Help my Wife understand need VS want
- Thread starter EBRDude
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csmkersh
Member
That's easy. Tell to count the number of shoes in her closet and then get her to explain need versus want.
JCMAG
Member
I think she might be correct in her assumption.
But seriously, as mentioned above, the big three are shotgun, pistol, rifle.
Those are the basic bases to be covered. It's not even about a doomsday scenario or something nutty like that. It's the basics.
There was a time when my mother (who is only in her 40s), when she was a girl, that her father had to put food on the table with his rifle because money was short then. A rifle is a great tool to have if you should ever need it.
If the wife is reading: If he has a pistol and a .22 .... the man is in a poverty of firearms! The poor soul! Mercy for this lad, mercy!
JerryM
Member
Hi BigO01,
This post will no doubt cause some more hits on me.
There has never been any doubt that I am the head of my home. That is a responsibility given by God in His Word.
However, my wife and I have always agreed and known what our long term goals were. Accordingly, we have both tried to "operate" with those goals in mind. We have never had separate bank accounts, and either of us can write checks and buy whatever we want. It has always been that way in our marriage. She worked and put me through college, and has not worked since, except that being a wife and mother is a 24 hour day job. The hourly pay is small too. Whatever we have is equal and equally obtained.
But even with that said, I always talk about any significant purchase with her. She does the same with me. We have never disagreed, but if she had some objection to my buying anything it would take some important considerations before I would go ahead anyway.
Marriage is not 50/50, but 100/100. The thinking that "She/he cannot tell me what to do" is a sure formula for marital disaster.
Buying a gun is such a small thing compared to a long and happy marriage that I would not even consider it a problem either way.
I am willing to give in to her, and she to me. Boy! has that worked for us with a lot of fun to go with it.
Regards,
Jerry
This post will no doubt cause some more hits on me.
There has never been any doubt that I am the head of my home. That is a responsibility given by God in His Word.
However, my wife and I have always agreed and known what our long term goals were. Accordingly, we have both tried to "operate" with those goals in mind. We have never had separate bank accounts, and either of us can write checks and buy whatever we want. It has always been that way in our marriage. She worked and put me through college, and has not worked since, except that being a wife and mother is a 24 hour day job. The hourly pay is small too.
Whatever we have is equal and equally obtained.But even with that said, I always talk about any significant purchase with her. She does the same with me. We have never disagreed, but if she had some objection to my buying anything it would take some important considerations before I would go ahead anyway.
Marriage is not 50/50, but 100/100. The thinking that "She/he cannot tell me what to do" is a sure formula for marital disaster.
Buying a gun is such a small thing compared to a long and happy marriage that I would not even consider it a problem either way.
I am willing to give in to her, and she to me. Boy! has that worked for us with a lot of fun to go with it.
Regards,
Jerry
I'm no marriage expert, but somehow I can't imagine "Hey read this THR thread honey. I specifically asked a bunch of Bubba's to point out how wrong you are and they believe I'm right about that rifle argument thing we had the other night" going over real well. Good luck with that.
bogie
Member
Tell her that if you don't get the rifle, you'll take up bass fishing. You'll spend thousands of dollars on a boat and paraphenalia You'll be gone on the weekends, and arrive home reeking of sweat and stale alcohol. Half the driveway will be devoted to a boat, half the garage will get fishing gear, and you'll clean smelly dead fish on the back deck, and expect her to cook them. Your "fishing buddies" will whiz and throw up off the sides of the deck. The pets will learn to hide.
Tell her that if you don't get the rifle, you'll take up golfing. You'll be at the course with your buddies at least 8-10 hours out of the week, and you'll arrive home reeking of sweat and stale alcohol. You'll spend thousands of dollars on golf clubs, accessories, and you'll dress like something that would make a Memphis pimp puke. Half the garage will be devoted to storage of clubs and stuff, and the driveway will get a land-yacht with a trunk large enough to hold it all. Your "golfing buddies" will occasionally come over and desecrate the deck, demanding that she make "a widdle morning cocktail" for them. The pets will be eaten.
She'll buy the rifle for you.
