How to get someone to not freak out

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DRMMR02

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So I am currently awaiting shipment to Ft. Leonard Wood for BCT/AIT, and as my apartment lease has run out, I have moved back home for a month or so until I leave. I currently own a Walther P22 and P99. And I am wondering if anyone here on THR has been able to convince someone to not freak out around guns. My mom knows I have them, she just doesn't want to see them or hear about them or know that they exist. Now she's not an anti, she understands the need for guns and such, and doesn't feel that no one should have them, she just feels that for her, she doesn't want to even think about them. If I have one field stripped on my desk and she walks into the room mid-sentence, she clams up and turns around and leaves without another word.

So my question is, what is the best way to talk to someone about guns and get them maybe to even hold one and not go hysterical at the sight of one. I know I don't need to do this, as I can leave them locked up and out of sight. But I just feel it would be best for her to at least get past the fear.

Any ideas? Any similar experiences?
 
Progression.

Toy gun, suction cups. Make it a game with multiple people so it's not obvious that your attention's on her.

Then, move to a cheap Airsoft. One of the cheap Wal-Mart transparent plastic looking one.

Then, a real airgun, or a better airsoft, one of the gas-guns with realistic slide action.

Then, a .22 LR.
 
Treat it just like any other tool. Maintain it properly, use it wisely, and don't fondle it at the diner table or while watching TV. Soon it should receed into her mental "background noise" after failing to emit an Earth Shattering Kaboom!
 
Take her out on what my girlfriend calls a "special adventure", suprise her and take her to the range. She may or may not like it, but she probably won't be so apt to clam up on the meer sight of them.
 
Aj's suggestion sounds very good, but even toy guns may turn off your Mom, maybe a viseo game with guns?

Here's another possibility - associate guns with something else your Mom loves.

For example, my wife loves shoes and purses, its kind of hard to associate those with guns but if I had to try I'd do something like Hunny I'm spending $$$ at the range and I think you should spend some money on yourself lets go get you some shoes or a purse after we go to the range OK? Actually going shopping for anything would probably work. Here's another example my wife wants to go to Roy's (a too expensive restraunt) for our anniverssary dinner so we will but I want her to shoot her colt .380 (and maybe that sig p239 I got for her) so I'll figure a way to hit the range before dinner.

Good luck, I'm guessing you are young just by the fact that you are still gullible (naive?) enough to think/want to try and change a womans mind:)
 
Rather than trying to change her how about respecting her in her home. Keep them out of her sight. You know she could tell you to get them out of her house.
 
Physical contact...

At some point, sometime, if you can convince her to TOUCH one of your guns (or all of them), she'll find out they don't bite and that they're made out of similar materials as a toaster or pruning shears or a lamp base or a kitchen knife. Kinda like convincing someone to handle a frog or a lizard who's never done so before. One soon finds out that the frog/lizard are pretty harmless and have qualities that are frankly interesting.

Good luck.
 
Time. Worked on my mom. Of course a fun airsoft can help. (In my house we follow the Four Rules even with airsoft) Try a "ungun" looking one at first.
 
Hi,

Out of sight, out of mind.

I wouldn't try to do anything to change her mind. She's probably as interested in learning about guns as you might be knitting.

With this in mind, ask yourself . . . "Would I want Mom to try to get me to fall in love with knitting sweaters while I'm on leave?"

IT'S OK FOR FOLKS NOT TO LIKE GUNS.

Enjoy this special time with your mom. In years to come, she may start liking guns. Probably about the time you like knitting!;)

My wife is the same way so this is why I posted this advice!

Good luck . . . and stay safe if you get deployed to the "Sand!"

T.
 
The knitting comparison doesn't work because, as far as we know, the OP isn't quickly exiting when he enters a room and finds his mother preparing yarn.

His mother seems to want to be in denial that her son owns firearms; and I feel that is rather telling of her attitude despite excuses made. That's her right, of course, but firearms are a part of her son's life and I'd find it rather sad if she persistently tried to ignore that.
The OP is military, yes? Perhaps this is a manifistation of her fear that her son could be hurt.

If it was my mother, I'd try and get her to somebody's land to shoot cans.
But then my own mother has never taken an interest in my videogames or been shooting (in my lifetime); but dad and I still clean the guns on the kitchen table when I visit.
 
My mother was the same way. As soon as I was 18, I started buying firearms. I was out of the house prior to that, but did have to move home for a few weeks on two occasions b/c room mates flaked out out the last minute. During these periods, there were obviously firearms in the house. After awhile, it didn't really bother her to see them, but she wanted nothing ot do with them. I am 24 now, and over the summer I finally got her to come out and shoot-and she even adopted my Ruger Security-Six 4", after a run-in with some unpleasant fellows while they were up in the hills riding horseback.

