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If she like the feel of the 9mm go that route I think Ruger and Smith both made a small frame revolver in 9mm Ruger SP101 and I dont remember the Smith model Look at one of them.
Though probably not an option the best gun I've shot so far for low recoil with a decent bullet was a Calico 9mm I owned a few years back. It really was like shooting a .22 instead of a 9mm, a genuine pleasure to shoot and though a little heavy with the 50 round magazine it balanced well due to the placement. I really do miss that damn gun.
I think you are on the right track. SP101, one of the Ruger Six models or a K frame, 3" barrel+. Great first guns. I've found that most people (that want to) could work up to midrange 357 loads in an medium frame 357 quickly. To my way of thinking, better to have the capability and not use it.
The best thing to do would be to let her try various revolvers. Some ranges have rental guns, but that isn't available to everyone. Lots of shooters are willing to let you try their guns. Where do you live?
i'll join the chorus... if she can handle the weight and likes the feel, a model 10 (and, hopefully, a matching k22/m17/m18) may well be in her future.
i've got a lady friend with a muscle condition. range trips are interesting... most times, i have to rack her xd9 for her. she usually shoots a magazine (or part of a magazine), and then goes back to her trailside.
first time she fired 38s through my model 13, she turned around and said "this is easy!" two and a half pounds of steel makes for soft recoil... but she can't hold it up for long, and can't safely cock the hammer herself (to say nothing of double action shooting, despite the really nice trigger on that thing).
it all comes down to what works for your wife. every shooter is different, and doubly so for women
While I don't recommend it for the range, in a pinch she could place the slide against her raised shoe and rack in with a downward push. Some folks use their (thick & stiff) leather belt. It's a survival shooting technique.
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