I used to believe in “big boredom,” and wrecked my right hand with .44 Magnums and .41 Magnums, fired from N-Frame Revolvers, with my K/L-sized hands, in the Eighties. The conventional wisdom, then, was that one should use something more substantial than 9mm or .38 Special for defense against human opponents. Meanwhile, an NYPD officer named Pat Rogers was working a high-risk unit that concentrated upon catching the worst felons in NYC. He, and his fellow officers, were shooting plenty of bad guys with .38 Special SWC, and getting good results, when the shots were well-placed. (LAPD was getting less-satisfactory results with .38 Special round-nosed lead ammo.) Notice, again, the “well-placed” part. “Uncle Pat” Rogers is no longer with us, but he mentored some authors and trainers who are still active. The knowledge is still out there.
NYPD later switched to the Speer 135-grain Gold Dots. NY Transit Authority was the first to switch, then all of NYPD. They continued to put-down bad guys.
Folks, if there is a “laboratory experiment” for .38 Special shooting results, it is NYC.
I am comfortable with any of the better .38 Special controlled-expansion JHP loads. I load most of my .357 revolvers with the Speer 135-grain Short-Barrel Gold Dots, which are mild for a Magnum, with not much more velocity than the .38 Special version. Only my full-lugged and/or longer-barreled .357 revolvers are loaded with the full-pressure stuff. I don’t want to damage my hands more than they already are. I reckon that the Magnums give me more range, but as most defensive encounters happen up-close, I do not fret if I have .38 in the weapon, at hand.
My spare carry ammo tends to be .38, most of the time, so that it fits into both my .38 and .357 weapons.
On the 9mm side, I generally use Speer Gold Dot 124-grain +P, in my Glocks. Much like my .38 Specials, of course. (Lately, I tend to leave the Glocks at home, as the public health emergency has interfered with my ability to train. My Glock skills are more perishable than my revolving-pistol skills.)
Overall, I consider Speer Gold Dot and Federal HST to be equivalent. I am am not stuck on one brand, and, of course, Speer and Federal are under the same big umbrella, now, anyway.
As for why the hate/disdain for .38 Special, well, some folks just need to hate, or look-down upon something, in order to feel better.