How hard is it to get a restraining order lifted?

[megatronrules]

Hi all I'm in Florida and my wife is wanting a divorce,I don't think she'll ask for a R.O. But if she does what are my options?

I spoke to an attorney this morning and they told me that at first its "temporary" and the there is a hearing to have it made "permanent". My question has anyone here ever had this happen to them and if so how hard was it say after the divorce was final to get the order lifted? By being made permanent does this mean its on you for life,or is it still possible to have a judge lift it?

As a bit of back story here her ex husband and my 16 Y.O. Stepson had me arrested two months ago,I was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon but the state attorney didn't file any charges against me. For the record I'm innocent I've never laid a hand on my wife or anyone else for that matter,and I certainly never assaulted anyone with a deadly weapon. This is B.S. My wife only pissed because I refused to move back in to our house unless her son is put into a drug rehab center.

I'm not a violent man that being said will this hurt me when trying to get a R.O. Lifted? Thanks any help guys and feedback about your own experiences with this.

 

[cosmos7]

It's going to be messy, and unpleasant. Keep your cool, no shouting or doing anything stupid. TRO will come off eventually as long as you do this. As long as she's got nothing to pin on you it should only last the length of the disso procedings at worst...

 

[ArmedBear]

You have an attorney. That's the most important thing in the world right now. Good to hear it.

I have no idea how Florida laws work. But he does.

 

[conhntr]

its ridiculous that s.o.p for divorce lawers are to file restraining orders so they can get better results when the courts start splitting up the money/kids

 

[X-Rap]

You better play nice and act like you very civil rights depend on it. Stay away from her unless you have others as witness and get your business finished and move on.
IDK if she craps in your boots, keep your cool or you will regret it. If she hasn't yet maybe she won't but keep swallowing hard and don't make waves and enjoy your life without her. I have a hard time finding single women who don't have kids that need their A$$ kicked.

 

[Fremmer]

you gotta ask your Florida lawyer about this, man. THR is a great gun board, but it isn't the place to get legal advice about Florida law and your particular situation.

I hope you keep your chin up, though. Don't give up! Things will get better.

 

[Kindrox]

Stay away from her unless you have others as witness and get your business finished and move on.

I'd speak that out loud 10 times if I were you. She already showed you what she is willing to do to get a leg up. And I would NEVER speak to her on the phone, since she can make up anything she wants.

Every time you do something, do it like the judge is watching you.

 

[husker]

i just went threw this crap. protection order is now drooped & My 8 year old child is now in my custody. & i get child support now
I made every 1 involved. & there were 5 peeps including my self, take a drug test
not cheap but was the only way i could prove i wasn't lying & i was innocent of all accusations.
my best advise to you would be this
#1 find a great attory not a good 1 a great 1
#2 NEVER LYE to your attorney & tell him every thing.
#3 stay away from her Let your attorney do your talking for you. take a job out of town if you must. leave her alone.
#4 make a journal. write every thing down EVERY THING from day 1. & keep it updated. & date the times places & what happened ect. shows a judge you believe in your side of the story. will help your attorney as well
#5 be prepared to spend some cash. you can make more cash. Your Reputation not so easy.
#6 do your best to be yourself on the stand. fij idy or nervousness will make you look like your telling a fib or have something to hide. dont be afraid to look right at the judge an answer the op sing consuls ??? i did this from time to time. not every time. but a few crew shall moments shall i say.


hope this helps

 

[husker]

the older the judge the better i felt about what i went threw also. i was lucky & had a man in his late 60s for a judge. & i still thank god for that every day.

this is great advise
Every time you do something, do it like the judge is watching you.

 

[megatronrules]

Thanks guys and yeah I'll walk with two feet in one shoe while I have to,I just think its crap that this can happen to people in America where your supposed to be innocent UNTIL PROVEN guilty.

So much for that crap I guess. The thing that scares me is I'm only working a part time job since loosing mine last year,I'm looking for work but no dice so far. As a result I don't have the money for an attorney,I spend my entire savings fighting that last crock they tried sticking me with. I haven't been serbed with anything yet but she threatened it so I preparing.

 

[Sebastian the Ibis]

Husker has good advice there.

Get the best lawyer you can afford! A wife threatening a restraining order is almost as a bad as actual criminal prosecution. You are playing with fire anytime you are around her.

 

[megatronrules]

sebastian the Ibis thats the problem as well if she files the restraining order I'm SOL as I've no cash to hire any attorney. Does anyone know if there is a public assistance for an attorney if one can't afford one?

 

[cskny]

You've got some good advise in here.

If you know the divorce is coming, file first. Restraining order aside for a moment, many times the process gives significant advantage to the first one to file. Use the prior accusations as an example of an attempt to have you "falsely arrested".

If you file first, it could be harder for her to use "fear of life" as a primary reason to file and simultaneously get an initial restraining order

Keep your cool, always, no matter what. No excuses or exceptions. Walk away if you have to. You WON'T get a second chance if you blow this.

try and record EVERYTHING. It's legal (in most states) to secretly record a conversation (phone/in person) if you are a party in that conversation. You'll be surprised how quickly any conversations will get spun into things they were not. If you have it on tape, it can be very helpful in actually discrediting the other. Figure out a way to have a recorder on you always in case.

Journal! For sure. Your credibility is much greater if you've keep day to day records that you can refer to later.

Good luck. It's a crappy process.

 

[divemedic]

try and record EVERYTHING. It's legal to secretly record a conversation (phone/in person) if you are a party in that conversation. You'll be surprised how quickly any conversations will get spun into things they were not. If you have it on tape, it can be very helpful in actually discrediting the other. Figure out a way to have a recorder on you always in case.

