Parking Lots & Shopping

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Between black coffee, and shiftn' gears
A local radio news station reported victims at parking lots were being victimized by "well dressed" and "nice people" assisting them getting groceries, and other packages into vehicles.

So I guess it is time to once again review for the new folks, and to remind us all of parking lots and shopping in general.

My concerns have always been entering, exiting a structure, answering the door, and for me, "vehicles" are included.

The reality is, and not just our international members, we are all subject to being "restricted" at times, in regard to weapons. Be these weapons firearms, knives, pepper sprays, or what have you.

So while we practice:
Don't go where trouble is, leave if trouble shows up, and have the mindset, skill sets to use whatever tools to effectively deal with the threat.

The reality is, we are going to be out and about, taking care of ADLs ( activities of daily living) such as going to the grocery store, drug store, hardware store, doctor appointments, and so forth, and so on.

Parking Lots are just flat dangerous. The bigger they are, the more dangerous.
Just getting to and from vehicle and store, can be "interesting" all by oneself. Add kids, or elderly, or other "factors" and the potential for problems and "distractions" go up, and thus certain models of criminals have even more of a chance of making a crime successful.

-. Don't go to the mall, or big "mart" stores.
Besides the fact we have Internet, we have small "dollar" stores, for toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, and cleaning supplies. Local mom-n-pop stores such as hardware stores are great for supporting the local economy, getting more personalized service, and a wealth of information (tips-n-tricks) for free.

Kids, elderly, and especially physically limited persons, with handicapped hang tags, that can park right at the storefront, make getting to and from one's vehicle not only safer, also less hassle.

Groceries and other packages are still carried out for patrons, at some of these smaller stores.
Some will even home deliver, if one is sick, or recovering from surgery, including Drug Stores.
(Have a code worked out for this, more about this later perhaps)
 

Communication is the key.

If alone, "communicate" to everyone, especially criminals, you are alert, on the ball, confident and have your wits about you.

Kids, should be parented, mentored and have quality practice in "behavior" when out, and this includes some codewords. Yes, kids are kids, and they go through various stages of developments, and it is said boys do not fully develop until age 18 and girls until age 16.
(which scares parents with kids learning to drive / driving as that part of the brain dealing with judgment, is not full developed)

Kids are kids. They get hungry, fussy, and need naps. They get bored and excited when out shopping. They have peer groups, and pressures which means they do not want to be seen with parents, or do not want to be seen and spoken to by some "other" kids, while they get all excited and giddy seeing "bestest" friends.

Let us be honest. At some stages of developments, kids view parents as being the dumbest human beings on Earth. Hopefully, at some point in time, the kids want to know when parents had time to attend night school and became so smart...

This is where aunts, uncles, grandparents for instance, can get kids to take some personal responsibility for themselves, where parents cannot. Sometimes it is a "mentor" , a non-family member. Perhaps a coach in a sport, or leader in a Scout program, or 4-H instructor, or even Martial Arts.

The bottom line is, kids need guidance until they reach ages/stages of developments where they can effectively take on more responsibility, and one day be able to take care of themselves.

Instill some discipline. One can share how serious "behaving" out and about is, without scaring a child. Kids are not dumb. If one finds out what makes their kid(s) "click" with learning serious stuff, these timeless lessons can be not only fun, also be "quality time", games, challenges, or competitions.

i.e "mom when that kid threw a fit, that distraction could have made it easier for a bad guy to snatch her purse, huh?



Common sense will tell one to take a well rested, and fed kid, out shopping, and not a fussy, hungry one.
One might as well accept, kids are going to "have to go to the bathroom" and "have to get a drink of water from the water fountain". It is what kids do, we all did it, so why should your kids be denied?

So you have to have plans in place in dealing with kids, bathrooms, diaper changing, water fountains and the like.

Involve the kid(s).
Even a 3 year old, can, and will surprise you. Sit down and explain to the kid(s) are going to plan a meal, with a budget. Oh, they get to help fix it, and clean up too.
They are "involved", and "being big people" and their focus is on getting the stuff, and "all about it".
Do this right, and the kid will be a big help, not a brat, and not something to allow a criminal to peg you as the frustrated, distracted adult.

One of my "moments" being the "adopted uncle" was the little girl that was going to have "chores".
She was going to be responsible for cleaning the bathroom, for starters. So we sat down and got a list of cleaning tools, and supplies.

