"President Urged to Regulate Blunt Objects"

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cuchulainn

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from http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/view_press_release.php?rID=6600

President Urged to Regulate Blunt Objects
"Blunt Objects" require proof of training at Farm and Field


Blunt objects are responsible for a high percentage of injuries from violent crimes. Regulating them could prove as useful as banning guns and knives.

/24-7PressRelease/ - ATLANDA, GA, June 28, 2005 -- President George Bush should regulate blunt objects that could cause severe injuries or even death, according to a leading outdoors auction website.

"There has long been pressure on politicians to ban guns of all sorts, and already we see new pressures to ban kitchen knives," says Farm and Field Auctions President Chad Brown. He is referring to the report by doctors from West Middlesex University Hospital in Great Britain, who blame half of all stabbings on kitchen knives. The doctors are calling for a ban of long, pointy kitchen knives.

Farm and Field Auctions maintains that the United States cannot stand idly by, while Great Britain takes the lead in injury prevention. "We have to get ahead of the curve," Brown declares "Great Britain has already banned most guns, and now it might ban knives, too. We can claim our rightful lead in personal safety by regulating all blunt objects before they do."

The US Department of Justice reports that 26% of violent crimes involve a weapon. Blunt objects, such as rocks, clubs, blackjacks, bats, and metal pipes, accounted for more injuries from violent crimes than knives and other pointed objects, and almost as many incidents of armed violence. Meanwhile, the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault reports that 35% of assault are committed with clubs and other blunt objects.

Asked why he does not want all blunt objects banned, Brown said that would be just plain silly. "Britain's murder rate has been steadily rising since most guns were banned in 1996," he said. "Could you imagine the how crowded our hospitals would be if we banned blunt objects altogether?"

Farm and Field Auctions says that regulating rocks, clubs, blackjacks, bats, and metal pipes could more significantly cut down in injuries from violent crime than by banning them.

"We have taken the first step," says Brown. "We do not allow anyone to bid on rocks, metal pipes, clubs or bats, not even rolling pins or frying pans, unless they can produce a certificate of proper training. Now it is up to the government to take action."

About Farm And Field Auctions
Farm and Field Auctions lists outdoors items for sale by owner, focusing on farmers, fishers and hunters. They feature a section specifically for hunting supplies and equipment.

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"We have taken the first step," says Brown. "We do not allow anyone to bid on rocks, metal pipes, clubs or bats, not even rolling pins or frying pans, unless they can produce a certificate of proper training. Now it is up to the government to take action
Bahahahhaha! Thats funny.

Dont pick up a rock in your yard if you aint trained. :what:
 
The end of civilization is nigh.

This is the most ridiculous thing I've seen this month. The homeless guy leading another homeless guy by a rope downtown a few weeks ago made more sense.

I'm going to need a stiff drink to forget I ever saw this.

jmm
 
Lighten up Paw.

It's kind of funny and makes a point.

I don't have a "cause" that is going to be damaged by that.


G

PS. What's odd on THR is that one person will post something funny. Six people don't get it and one guy is pissed off that they dared to make fun of something important.
You can't win.
 
Then insist on universal amputation.
black_knight.jpg

Come back you cowards! I'll bite your ***** off!
 
PS. What's odd on THR is that one person will post something funny. Six people don't get it and one guy is pissed off that they dared to make fun of something important.

Satire is best enjoyed on the sidelines where they can't see you laughing.

I thought the knife ban article was satire until I saw it was from BBC. Now I'm not sure what's satire and what's a genuine movement.
 
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