Just when I thought I had made great progress.....

[Harvster]

Over the past few years my wife has gone from thinking that guns in the home will be taken and used against you to getting her CCW permit. We've also talked about some situations that may occur at the house and what we should do. Tonight as I sat reading my favorite little website(THR) my wife goes running through the house in her pajamas and out the door. It took me a second to process the information at which time I thought "that is not quite right" and followed. I grabbed my big Maglite on the way and asked what was up. She tells me that she heard something outside and thought she may have left the dog out and maybe it was coyotes going after the dog. (plausible since we just had a cat taken about two weeks ago). Anyway, turns out the dog was outside and was just squeezing under the fence and making a racket doing it. We get the dog inside and everything is fine. Then I just had to ask "where on the list of situational responses to strange noises at night is running out of the house with nothing but your PJs?" I found it very funny but, at the same time, there is a serious aspect to this that needs to be addressed. So do you fine folks run drills on this stuff? Because just talking about it some didn't work out as well as I had hoped.

 

[JWarren]

Then I just had to ask "where on the list of situational responses to strange noises at night is running out of the house with nothing but your PJs?"

If your wife is like mine, your delivery could probably use some improvement.

Jenn and I have talked about this stuff before as well.

[Stereotype Warning]

I don't think that your wife or mine is less interested in situational awareness and responses. But...

Sometimes I think that the women in our lives are less likely to jump to the conclusion that there may be something amiss. I've seen this in all the women in my life (Mom, Sister, Mother-in-Law, Jenn's Sister-in-Law, etc.)

Statistically, they are right. The odds are that a noise outside is an animal or such. But as I tell Jenn... statistics are dangerous. Statistically, it is unlikely that we will have to defend ourselves in our homes. But if you are not prepared IF you do, the game is over.

While I appreciate her confidence in me, her response is that "I don't have to worry as much about that. I have you."


-- John

 

[Picard]

Chances are she hasn't thought these situations through. Sit down and talk to her about these things. It's your responsibility to teach her good situational awareness in case she ever did need to protect her own life.

You have made great progress but your job isn't done yet.

 

[hso]

So do you fine folks run drills on this stuff?

Yes

How else would you prepare for a problem?

 

[xsquidgator]

Quote:
So do you fine folks run drills on this stuff?
Yes

How else would you prepare for a problem?

I wish. I too went from a not-very-enthusiastic wife to having her get her own CCW. However she (imo) doesn't take it strictly enough. Once a guy on foot tried to get in her car while she was stopped at a light, and her CCW .38 was locked up in the glove compartment. Wouldn't have been much good in the glovebox even if it had been unlocked. And, it's kind of hard to get the key to unlock it when it's in the ignition with the motor running. Fortunately she was able to drive away.

A week after this little scare I noticed she's still putting her .38 in a locked glove box, or it'll be in her purse behind 3 other things in the back seat behind her. :banghead:

And, I got an angry response when I tried to point this out as gently and tactfully as I could. You're going to get an earful if your remarks or questions threaten someone's ability to stay in denial. I got the same attitude somewhat from her when I got a few things for hurricane preparedness like 5 gal gas cans, a 5 gal water can, that kind of thing.

I really think most women are just hardwired differently along the lines JWarren said. I was on a submarine in the Navy and we practiced (drilled) all the time for the various things that could go wrong, be it fires, flooding, radiation problem, torpedos incoming, whatever. Doing it a number of times in a practice run first is the only way to be able to do it for real when you need to.

I'm just happy that at least she recognized that she might need a CCW someday and did go and get it, even if she doesn't approach it quite as I would like her to.

 

[Harvster]

I didn't intend nor do I want this to be a man vs. woman thing. I think of it as more of a person's environment and upbringing. Both of my wife's parents are from New York, and I do not think they have ever held a gun in their lives. The police have always been their only means of protection. But the wife is a smart woman and saw the legitimacy of being prepared. Though I guess we still need to tweak some things.

 

[JWarren]

I didn't intend nor do I want this to be a man vs. woman thing.

Oh, I agree. Nor did I want my comment to make it one.

But I do make observations. All of the cited persons in my life have been raised in very pro-gun environments. But they ALSO have been raised in envirionments where Home Defense has typically been in the responsibilities of the male.

So, I do not deny that there well could be an envirionmental aspect to my observations.


I do want to make one thing clear about my comments, however.