Tell her that if you don't get the rifle, you'll take up golfing. You'll be at the course with your buddies at least 8-10 hours out of the week, and you'll arrive home reeking of sweat and stale alcohol. You'll spend thousands of dollars on golf clubs, accessories, and you'll dress like something that would make a Memphis pimp puke. Half the garage will be devoted to storage of clubs and stuff, and the driveway will get a land-yacht with a trunk large enough to hold it all. Your "golfing buddies" will occasionally come over and desecrate the deck, demanding that she make "a widdle morning cocktail" for them. The pets will be eaten.
She'll buy the rifle for you.
Every household needs a basic set of tools. A good pistol, shotgun, and rifle are also on the basic list of tools. One of each with a minimum of 500 rounds for each. ABSOLUTE MINIMUM FOR ANY HOUSEHOLD. Most here on this forum would probably consider that unbearably low.
Have you considered a less expensive tool? Such as an AR? I have found out over the last few years of marriage, the less expensive the tool, more likely I am to get it.
Have you considered a less expensive tool? Such as an AR? I have found out over the last few years of marriage, the less expensive the tool, more likely I am to get it.
Superlite27
Member
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+1
Common knowlege = at least 1 pistol, 1 rifle, 1 shotgun for all general purposes.
(More is reccommended. 1 each is bare minimum)
I'm not sure who said it: (I think it was Jeff Cooper) "One of anything is not good, because if one breaks, you're down to zero."
Common knowlege = at least 1 pistol, 1 rifle, 1 shotgun for all general purposes.
(More is reccommended. 1 each is bare minimum)
I'm not sure who said it: (I think it was Jeff Cooper) "One of anything is not good, because if one breaks, you're down to zero."
JCMAG
Member
I just looked up with an FS2000 is.
You're going to have a hard time explaining to her why you need that alien-blaster instead of a carbine.
Looks like that ugly thing the Israelis want to replace their M4s with, except uglier
But, it's your money, comrade. Now, if it were mine, I'd probably get a Beowulf and spend the other 700 dollars on gobs of ammo and reloading supplies... or attachments... or 2 or 3 shotguns...
Man, I wish I had that kind of money!
J Star
Member
I too really want to get an FS2000. (And a PS-90, and a...)
However, in discussing WANT vs NEED, an FS2000 is certainly a want.
In my mind, you NEED a rifle. Period. People will tell you that it's not a need because you don't require it to survive on a daily basis. These are the same people who will be unprepared in the event of an emergency, because putting those extra couple hundred dollars in the retirement fund was more important that having a basic survival tool on hand. You NEED to have a rifle. Decent semi-auto rifles can be obtained for $300 to $400.
You WANT a $2,000 + semi-auto rifle. One that comes in a caliber less than sufficient for hunting any sort of larger game animal for food. (Sure, you can kill a deer with a .223. You could conceivably kill a charging elephant with one too, but would you really chance that?)
Sorry, in my mind your wife wins this round. (Mine too, stupid $4000 furnace replacement!)
However, in discussing WANT vs NEED, an FS2000 is certainly a want.
In my mind, you NEED a rifle. Period. People will tell you that it's not a need because you don't require it to survive on a daily basis. These are the same people who will be unprepared in the event of an emergency, because putting those extra couple hundred dollars in the retirement fund was more important that having a basic survival tool on hand. You NEED to have a rifle. Decent semi-auto rifles can be obtained for $300 to $400.
You WANT a $2,000 + semi-auto rifle. One that comes in a caliber less than sufficient for hunting any sort of larger game animal for food. (Sure, you can kill a deer with a .223. You could conceivably kill a charging elephant with one too, but would you really chance that?)
Sorry, in my mind your wife wins this round. (Mine too, stupid $4000 furnace replacement!)
A NIB Saiga is about $300. Get one in 7.62x39 and one in 5.56 NATO. That's $600. These guns are tough, reliable and accurate enough for any rifle fight. Get about $200 worth of ammo for each. There's $1,000 well-spent on just the concept you espouse.
Only problem is you don't get the space-gun.
tinygnat219
Member
Maybe it's the price tag of the FS 2000?
Those run close to 2000.
