MicroBalrog
member
From Newsmax
Pistol-Packin' Liberals
Tom Marsland
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Liberals have it tough. Many liberals smoke, but hate big tobacco; drink, but belong to M.A.D.D.; vote, but want the courts to overturn elections; drive their automobiles, even to protests against internal combustion engines; are patients of tremendous doctors, in a health-care system they say is broken; enjoy virtually every aspect of freedom, while denouncing its guarantor, our military.
As if it weren’t tough enough living in the world of contradictions necessitated by liberalism, ‘conceal-carry’ reform comes along and throws a real wrench into their thinking. Will they, too, want to arm themselves while still somehow decrying the existence of firearms?
That was answered for me this past week when I attended the daylong basic handgun-training course put on by Minneapolis-based Plus P Technology (www.plusp.com). I was amazed at the liberal background of several of my fellow attendees, liberals who want to exercise their right to self-defense too.
Left-leaning Minnesota has just drifted right, becoming the 35th state to allow the Second Amendment to function closer to its original intent. Minne-soviet, as we’ve affectionately come to call her, has just passed the ‘conceal-carry’ reform legislation I just referred to, legislation that guarantees the right of law-abiding citizens to arm themselves against the ongoing threat of harm from our non-law-abiding citizenry. Folks who have always been well armed, and unfortunately they are legion.
Remarkable, I thought, as our new governor, a friend of mine named Tim Pawlenty, signed this legislation into law. The only caveat I was suffering under was the questionable provision that made this liberal guarantee available to 'all the people.'
When I, your humble correspondent, asked my fellow basic handgun course attendees "How many of you consider yourselves to be liberal?" I thought none, maybe one or two, would respond in the affirmative. But NOOOO … fully one-third of Plus P Technology students raised their hands. Plus P's director of training, Mike Wolbrink, said this was a "normal" class.
Now in this jaded age, I’ve come to think of normal as a setting on a Maytag dishwasher. Further, I thought raising your hand in a handgun class and admitting you’re a liberal was like Daniel wearing a Purina Lion Chow T-shirt when entering the lion’s den.
Back to the ‘all the people’ provision in the new law. That is not a very liberal concept, as you may be aware, and we from the Land of 10,000 Taxes get properly nervous when straying off liberal holy ground into uncharted constitutional waters.
But whoever it was that said liberals aren’t 'straight shooters' (thought you'd like that double entendre) ought to apologize to a gaggle of tree-hugging, crystal-gazing, incense-sniffing, "Kumbaya"-singing, 'PC' lefties from the People's Republic of Minnesota!
Ah heck, while you’re at it, throw in a big old group hug for them (just make sure it’s adequately diverse and multicultural).
Though liberals in Minnesota can compete with the best that Berkeley has to offer, I am still a little stunned. At some point they'll surely have to deal with the hypocrisy demonstrated by supporting the anti-gun politics of the late Sen. Paul Wellstone, may God rest his soul, and now celebrating (liberals like to 'celebrate' stuff) one’s right to have and bear a firearm.
Believe it or not, this is very provocative in our beloved socialist utopia, and it may indeed be taking things just a bit too far. Before you know it, we may have to relent, allowing such nonsensical freedoms as religion, speech, the press, peaceful assembly and petition.
Perhaps even ownership of private property, presumption of innocence for the accused, protection from unreasonable search and seizure, freedom from self-incrimination, a speedy and impartial trial by a jury of your peers, and even representation by counsel.
You see how this could get out of control?
Now why would I, a dyed-in-the-wool member of the vast right-wing conspiracy, make such a call for this kind of unabashed outpouring of conservative affection for our estranged pistol-packin' liberal brethren?
I am congratulating them on discovering the Second Amendment, a heretofore rarely exercised liberal principle, originally guaranteed them in 1792 and held in trust for them by conservatives until 2003. Now please, allow me to say on behalf of all conservatives: "Welcome to the good ship U.S. Constitution!"
Tom Marsland is a former heavyweight wrestler, corporate CEO & Minneapolis radio talk show host. Tom is the U.S. correspondent on New Zealand's Radio Rhema and writes cultural, political & religious commentary for the Assist News Service, NewsMax.com, Minnesota Christian Chronicle and others. E-mail Tom at [email protected].