People make observations regarding gender roles all the time. Read any women's magazine and you will see the same thing regarding men. TIME magazine had a front cover article last year stating that there ACTUALLY were differences between the sexes.

I suppose what I am saying is that I am not afraid to make an observation that some may see as against the rules of PC. Whatever the reason-- genetic disposition, environment, gender roles in childhood-- I do see that we men are a bit more ... uhm... enthusiastic when hearing a bump in the night than our counterparts.

At least that's what I've typically seen.


-- John

 

[Kentucky Kernel]

My wife has said the exact same thing as Jwarren's: Why should she worry when she is always with me? To be honest, sometimes I am out of town or working late, so it is not accurate for my wife (whom I adore) to assume that I can be there 100% of the time.

In addition, she USED to use the statistical argument and say that it was not likely that something would happen on those few nights I was away. Then (and bear with me, it is relevant), the docs found a rare tumor in her chest. Long story short: surgery, long hospital stays, etc etc. She is fine now, but has finally accepted that statistics mean squat. She had essentially little statistical chance of getting cancer, but got a rare (and highly treatable, thank God) form. So, back to self defense. If the stats say there is a 1 in a million chance of a home invasion, that ONE home may be ours. My wife has warmed to the idea that home defense is a 24/7 responsibility, and she has also started practising with the 20 gauge.

Cheers

KK

 

[guntotinguy]

So do you fine folks run drills on this stuff?

Yes,we are always runing drills for anything from home invasions to SHTF to 'what to do' in the middle of the night,'back-up',to what guns to grab,who calls 911...etc.It always helps to 'be in tune' with each other...and it doesnt hurt to be prepared.

Besides 'senarios' we practice at least 'once a week',we have code words for various situations,etc.

 

[dralarms]

My wifes answer to something out side is "go check it out, I'll hold here". I do not want her out running around the yard at night for anything, If something is out there I have camera's and we can see what's going on with out comprimizing our safety, If it warrants I will go check it out and she will "hunker down" and wait for my return. She is a good shot and I alwasy make sure she knows it's me coming back in.

 

[tmajors]

Just the other night I was in my office with my headphones on so I couldn't hear anything. My wife was in bed on the opposite end of the house. Heard talking IN THE HOUSE that was neither her nor me.

Wife gets out of bed comes into the office to ask if I was talking. I said no (still not knowing anything was wrong because she does this sort of thing frequently). Then she promptly goes outside in nothing but her nightgown. ARRRG!

Like you I grab my flashlight and follow.

No biggy really turns out. Apparently neighbors were outside talking in their driveway close enough for their voices to be picked up through the window mounted AC unit and into the baby monitor...thereby broadcasting their conversation over the whole house.

Still like you though my wife went to investigate an unknown disturbance without a flashlight, in only her nightgown, and unarmed in any way.

 

[Clipper]

So when you followed her outside, were you armed with anything more long-range and lethal than a flashlight??

 

[tmajors]

So when you followed her outside, were you armed with anything more long-range and lethal than a flashlight??

Said I was in my office didn't I? I don't take the gun off my hip till I take my pants off for bed.

 

[Grandpa Shooter]

This interests me because I have a similar set of circumstances. I have taught my lady to shoot and she has her own gun. I am continually aware of the "normal" sights and sounds of our daily life. It is something I cannot turn off. The VA calls it "hypervigilance" which I guess is as good a name as any.

I rarely get a whole nights sleep due to this condition. My lady on the other hand can and does sleep through just about anything. I wake up with a start and she only wakes up as a reaction to me moving and reaching for the bedside stand. In our house, I am the responder, and that is how it should be due to my being aware of the "right or wrong" sights and sounds.

When I was rooming with my good friend, also a "Nam" vet, we agreed that should something arise, he would stay in his bedroom and not move unless he heard my voice. He stated he didn't care to get shot. I am the more capable of the two and it worked well for us back then. When I go down to visit and stay, the arrangement still goes. He takes backup

I think it boils down to who is better equipped to deal with a situation, not male or female. I have known quite a few women to whom I would gladly defer the first responder status. I wouldn't tangle with them in any circumstance.

 

[mbt2001]

Take classes or teach her some team tactics, talk about it from that perspective, you might get her thinking in a different vein. Once you start thinking about movement, cover, and what not, then you tend to alter your tactics. If is like math class from high school. Once you see where you are going to use something in "real life" then you learn it.