as the next guy, but it makes me uncomfortable to do so with others' property. Doubly so with live rounds in others' property.

    In my case, I don't feel this is an attitude to be corrected. It may not in your girlfriends' either.
     
  10. hso

    hso Moderator Staff Member

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    That wasn't appropriate. Anyone unfamiliar with firearms that wants to be safe is going to ask about handling an unfamiliar firearm safely. Being told to "figure it out" simply tells them you don't care about them or their safety.
     
  11. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    Thank you for the responses. Next time I will show her everything she asks for. I want her to shoot and she wants to get her CCW, but I'm just not the best teacher.
     
  12. sargas23

    sargas23 Member

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    This also illustrates the difference in how men and women differ when handling firearms. Men seem to prefer a short lesson followed by lots of hands-on training. Women learn best when given very detailed explanations followed by step-by-step handling instructions.
     
  13. Toaster

    Toaster Member

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    Figure it out? Were you hoping for an AD?
     
  14. Six

    Six Member

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    I think it's more a matter of women tend to actually listen to instruction, while men were born with the innate ability to shoot, albeit poorly, and can't wait to show it.

    Secondly, IMHO spouses/partners really shouldn't teach each other to shoot. Way too much baggage getting in the way.

    There might not be a problem with teaching the technical aspects (this is the safety, this is how you remove the magazine), but criticism should probably be left to someone else.
     
  15. hso

    hso Moderator Staff Member

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    It's good to admit where we're not capable. Perhaps the best thing to do is get an instructor to show her. You can go a long way recognizing where a professional can do a much better job.
     
  16. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    I asked her to figure out how to chamber a round, not operate the whole system. She knows mostly what she's doing and is a good shot. She's not a complete novice guys. I asked her to figure out what to do next after she had inserted the magazine ON HER OWN. She knows the safety rules and knows to respect firearms. She's not an idiot and not going to AD. Her finger is trained well by now, and not from yelling :). I don't know, I'll try telling her everything over and over, but she's much more interested in how facebook works.
     
  17. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    And you're right Hso, I'll try to look some up the next time I'm out at the range, but it may be a while, my weekends are now swamped.
     
  18. Onward Allusion

    Onward Allusion Member

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    I'm usually pretty tactful on THR but what you did was the worst way of trying to teach someone how to shoot. It's no better than one of the bubbas taking their GF/Wife to the range for the first time and say "babe, just point and shoot".

    If you really want to help her, (assuming she knows the 4 rules) go over all the parts of the rifle before hitting the range. Let her handle it. Dry fire it. Do this over and over until she is comfortable with it. When at the range, show her again with you as the example. Let her take it with 1 in the mag. Shoot. Work up to 2 rounds. Shoot. 3....etc... full mag... All the time watching her close like a hawk.
     
  19. Onward Allusion

    Onward Allusion Member

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    What if she doesn't know what to ask about? You need to walk through the entire process even if you think she should already know it. Better yet, have a 3rd party professional do it. Training a GF/Wife can put a lot of strain on the relationship if not done right.


     
  20. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    Ok guys, I worded it wrong and it's brought out a lot of heat. I told her to chamber a round, something she's done about 30-40 times before on the other gun and she had already fired rounds downrange. I was right beside her the whole time, it isn't like I walked off. I wanted her to figure it out because she had done it before. When she gave up (she likes things done for her), I got frustrated. I didn't yell, and no, I don't yell for her to get me a beer. She is not a novice, but she's also not hands-on. I will hire a professional to help her out. Sorry to get you guys and myself so wound up.
     
  21. NavyLCDR

    NavyLCDR member

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    On the range with live ammo in a gun is not exactly the time and place for "you figure it out". Do you put a teenager in a car on a public street and say "you figure it out?"

    Sounds to me, from your previous post just now, that you have discovered a major incompatibility between you two. I would look at that harder than just on the gun range.

    Your girlfriend is not the only one who likes to pout.
     
  22. youngda9

    youngda9 member

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    We will never understand women. I realized that a long time ago. Soon you'll realize it also and stop trying to understand.

    :)
     
  23. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    Wow NavyLT, I didn't know that admitting I'm incapable of doing something on my own and seeking professional help was pouting. Very THR... Also, you have no idea how my g/f and I get along away from the range, do you? Please refrain from answering this thread if you are going to be immature and assume things.

    As for everyone else, thank you for your input. I know I'm not perfect, but I do want her to learn to shoot well and WILL be finding an alternative in the future. I won't stop inviting her to come with me and shoot when she wants to though :).
     
  24. FriedRice

    FriedRice Member

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    To the OP, sounds like you heard the message to get a trainer for her and you won't do this again. I can offer another possible suggestion for why she needed help with something you thought was within her skill level.

    She's treating that firearm with respect, like a loaded weapon, which it is. If at all unsure (new gun), she may have just "fritzed" a bit. Sometimes when a new skill is added or you've had lunch or you're at a different range, or pick any other new variable, people can "fritz." Their skill set drops dramatically and they have to stop and regroup. I saw this happen in recent instruction and saw instructors respond appropriately. Everybody calmed down, booted their brain back up and things went well after that.

    Facebook won't physically harm you, or embarrass you in front of your boyfriend. There's little risk she would "fritz" in something that has very little danger associated with it.
     
  25. Bullnettles

    Bullnettles Member

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    That's a good point. It had been a while, so maybe she just forgot. This wouldn't be my first lapse in judgement, but I do try to keep them to a minimum. I also have a buddy who is a better shot than I that might be willing to help out as well, he's pretty patient.
     
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