Sadly, some of this insanity isn't new. There were teachers and admins at the schools I went to back in the 60's and early 70's that were nearly as bad as the kooks doing the "zero-intelligence" stuff today. My mother was called at home for such earth shattering events as when ai tossed my lunch in the trash and went to a restaurant almost right next door to the school, when my friends and I "edited' Weekly Reader articles using "dirty" words, and the best one, when I started a lawn mower in the lunch room (I had bet and lost, that it wouldn't start after sitting all winter) for maybe 4 seconds. My mother's reaction? "Don't you have something better to do than worry about this nonsense all the time?" Her hostility shut them down real quick. The most stupid thing said was by the principal who told us that a "Lawn mower is very dangerous!". We were 12 year olds, and all of us had used them before. We looked at him like he was totally insane, and I kind of think he was. When he was "grilling" us about the Weekly Reader nonsense, he asked us if our parents took us to bars! What 12 year old doesn't know those words?
My friend's kid was been "busted" for "fighting" with his best friend, when they were just fooling around. They walked in together, pushed each other around, laughing all the time. The one kid gets a nosebleed if he gets looked at the wrong way, and on the security tape, he's plainly seen laughing as the blood starts dripping. The principal calls the cops, who arrest them for violating "The safe schools act", cuff them up and take the two desperados to Juvy Hall, where they totally fall apart. The parents show up and finally get them home. The school wants to suspend them for either 14 or 30 days, I can't remember which, and wanted to make them go to a special school on the other side of town. To keep this from being really long, it took the threat of showing the entire incident on TV to get the school board to back down and drop the whole matter, after giving them a "One day in school suspension". They moved to another school district, where a relative is on the board, because the kid was "marked" as a troublemaker by the school admins.
Another friend's insanely well behaved daughter was grilled relentlessly when she was "busted" for taking a little tiny set of screwdrivers out of her purse to tighten the bow screws on her glasses. The screws kept loosening up, even after loctite was used on them (I have the same problem), so her dad told her to take them with her, not expecting the teacher to freak out, and call the principal down who called the police. While waiting for the cops to come, the principal and guidance counselor said all kinds of crazy stuff to her, about "weapons", etc. When the police came (another friend of mine), he looked at the screwdriver (about 2" long) and said "So where is the weapon?, all I see is a tiny screwdriver!" He had to explain that they had no cause to do any of the stuff they did, and that they need to get "control of themselves". About then, her dad shows up, and gets into it with the principal, who's trying to tap dance her way out of everything. He ends up asking to borrow her pen, and he took it and stabbed it into her desk blotter and said, "That's a weapon!", and walked out. The principal wanted him to get arrested. My policeman friend just looked at her, and said, "You need a new career, you've lost your mind!!", and walked out. The principal got so much heat over that and a couple of other incidents, she was transferred to another school, and made vice principal there, a defacto demotion. She retired a few days ago.
Speaking of weapons, we ALL had pocket knives back then! From the age of 10 or so, I had at least one, usually two with me at all times. I can't think of any boy that didn't have one. Somehow, we all survived and nobody was ever stabbed with a knife, pen, OR screwdriver!
I would hate to be in school now, I feel sorry for all the kids who have to put up with the nonsensical stuff they do now.