This little darling was 2 1/2 years old.
( forget the fact she had just turned two, the "half" part starts right after the candles are blown out in case you did not know... *wink*)
I will neither confirm or deny she was "something else", or as often referred to: TERRIBLE TWO!
Note: for the record, never have I said, I was smart.
*what-was-i-thinking*

So she was a perfect little angel, really. It only took umpteen-bazillon stops (it seems) to get just so-so stuff like toilet bowl brushes, kid sized broom/mop, sponges, and yes, stickers.
She was into bows.

Do you realize how difficult it is to get the right bows, to match those on dresses, and the ones that match hair bows, to put on stuff, including cleaning stuff?
FWIW, this all goes out the window by age 4, as they hate bows (especially pink ones) and get into "grunge mode".

I kid you not, his child was the most well behaved, aware of surroundings, and really a big help, to her mom ( single mom) after she got involved, and had a part in shopping, and planning. She gets bigger, and takes on the role of mentor to littler kids.

The point being, kids are human beings too. They are no more a pain in the backside than spouses, or grandparents, or aunts and uncles. One just has to get down to their level, find what makes them click.

Oh, there is nothing like a kid screaming "moOOM!" or da-DEE!" or noOOO! to get everybody's attention, and this can be a practiced plan to assist the parent/adults to danger, or distract a criminal, or summon help.
 
Coincidentally, I was stopping by a local restaurant this afternoon for a co-workers "farewell." This particular restaurant was in a strip mall near a big box store.

While looking for a parking space I observed a lone, shabbily dressed, female milling about. Pulling into my stall, I observed her speaking to one driver and then turn her focus towards me. Inevitably, I was about to get the, "I'm stranded and on my way to who knows where. Can I get a few bucks?"

While familiar to many of us, I always have a pre-determined plan worked out and pay close attention to not only the person approaching me, but others that may be around. In this instance I saw what appeared to be an out of place vehicle idling two lanes over, occupied by two males.

As I exited I immediately went to the opposite side of my vehicle, keeping it between myself and the approaching female. Politely saying words to the effect of, "I can't help today" before she even had the chance to speak, I was placing her on notice before she got too close. I continued to make frequent eye contact with the occupants of the nearby vehicle.

Reaching the front door of the restaurant, I turned around and stopped to watch. It was obvious to her that I was watching as she approached two other drivers. Apparently not wanting an audience, she walked over to the occupied vehicle (imagine that) and they drove away.

This story is meant as nothing more than a reminder, just as the post above. Some things to consider:

1) If there's one, there's probably two, or three.
2) Maintain consistent and constant awareness of your surroundings, long before you exit your vehicle.
3) Keep obstacles between yourself and those you would rather not have personal contact with.
4) Make it known that you are aware of their presence and cut them off early. If they continue to approach, you are even more assured that they are up to no good.
5) Have a plan. Implement that plan. Prepare for deviations.
6) Refrain from being confrontational but assert yourself so as not to appear an easy target.

Just some things to think about in the world we live.
 
When approached by someone, anyone in a parking lot, I immediately tell them not to come any closer. At the same time my hand is going to or close to my firearm
 
I'm not the trusting type and am not friendly to strangers.

I neither ask for nor accept "assistance" from strangers.

I don't let strangers get too close to me in situations where they could be dangerous.
 
I was in the parking lot of a mall last November, returning to my vehicle. I saw a guy, probably in his 30's getting into his SUV. I walked in his direction and said "Excuse me sir" loud enough for him to hear me. He was already in his vehicle and was about to close the door. He leaned out, saw me, said something about not having any money for me, and slammed and locked the door quickly.

As he put his car into reverse and pulled out, the coffee cup he had set on the roof of his car and forgot about, which I fully intended on reminding him of, fell forward and covered his windshield and hood in coffee.
 
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Love the coffee story!!:D

Long, long ago I worked as a bagger at a grocery store, and our duties included taking the customers' groceries to their vehicles and loading them. We also kept the riff-raff out of the parking lot. Sadly, not many stores provide the service anymore, as they have to raise the prices slightly to cover the labor costs, and in this economy people are watching their spending very closely.

Thankfully, there is a full-service store in the city where my mother lives, and she shops there for that reason.
 
I'm not the trusting type and am not friendly to strangers.

I neither ask for nor accept "assistance" from strangers.