It is not legal in Florida to record a conversation unless all parties to the conversation are aware they are being recorded. Florida is one of 12 states that make it a crime to record another person without their knowledge.

Also, I went through this before. Read my story here

http://www.thehighroad.org/showpost.php?p=5847230&postcount=3

 

[cskny]

Thanks divemedic, glad you clarified for Florida. An illegal act would just be more 'bad' advise

 

[nitetrane98]

Still not a bad idea to record it. Just tell her on tape that you're recording everything. Those laws refer to phone conversations but if you're under a TRO it's not like you're going to have any face to face talks.

 

[wyocarp]

I recently spoke to a Judge about this very thing. You must be very proactive to make sure this doesn't become permanent. He told me that once they are in place, they are hard to get removed. Right now you need very good legal representation.

 

[divemedic]

Still not a bad idea to record it. Just tell her on tape that you're recording everything. Those laws refer to phone conversations but if you're under a TRO it's not like you're going to have any face to face talks.

If you are under a domestic violence protection order (DVO) it is a violation of the order to have any contact with the Petitioner, directly or indirectly. The judge can make that mean what he wants it to mean.

In my case, while we were together I had set up our bank accounts so that my gf and I could transfer money to each other electronically. Then, when the gf and I broke up, but before I was served with the order, I went to the bank and canceled that particular feature. The gf told the judge that I did it after the order was in effect, and if I had not been able to prove that I had done it before the DVO was in place, the judge was going to throw me in jail.

They mean it about domestic violence in this state. Do not do anything that can even remotely tick off the judge, or you can kiss your gun rights goodbye for life. You get a good lawyer, you pay him for his advice, and follow it.

If you want to be sneaky, get a list of the 5 best divorce attorneys in town, pay them for a consultation, and hire one. Since the others have consulted with you already, they cannot represent your wife.

 

[Webbj0219]

I guess how this relates to this forum is with the assault wdw charge. If they pin that on you, your guns are probably going byebye. Thats why you make sure you marry someone that has the same veiwpoints as you. I wouldnt marry an anti-. Thats kinda the feel I get for this. A wife thats anti-gun that knows you have guns. When things go really bad in your relationship, from what Ive heard a few examples of on here she'll probable try and bring your guns into it. Not sure if thats your situation, though?

 

[megatronrules]

Webbj0219 the charge against me were dropped I was exonerated on those I'm an innocent man.

 

[husker]

If you want to be sneaky, get a list of the 5 best divorce attorneys in town, pay them for a consultation, and hire one. Since the others have consulted with you already, they cannot represent your wife.
I LIKE THIS ^^^



what if you flied 1 on her first??? just a thought. she has crazy kid on drugs thats enough right there im sure

 

[Sebastian the Ibis]

if she files the restraining order I'm SOL as I've no cash to hire any attorney

I don't know the details of your situation, so take this as a hypothetical based upon the limited facts above.

Give your wife NOTHING that she can use in court. Don't joke around with what you say, don't touch her under any circumstances. Communicate by email if you can. Since you are a member of this forum I assume you are a gun owner, don't ever handle firearms while she is around.

Staying away is the best way to keep her from getting a restraining order. If your financial situation permits you to move out permanently you should seriously consider it. Keep in mind that if you own a house with your wife you may be stuck contributing to the mortgage, especially if there are minor children.

Get $40 in quarters and go to the criminal courthouse to make a copy of your case file, and your wife/step-son/her ex's if they exist. Make sure you have the A-forms, the final adjudication in all cases, and anything that shows people have been fibbing. Keep a journal of any outrageous stuff your wife does, and who saw it etc. Many courts have domestic violence day where the judge does 50 domestic violence hearings at a time. Find out when this is and go see what goes on there before you get summoned there for your own hearing. This will allow you to see what goes on, what works, what doesn’t and who the good attorneys are.

If your wife does sue you for a restraining order, get a lawyer. If you absolutely cannot hire one, and are going to do this pro se, make sure that you respond to the complaint and show up at the hearing. It should go without saying, but if you do go to court you should wear your best suit, be freshly shaved, well groomed, and act as passive and as humble as you possibly can.

If you are not going to hire an attorney, there is really no excuse to not see a days worth of DV hearings. One day off work is worth your freedom. DV day should let you see what that judge wants to see and hear to not enter a restraining order, figure it out and make sure that you can present those facts to the judge if possible.

 

[TCB in TN]

Might be worth a chance to talk to your local Sherrif or Police Chief, and bring up the false accusations and ask he or she for advice on how to protect yourself. In the best case they might actually have some ideas, in the worst case you have already planted the seed here that you are the good guy and have been falsely accused.

 

[Gouranga]

Hey man, as always, I will warn I am NOT a lawyer but I did sleep in a Hampton Inn last week.

1. I would have absolutely no direct contact with her, her son, her grandmother, nobody. None, No letters, no emails, no texts, no phone calls, nothing. If she/they call you tell her to have her attorney call you and hang up. ANY conversation between you to (and phone record will show it), and the judge may get the impression you are "playing" with the order. Give the order wide latitude and do nothing that a judge can even remotely interpret as approaching that order. If her attorney calls you, record the conversation. BEFORE any discussion begins inform the attorney that you are recording the conversation, and does she/he wish to continue with the conversion being recorded.

2. Get as good an attorney as you can afford.

3. The hardest part...be patient. The wheels of justice turn slowly. it could take a while to sort it all out and you may not have the worse happen yet.