(Non Fatal) Darwin Candidate

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iapetus

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http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,175-1158242,00.html


Prison for drunk who shot off testicles
By Adam Fresco



A MAN accidentally shot himself in the testicles with a sawn-off shotgun after putting it in his pocket ready to confront a friend after a drunken argument.

And to add insult to injury David Walker, 28, who had both testicles removed after the accident, now faces five years in jail after admitting possessing a prohibited weapon at Sheffield Crown court.

Andrew Hatton, for the prosecution, said Walker had drunk 15 pints of beer when he got into an argument at a pub with a friend.

He went home to collect the single-barrelled shotgun and put it in his pocket before going back to the pub. But as he walked along the street, the gun went off.

Gulzar Syed, for Walker, said his client had suffered permanent medical disability from the accident and will require further surgery to remove pellets from his leg.

Sentencing was adjourned for medical reports and Walker was remanded in custody.

Judge Patrick Robertshaw told him: “You face a sentence of custody and it’s very likely it will be five years.â€

Walker had been due to stand trial on charges of possessing a firearm with intent to endanger life or to cause fear or violence, but the charges were not proceeded with.
 
Yep, that's a Darwin all right - certainly removed himself from the gene pool! Also, I guess that if both testicles went South, the third leg also got itself removed - if not ballistically, then surgically...

:what:
 
possessing a firearm with intent to endanger life or to cause fear or violence

Possessing a firearm to cause fear is a crime????

:uhoh: :uhoh: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :scrutiny: :scrutiny:

So if I were afraid of the guy in the manor down the road with a blunderbuss on the wall, I could get it taken away from him and get him locked up?

Man, I can't believe I share ancestry with these yahoos and that only a hundred and fifty years separate me and my american kin from those milquetoasts.

Keith
 
pignock...

You must remember that those folks "over there" have had thousands of years to "melt down". While many/most of our folks saw what was coming they broke away. As a result we tend to hang on to older beliefs and ways.

'Course time marches on... may by time we have 5-600 years on us we'll be "milky" too - unless we keep the torch lighted, the voices strong, and the backbone straight.

/IB
 
Cacique500
I thought private gun ownership in the UK was against the law?

Well, when guns are outlawed, only drunk stupid owtlaws carry them in their pocket in such a way as to blow their bits off.

(Although some guns are legal, with permision, including shotguns. But not sawn off ones like his. Which was probably black market in the first place).



quote:possessing a firearm with intent to endanger life or to cause fear or violence

Possessing a firearm to cause fear is a crime????

So if I were afraid of the guy in the manor down the road with a blunderbuss on the wall, I could get it taken away from him and get him locked up?

I'm sure that just means you can't use it to threaten people with (as he was planning to).
 
Hm. "Sawn-off shotgun" in pants pocket. Could this have been one of those little .410 "pistols" that were (are?) on the market?
 
Could this have been one of those little .410 "pistols"

That's what I'm thinking ... a 410 pistol.

I have a hard enough time carrying a snubnose amongst the other day to day items. I can't imagine carrying a shotgun in a pocket!

:rolleyes:hmmm.. I wonder who makes a pocket holster for a shotgun..:D

maybe it was one of those ultra concealable "tactical" holsters from Blackhawk!....:D just kiddin'
 
While his genes can't spread into the gene pool, the young man still walks among us.

It was a worthy effort, but I would vote for "Honorable Mention, Dawin Award," with a silver leaf cluster.

Judges, what say you?
 
!!

'Course time marches on... may by time we have 5-600 years on us we'll be "milky" too - unless we keep the torch lighted, the voices strong, and the backbone straight.

At least I won't be around to see it.

Put a shotgun in your pants and walk down the street towards an argument. Good plan! This guy definitely deserves Darwin Award status.
 
Latest Darwin Awards

ANNUAL DARWIN AWARDS:
Yes, they are finally out again. It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing himself in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it. And the nominees this year in reverse order are:
7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.
6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad restle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.
2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
AND THE WINNER.....
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his foursome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles were in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.
PS: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, it was allowed.
 
"one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside."

....:banghead: ...That'll leave a mark..Damn....:eek:
 
Well, y'know.... 6 billion people around now, isn't it? Pretty safe to say that anything unusual, sickening, or unimaginable either has, is, or will be happening, especially considering it's 6 billion that are around *now*.
 
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