I don't let strangers get too close to me in situations where they could be dangerous.
Click to expand...
Exactly the rules that I operate by when out and about. I had an 'odd' experience with a panhandler staring me down while I had my dually at a local car wash. He'd walk close, up to the end of the building, then when I would look at him to let him know I knew he was there he would retreat to the other side of the parking lot. This repeated 3x times. i don't visit that particular car wash anymore because the attendant said there was nothing he could do.
 
A friend of mine had his phone stolen in a paeking lot in Atlanta. If memory serves me it was a Best Buy. He said he was in his car on the way out of the parking lot when a well-dressed man ran up and told him to call 911 due to there being a hit and run in the parking lot. When my friend pulled his phone out the guy grabbed it through the window and took off running through the parking lot.

My friend said he couldn't see anything from the direction that the man came from (no crowds forming, people yelling or anything of that nature) that should have been his first warning. He also shouldn't have let his window all the way down to talk to the stranger, you can hear fine through a small crack or with the window all the way up. He said the guy looked like a clean cut guy and his appearance didn't set off any alarms.
 
I sure am glad we live in the country.
We are friendly to strangers and there is always someont to get help from.
Pulling cars from the ditch in the winter is a common thing as is giving or getting a ride home if someone has too many beers.
My preference is always be prepaired have the phone, knife and .40 on hand if needed.
Using whatever is necessary to put a car kill deer in the freezer is not uncommon here.
City travel is another matter and we must always be alert and go by gut feelings.
 
I would say we should always be alert & go by gut feelings wherever we are.

It is interesting that you should discuss children in all of this sm. While I owned guns for hunting & kept a couple of handguns around I never really felt the need to carry until I had children. I learned a long time ago to pay attention & avoid problems. But after having children & realizing that when you have a woman & a couple of small kids with you it is very difficult to move quickly I decided to start carrying.
 
Elderly & Physically Limited

Being out and about by one's self, differs from being out with others. I have mentioned kids, but now will bring up the elderly, and physically limited.

Models of criminals not only prefer easy prey, also certain types of easy prey. Kids, females, elderly, physically limited, etc.

Now while we respect the fact, the elderly, and physically limited do feel "less independent" just due to age, and not being able to do what they once could, we have to be honest with ourselves, and them, about staying safe.

One example is the handicapped hang tags. Now most of the time, one is allowed to use that hang tag, on another vehicle, with the "handicapped" person with you. So it might be best to use YOUR vehicle, with their hang tag, when out and about. Simple matter is, you can drive your vehicle better than theirs. ADD, if you have others with you, then maybe, it might be best to let the elderly/physically limited out near the entrance, then go park the vehicle. You may choose to NOT use handicapped parking. Yes, criminals do pay attention to handicapped and "expected/new mom" designated parking areas.

No need to advertise, any more than one has to. Meaning advertise one is taking prudent steps to stay safe, and not advertising any more vulnerabilities one has to.

Physically Limited vehicles (vans) present a whole new set of challenges to be dealt with.
If you have not ever instructed these folks, or in training, actually been in a wheelchair, then had to enter/exit one of these vehicles, do so.

I assure you it will open your eyes to so much. I also assure you it will educate you on situational awareness, carry methods, choices and so much more.

Being honest, I got "dead" three times in row in such exercises, the first time, I was assisting these physically limited in wheel chairs and in physically limited vehicles, with lifts.

The truth is, one often learns more from the student, than the student learns from the instructors. I sure did that day!
 
I travel all over the States, use all kinds of parking lots, usually in the evening, have been approached hundreds of times and have never had a problem. Not once.

Be friendly, decline to give handouts if you like (I always say 'sorry, I don't have any extra cash').

Don't live a life of fear.
 
Some of the tactics I use fairly consistantly are...

Park inconviently, this prevents getting crowded, and ending up trapped between vehicles. It also allows for a greater field of view around the parking lot.

Drives my wife nuts but I all ways back in or pull through, allows for a simpler and safer egress.

When my wife is placing our toddler in the car seat I stand at the end of the vehicle to watch area around us, prevents surprises. I don't allow people to approach our vehicle while we are getting in and out of it or loading it.

When approached in a parking lot, I try to initiate contact or failing that I respond with a "question of concern". Its disarming, and non confrontational, but tells the other party that you are aware of them and capable of taking care of yourself. While doing this my hands are always in the upper center line of my chest and in motion. (talking with my hands)
 
I go to wally world all the time. Some times late at night. I live in a decent area so i am not to worried. In bad areas i would avoid it but you have to live life and not be afraid all the time.
 