It took six years, but the gradual exposure finally took hold. We went from not being able to look a them to actually firing and possessing one. I just gently oushed them on her until the fear melted away. This is easier, IMO, with less evil-looking arms. People with hoplophobia seem to get much less rattled aound wood and blue deer rifles than AR'2 and the like.

Just be gentle about it, and she'll come around.
 
My ex-girlfriend used to hate the airsoft guns I had at the time. I told her that if she would hold one I would let her shoot me from behind. Needless to say she wasn't afraid of them after that.

Try making a game out of the guns, like going to a range. She may still hate them, but she will probably be more tolerant of them. Also, praise safety with guns around her.

Now if I could only get my current girlfriend to understand my obsession...
 
You're Lucky. My parents were like that, plus they were antis. I could really never get them to even touch a gun. My dad had shot one once, but he never did after that.

I would some how find a way to mix guns with one of her hobbies. Or take her to the range one day, to shoot a bit, and show her that guns arent ALWAYS ment to kill.
 
Sometimes what is best for others is to respect their wishes. That especially goes for parents. It's not worth alienating them to any degree since they are not replacable. The stronger bad feelings are the longer they take to go away and anything to do with family protection generates very strong feelings.
 
Well....

...after re-reading the first post I think there's a better answer here.

People here seem to be quick to suggest pushing small arms exposure on her, but completely miss the point that somewhere in there is a root cause. If you can calmly and gently expose the root of her issue, you might be able to change the behaviours that are based on it. Just pushing harder at the behavior without understanding it's root will just get things screwed up.

Step 1 - Try to keep them out of her sight. Don't be neurotic about it, but be a little discreet. You'll not get anywhere by keeping her negative feelings at the forefront.

Step 2 - In some neutral, "safe" environment, with your guns nowhere nearby, ask her why it is that your guns cause her such anxiety. Be prepared for a lot of irrational mental linkages and don't try to push "your truth" on her. A little calm discussion at the right time can to wonders. Be ready to stay silent and wait for her to finish her thoughts. No matter how much you may think you know what she is trying to say, you need to let her say it herself. The secret is to pull her negative feelings into the light of day, not shove your point of view at her. With a little luck once she can see why she's reacting like this she'll be able to see how some of her reactions are not entirely logical.

Best!
 
It's not your place, or our's, to convert your mother. She's due more respect than that.

Your concern should be in how to go about safely handling your firearms in her house in such a way that it doesn't bother her. It is her house after all.

Try just having a single part out at any one time such that it doesn't look like you are cleaning a gun. If she walks into the room she may not even recognize it for a gun part. She may not instantly be uncomfortable. Don't be immature and try to bring it to her attention that she was just in the room with a gun or gun part. Just let it be as natural as if you were oiling your baseball glove. While it's unlikely that you'll be there long enough for here to treat the whole as an assemblage of non-threatening parts your obligation to her is to honor her wishes.
 
Run one of those cheap cable locks through the actions of the guns you are not using. That may ease her mind at having them in the house. Some folks imagine that guns just "go off" so maybe the locks will give her peace of mind.
 
I think you should duct tape her into a rocking chair and put a gun duct taped into each hand and keep her there until she begs you to take her to the range!

(I sure hope you all know I'm kidding!!!!)

Actually, I'd say keep the guns out of her sight. Don't talk about them too much. I've been through what your going through, and now, even 40 years later, my mother doesn't want to hear about my shooting.

You're lucky she's letting you keep them i her house. Respect her wishes, and find some other friends to go shooting with.
 
Tell her this: 1). "Knowledge overcomes fear" or 2.)"I respect and love you mom, but guns are a part of my life".

1.) Most people who despise firearms, just like people who are judgemental of Sushi...never gave it a chance. Depending of if she's open to it. I'm very grateful my wife has given firearms a chance. Before she felt they were very dangerous and now, she and I go shooting any chance we can get. All of her openness in me teaching her the purpose and handling of firearms.

2.) Respect her stand on it and share with her your understanding, but reminding her who you are...a patriot for the greatest country.
 
As long as she understands they're locked up safe in the house and when taken out they're used properly & safely, it's all good. ;)
 
Something may have happened

Talk to her over dinner one night and ask her if something happend when she was
younger before getting her in to a situation, If nothing like that educate her on firearms then ask if she would like to go to the range, if she agres make shur you have all the saftey equipment and be paciant dont force once she shoots she will
be hooked.
 
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