Try a proven design, like an AR-15 with adjustable stock. A good one will cost you about half. THAT might help.
Those run close to 2000.
Try a proven design, like an AR-15 with adjustable stock. A good one will cost you about half. THAT might help.
Please read Isaiah 3:12.
Your whole viewpoint EBRdude is sad. You've got things backwards. You've squared the circle. You've got the cart before the horse.
Your first mistake regarding the immediate subject of this thread was getting into a debate with a woman about guns. If a woman doesn't agree with you about guns, debating her is the LEAST effective way of educating her. Women don't approach things with a mindset of seeking for the truth, they tend to start out with something they think "should" be true, or that "sounds" true, then they set out to confirm it. If you listen to most of Dr. Laura's callers, they're all women, and they call for CONFIRMATION and not information.
Second major mistake was debating with a woman a subject that is a man's domain, AND DOING IT with practical arguments. Nothting accomplishes LESS with women than when these guys insist on having a pointless, go nowhere discussion with women that goes like this: "see wife, we need to be prepared for THIS scary scenario, and SEE, LOOK, this gun fits THIS scary scenario the best!" Gawd when will guys learn.
It's not politically correct, but there really ARE men's domains, and women's domains. Society has essentially forced men's and women's worlds together, and forced all sorts of intermixing. Even suggesting that there's actually such a thing as separate men's and world's will get you attacked.
Take back control of your finances.
Amazing how many people didn't read enough of the first page before offering advice here .
The man isn't dipping into a child's College fund here he has had the AR15's "you know plural as in more than 1" and has chosen to sell them and other guns to fund this weapon purchase .
Does the wife sell off pairs of shoes to pay for her next purchase ?
Discussing using the family income that pays bills is one thing but when you sell off part of your collection to come up with the money I see no reason a discussion is needed .
It seems to me he is trying to go along in the spirit of what she wants by shooting less expensive 223 ammo rather than 308 without giving up his hobby .
It also sounds like she is an over domineering Bitch who thinks she has the right to dictate to the man what he can and can NOT do with the things he already has and has worked hard to acquire .
I am not suggesting that any couple irresponsibly spend money on a whim but if your financial situation is fine and you are funding a purchase in such a way I don't see a problem .
I would of course tell the wife what I was planning on spending hundreds of dollars if the money were coming out of the bank and a discussion would be in order but if I were selling other guns to buy what I wanted I would tell her period no discussion , because it wasn't funds from our "regular" money and I would no more expect her to consult with me if she was selling say some jewelry to buy others .
When you were a child did you ask you mothers permission to trade Baseball cards or Hotwheeels when chances are she paid for them ?
Personally I think he needs to grow some Gonads and call a lawyer and tell her to go to hell !
The man isn't dipping into a child's College fund here he has had the AR15's "you know plural as in more than 1" and has chosen to sell them and other guns to fund this weapon purchase .
Does the wife sell off pairs of shoes to pay for her next purchase ?
Discussing using the family income that pays bills is one thing but when you sell off part of your collection to come up with the money I see no reason a discussion is needed .
It seems to me he is trying to go along in the spirit of what she wants by shooting less expensive 223 ammo rather than 308 without giving up his hobby .
It also sounds like she is an over domineering Bitch who thinks she has the right to dictate to the man what he can and can NOT do with the things he already has and has worked hard to acquire .
I am not suggesting that any couple irresponsibly spend money on a whim but if your financial situation is fine and you are funding a purchase in such a way I don't see a problem .
I would of course tell the wife what I was planning on spending hundreds of dollars if the money were coming out of the bank and a discussion would be in order but if I were selling other guns to buy what I wanted I would tell her period no discussion , because it wasn't funds from our "regular" money and I would no more expect her to consult with me if she was selling say some jewelry to buy others .
When you were a child did you ask you mothers permission to trade Baseball cards or Hotwheeels when chances are she paid for them ?
Personally I think he needs to grow some Gonads and call a lawyer and tell her to go to hell !
benEzra
Moderator Emeritus
Just so I understand the situation, you sold your rifle in order to put the money toward a new one (so as not to place a strain on the family budget), and then the rifle money got taken and used for something else?
