How to introduce a handgun into the house with a 14-year old?

[hermannr]

Prof: I must disagree with you. First may I state I started driving (legally, ag license) at 14, so using you analogy, 14 is old enough.

Physical age has little to do with maturity. I have a 40 your old SIL that I do not consider mature. I have know 10 year olds that were very mature in their understanding.

BUT: There is one big thing missing, and as a parent it is very difficult to find becasue we know all of our childrens "lapses"

TRUST BEGETS TRUST.

Remember that. If you want a really good relation with your child (and we have 5 adult daughters so I know...) Trust Begets Trust. When we explain the consiquences of breaching that trust the children learn. Yes, I know some are not trustworthy, but that has nothing to do with age...consider my SIL mentioned above.

Consider your 16 year old that has asked to borrow the family car...you set rules and guideline, they follow them you become looser and looser until they are allowed their own discression. They violate the rules, you restrict...no?

It is all about learning freedom, something a lot of people in the US, especially congress, have lost sight of. Think about congressional gun control in general...what is it? A lack of TRUST in the general population.

Ally, The more you trust your daughter, the more she will trust you, the more she will talk to you about those things most young girls only talk to their best friends about, the more she will want to do things with you...etc...

Our daughters trust their mother explicitly, and always are asking her the most personal questions...isn't that the kind of relationship you really want with your daughter? All starts with, and stems from TRUST.

 

[Ally]

hermannr, FIVE daughters in SIX years?????

I can't even begin to imagine; your house was so estrogen super-charged for so long, I don't know how you made it through in one piece! LOL

But I agree with you. Maturity doesn't not follow linear age. And trusting her is going to be something of a dance as we go along, as it is with all children. I have no idea when she will be mature enough to have access to the gun for self-defense when alone. She may not like guns at all, take the training class with me, and decide she doesn't want to be around it. Or, she might take to guns like ducks to water - get very involved, ask for more training, and demonstrate to me and her instructors that she is interested, educated, and safe around them. Like others have said, some teenagers are more mature than some 50 year olds.

And thanks for the props to LEO's. My life is not put in danger every day I go to work, and I have a high amount of respect for their profession.

Six daughters in five years?

 

[hermannr]

Hej Ally;

Sheila 7/70 (Georgia), Anna 9/71 (Alabama), Heidi 4/73 (Germany), Elsa 9/74 (WA), and Erika 6/76 (WA) about 1979 we also had 2 female dogs and a female cat. Was I out-numbered? I didn't think so...

We are still married (43 years), still love her, and have 13 grandchildren..

And they all know how to shoot!

 

[InkEd]

If I had a 14yr old daughter, I would want her to know how to handle a gun. Especially, if she is going to be home alone! A 9mm to a burglar/rapist's center of mass does alot better job of keeping your child safe than waiting for help to arrive after a crime has already been committed. An unloaded gun is a paperweight. Cable locks are for bicycles not firearms. Get familiar with it and train with it. (IMHO you sound uncomfortable with the weapon. Not a good thing if you plan to ccw.) You need to be comfortable with your gun, in case (God forbid) you actually have to use it!

Somethings ARE a matter of life and death. This is one of them.

 

[sixguns4fighting]

Consider enrolling her into a hunter safety class.

 

[Ally]

(IMHO you sound uncomfortable with the weapon. Not a good thing if you plan to ccw.) You need to be comfortable with your gun, in case (God forbid) you actually have to use it!

Somethings ARE a matter of life and death. This is one of them.

InkEd, no I am not comfortable keeping the gun in my house loaded until I've taken my safety classes, (that my daughter is also enrolled in now) and have received proper defense training.

Loading up the gun willy-nilly just because I own one, seems patently irresponsible to me. Until I learn how to handle the gun to protect myself, it would very possibly only be taken from me and used against me. To me that's just plain dangerous. YMMV.

I went shooting yesterday, put a bunch of rounds through it, and had a great time.

 

[Ally]

Hej Ally;

Sheila 7/70 (Georgia), Anna 9/71 (Alabama), Heidi 4/73 (Germany), Elsa 9/74 (WA), and Erika 6/76 (WA) about 1979 we also had 2 female dogs and a female cat. Was I out-numbered? I didn't think so...

We are still married (43 years), still love her, and have 13 grandchildren..

And they all know how to shoot!

Umm........OMG!!

I'm speechless.

 

[TriTone]

Not to be rude...

*EDIT* Just saw your most recent post, glad you've done the smart thing and enrolled your daughter as well since you dont have the skill set to train her safely. Good choice on your part.
I would recommend a quick access pistol safe for you. You might also seriously consider getting her a .22 rifle to practice basic marksmanship still with, and then a 22 pistol afterwards that can be *hers* if she enjoys shooting the rifle. *hers* in the sense that she knows its hers but you keep it locked up for her

Best of Luck and be safe.

 

[Ally]

Thanks TriTone, I'm glad you didn't have to be rude after all!

Not only do I not have the proper skills and information to train her, I'm also her mother. Mothers are always wrong, this is universal to all 14-year olds.

I think.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to taking the course with her, and I hope she enjoys shooting.

 

[BBQLS1]

Lots of good advice here. I definitely like the "she shouldn't talk about the gun to her friends" bit. It'll be hard for a 14 to keep (as previously mentioned, she forgot), but the less said the better.

As far as kids and guns: http://www.bayoushooter.com/forums/...ry-first-Cowboy-Match-this-weekend-(Pic-Heavy)

 

[TriTone]

Thanks TriTone, I'm glad you didn't have to be rude after all!

Not only do I not have the proper skills and information to train her, I'm also her mother. Mothers are always wrong, this is universal to all 14-year olds.

I think.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to taking the course with her, and I hope she enjoys shooting.

Me too! On both fronts

 

[InkEd]

That WAS my point.
You need to get MORE training.
That goes DOUBLE if you plan to actually CCW.

You MUSt be 100% comfortable and confident in BOTH your weapon and your skill set.

I suggest you visit the Cornered Cat website. It is geared specifically toward women.