Best thing you could do is advise her to look at
http://www.corneredcat.com and then make her own decisions.
Although I'd probably recommend a polymer framed 9mm Kahr. Light weight, light recoil, and light trigger, but a "major" caliber. I've shot a CW9, and the recoil was amazingly mild, especially compared to the same size/weight Kel-Tec P11.
Racking the slide may be a problem, but I look at strength problems this way. If someone has weak hands and wrists, they can have a trusted and gun-savvy friend or family member load the mag and rack the slide for them. They
cannot have said friend pull the trigger for them. Clearing jams may be a problem, but is that a
bigger problem than being unable to pull the trigger in the first place?
I had a very severe bout with tendinitis a few years ago, that left me unable to pull a 12 pound trigger half the time. All better now, but I sold all my guns with a heavy trigger, and haven't seem to have re-acquired any...