To me, this isn't so much about justifying a new purchase, as it is about the fact that you previously SOLD your rifle, the money got diverted into something other than was previously agreed upon, and you would like that money back as previously agreed. If you and your wife sold her wife car with the intent of getting her a new one, and then turned around and spent the car money on other things, that would be equally unfair.
Having said that, an FS2000 retails for what, $2200?
If you are looking at it strictly from a security standpoint, you could pick up a Russian Saiga .223 for under $300, a Romanian AK for $400 (you'd probably want to add an optic to that), or a reliable AR and an inexpensive red dot for under $1000 (possibly under $800 for a used one). Any of those would address the security concerns without spending $2200.
I don't think you can justify the FS2000 strictly on security concerns, although it would certainly be a nice rifle to have.
Best wishes, and hope you guys work things out. And don't spend yourself into financial straits; sticking away $100 or $200 a month for a while might allow you to get one later, if your financial situation permits.
To me, this isn't so much about justifying a new purchase, as it is about the fact that you previously SOLD your rifle, the money got diverted into something other than was previously agreed upon, and you would like that money back as previously agreed. If you and your wife sold her wife car with the intent of getting her a new one, and then turned around and spent the car money on other things, that would be equally unfair.
Having said that, an FS2000 retails for what, $2200?
If you are looking at it strictly from a security standpoint, you could pick up a Russian Saiga .223 for under $300, a Romanian AK for $400 (you'd probably want to add an optic to that), or a reliable AR and an inexpensive red dot for under $1000 (possibly under $800 for a used one). Any of those would address the security concerns without spending $2200.
I don't think you can justify the FS2000 strictly on security concerns, although it would certainly be a nice rifle to have.
Best wishes, and hope you guys work things out. And don't spend yourself into financial straits; sticking away $100 or $200 a month for a while might allow you to get one later, if your financial situation permits.
Guitargod1985
Member
deleted
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The Swede
Member
I cannot believe some of the responses to this thread. A rifle is a need. Period! You may need it tomorrow. We aren't God, we can't see into the future. So we prepare for the future. Everything we do in life is preparation. If someone broke into your house tonight, your pistol, shotgun, rifle, what have you would be a need. Your life would depend on it. As would be a rifle maybe next week or 20 years from now. We cannot know for certain. What are some of you smoking?
Lupinus
Member
"Honey, I do not need more guns, I want more guns. Just like you do not need new shoes, or a new outfit, or a new purse or....honey wait come back!"
rocinante
Member
You are silly. If you opinion doesn't count that much a bunch of gun nuts is going to move her?
You will have better luck selling her on a shotgun in the NEED versus WANT endeavor IMHO but I am a gun nut too.
You will have better luck selling her on a shotgun in the NEED versus WANT endeavor IMHO but I am a gun nut too.
sm
member
Need vs Want
Need:
Your wife does not need the shrinking shoe monster causing her shoes to no longer fit, , big butt ghost causing her clothes to longer fit her and show off her wonderful figure you compliment her on , and the Clash Gremlin to cause her clothes, shoes, purses and accessories else to no longer match.
Want:
You really want your wife to have Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness and a .22 rifle is the proper tool to deal with evils that wish to impede her ability to have these freedoms.
Need:
Your wife does not need the shrinking shoe monster causing her shoes to no longer fit, , big butt ghost causing her clothes to longer fit her and show off her wonderful figure you compliment her on , and the Clash Gremlin to cause her clothes, shoes, purses and accessories else to no longer match.
Want:
You really want your wife to have Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness and a .22 rifle is the proper tool to deal with evils that wish to impede her ability to have these freedoms.
22-rimfire
Member
I suspect your wife is correct.
My solution is to not bring it up at all and put the thing in layaway and pay for it slowly. Then one day it appears at the house.... she sees it and you say, oh I've had that for a long time. But then, my accumulation provides a lot of camoflage if you know what I mean.
My solution is to not bring it up at all and put the thing in layaway and pay for it slowly. Then one day it appears at the house.... she sees it and you say, oh I've had that for a long time. But then, my accumulation provides a lot of camoflage if you know what I mean.
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