There are no universal rules here, but you might be surprised how often you don't need the expander ball at all. I agree that it is often the problem in sizing because it can pull the shoulder out just a little bit when it does its job. That is simple physics. Not the fault of the die maker really. In most cases, it's because the cases are not the same thickness of brass in the wall. Just think about it. The main part of the sizing die works from the outside, assumes the brass is a certain thickness, so it shoves it in from the outside, figuring that the inside diameter will be pretty close to what it's supposed to be. Most times that is mighty close. But if you have some thicker walled brass, then the inside diameter is too narrow. So the job of the expander ball is to take care of that if necessary. So as you pull the case out, it expands it to whatever it needs to be. Fine, but if it needs to expand your brass quite a bit, it HAS to pull against something and if the friction is too much then the result is your shoulder gets stretched a little bit.
You can sand or grind the expander ball down a bit to avoid that. Works fine, but your inside diameter will be a tiny bit smaller than "ideal". No matter. When you seat the bullet, the bullet acts as the expander and forges its own path. It is its own expander ball then but pushing "down" instead of pulling "up" like the expander ball. Basically the same as just taking the expander ball out completely. Either solution works out very well most all the time. Once in a very great while, that inside diameter will still be too small for the bullet to start without shaving some of it off. But that's why we chamfer the mouths of cases though. That is nearly always enough.
Another solution to get the bullets seated though if you just remove the expander ball to avoid its problems. If normal chamfering is not enough to get the bullet started, get a Universal Expanding Die (very cheap). Make sure you understand how to use it. Just expand the very top of the case by a very very small amount. We are talking a couple thousandths at most. Just enough for the bullet to seat without shaving.
But it's easy to "blame" the expander ball or the whole sizing die, when the real culprit is the variation of the thickness of the walls of the brass case.