Out of the Box Thinking/Ideas
Stiletto, good job on getting her data points! Based on your additional input, you still have some work to do to get it right for her...
She is only half way through “shopping” your collection; encourage her to try everything and select one, just one. That is your starting point.
“The shoes” experience is a complex female shopping process, she will ask you what you think and your answer will lay the foundation for several more purchases ($1000 may be cheap over time; giving her one of your guns is most cost effective). Any input from you relieves her of all the responsibility for her selection.
Based on your criteria and her preferences, consider one of the most unusual guns I ever shot: the Triple Action Daewoo (South Korean) DP-51c. It is a 9mm, 13 rounds, compact, inexpensive straight shooter with light felt recoil. She will like the SA pull, won’t use the DA, and will, I think, like the hammer down Triple action feature. Sounds weird; works great! Does not look European; has a good feel. And I never understood who might want one...until now.