A tip of the hat once again to "sm" for posting "Important Life Lessons, as Taught by Steve".

Something else, folks...we ARE approaching 'The Holidays', and times are desperate for many people. I have already noticed an uptick in armed & strong-arm robbery, smash-n-grab, etc reports on The Nooz...keep you eyes & ears open...I want to see you again after Jan 1, 2011.

When I would go visit Mom (now deceased), I would insist on driving MY car, but would use her handicapped 'Hang Tag' instead of her car w/Handicapped Plates
 
Pick-Pockets

The radio shared recently, an increase in pick-pockets in not only parking lots, also as one enters/exits a store, and in the store.

Now once again I am about to get fussed at, but hey, what is new? *wink*

I. HATE. WALLETS.

Now I go back before credit cards, the first ones I had were Diner's Club and Carte Blanc. No debit cards, no ATMs, and none of this stupid "shopper's card" stuff going on. These are the grocery store and similar cards, where one "gets a discount" on purchases.

[Then again I think coupons and rebates are a stupid idea, just price the darn stuff as it should be, and this will save some monies, and time on having to process all this nonsense!]

Even so, models of criminals DO pay attention to a guy to see if he has a wallet, and especially when he retrieves it, for any reason.
Not just any money he has, also identification, Social Security Card, and...which hand he uses.
Not all models of criminals are dumb. Remember they often have "more hours of training" in their craft, than good guys do.

Strong hand can be determined by which hand goes for a wallet, and how money/cards/identification are handles, and "cinched" by which hand he writes with, in signing a credit card receipt or similar.

So now the criminals ( we remembered there is usually more than one, correct?) now know which is the intended target's strong hand. So any "defensive" moves, more than likely will be with that hand, and criminals also know to "watch hands" and other body language.

Hence the reason I was raised to use weak side, and this includes firearms on weak side and being able to use them effectivley weak handed.

Whether one uses a wallet or not, have monies, credit cards, debit cards, ID, a single check, "shopper's cards" already easily accessible, therefore making one less of a target.

Don't Adverstise.

Ladies.

The ladies in my life, knew who they were, centered, low maintenance, and "if" they carried a purse, it was a small one. These were people I worked with, associated with and even married to.
Except my first wife, her purse was heavier and had more crap than I would pack for a two day out of town trip.

My second wife for instance, being a RN III, would carry her Driver's License, her hospital badge, a tube of lipstick, a SAK Classic SD detachable from her key ring, and her lunch. All this in her scrub pocket, or lab coat pocket.
She took great pains to find the most ugly, cheesy, "tote" to carry her lunch, and sometimes paperwork for work.
[This thing was so ugly and cheesy, a criminal would not be caught dead, snatching it...even criminals have some pride, ego, and reputations to protect]

When off work, "if" she carried a purse, it was small. Most times she did not carry a purse. The only thing she had to change was her health insurance card. She made a copy and had this in both her, and mine vehicle. This was after she was rear-ended, and pushed into the car ahead, and the air-bag broke her upper arm, and other injuries.

Look alert, with your wits about you, and have whatever you need out and easy to get to, BEFORE you enter a store. Give the appearance of not only being sharp, also "not a good target" because you don't have a bulging wallet and fiddling with it, or hauling around a duffel bag sized purse, like you are going on vacation.
 
I generally watch for prople trying to get behind my vision in parking lots.

I also tell people I only have cards. No sense in being rude. What non-firearm people don't realize is that a confrontation is the LAST thing Carriers want.
 
My wife has had both knees replaced. She can't run fifty feet, much less to a safe place! I'm 60 and in pretty good health, but I can't run very far. Therefore, if trouble comes I'll deal with it right there because it won't help to try running from some young antelope with crime on his mind.

When wifey is with me, we get to the car and I open her door for her. While she is getting in I have time to look around. Maybe I'll have a moments warning of trouble. When I get in its ...start the engine, in gear and get moving. I'll buckle up at the first light.

I don't even like the parking lot at work. More so on Wednesday. There are no people within 300 yards. Just don't trust it!

Mark
 
Parking Lots are just flat dangerous. The bigger they are, the more dangerous.
Just getting to and from vehicle and store, can be "interesting" all by oneself.
Click to expand...
This is why I ride my bike when I have to go to the big lot stores.

I can "park" it at the door, locking it to a post.

Exit on the bike allows me to zigzag between the parked cars,
or even just take the back route to the bike path.

Adaptability.
 
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