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I have the following handguns (and would limit this discussion to handguns) available for home defense. I shoot each of these with relatively equal proficiency, and all have proven reliable. Your opinions on each, along with recommended load, would be appreciated. My opinion about home defense is to stop the threat, period (i.e if its time to use deadly force, it should be deadly). I am in a single family, one room occupied dwelling without immediate neighbors. Here's the selection: Beretta 92FS 9mm 15+1; S&W 66 4" .357 revolver; S&W M29 .44mag 6" revolver (w/ .44spec?), and Springfield XD 45 .45ACP 13+1. Again, your opinion and the associated load rec. appreciated....
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Smith and Wesson Model 66
Smith and Wesson Model 29
I would go with one for you and one for your wife.
Even if your wife has smaller hands and MAY or May Not be weaker - I bet that she could use that Model 66 in 38 Specials or Plus P even though it only has a 4 inch long barrel. For that type of protection I would want a 6 inch barrel myself even if it had more weight to it but you are talking about what YOU already OWN and have on HAND!
I am 5'3" tall, small but not tiny hands, average for my height, have a weak left arm/hand due to a bad accident plus some arthritis @ almost 58 years old.
I can shoot 38Special Plus P and prefer them over 357Magnums but for home defense... I would go with 38Specials for HER in this case. If she can practice and SHOOT well with 357Magnum... let HER do it! If not... 38Special or Plus P! She has to KNOW and shoot HER GUN well no matter what she chooses! Practice with it often and so forth - both of you! For me... if I owned YOUR GUN... I would use 357Magnum in Hollow Points. (Since I already own this - S&W Model 686 - I would USE 357Magnum hollow points! Mine has a 6 inch barrel. That or my RUGER 45Colt aka long colt.)
I have previously owned and shot (Gift to me.) 2 - S&W Model 29's. The 29-2 and 29-3 in the past. Six inch barrels like my S&W Model 686 in 357Magnum. I could shoot them VERY well and preferred 44Specials but if NEED be... 44Magnums too. I rented a Model 629 once at my old gun store back east.
I suggest that the wife shoot 38Specials or 38Special Plus P (357Magnums if she can shoot this WELL!) for that Model 66.
I suggest that you use the Model 29 and if you want to use 44Specials instead of 44Magnums - I would do that.
I don't know anything about your other guns that you listed although I did own, love and shoot tons out of my former Glock Model 19C - 9mm. My late husband shot it too. NEVER one jam or problem with that gun. It was my very first gun that I bought. Previously I used my late husband's 357Magnum revolver with a 6 inch barrel. I saw the Springfield's up at Camp Perry years ago but I have never owned or shot one. I have never shot a Beretta - seen them though. I heard that both companies make nice guns though!
I would NOT have someone with smaller or weaker hands shoot some super BIG caliber gun with a SUPER, super short barrel but that is just MY OWN opinion and experience of what I have shot with other people's guns. You did not mention this though. The LONGER barrel makes it so much easier in my NOT so humble opinion! Grin. Three inch barrel Minimum for a 38Special Plus P - Model 60 - S&W. Four inch and UP for 38Special and up in others - my opinion. The S&W Model 60 is NICE in a 38Special Plus P but I prefer a longer barrel.
Best wishes to you in using what YOU already own, love and shoot WELL. Have your wife practice often IF you can get her to do this or even once a month or so. I would keep those OTHER 2 guns loaded and ready to go 24/7 if you feel the need to do this. One or two on each floor of your two story house. ALL with you when you go to bed at night if you feel safer that way. Speed loaders work well for some people with their revolvers too.
Contrary to popular opinion... some ladies can and DO shoot bigger calibers very well even if they are smaller, have some arthritis and/or have weaker arms/hands due to old injuries.
Best wishes!
Catherine