Welcome to the area!
I live in McLean, VA and did the NoVa-to-Bethesda commute on a regular basis for six months while on a project that required me to be at a government client site. The commute takes a little under 30 minutes with low to moderate traffic but can approach 45-60 minutes if I-495 starts acting up. The Beltway from the I-270 interchange in MD to the I-66 interchange in VA is one of the most traffic bottlenecks in the entire US.
As a gun owner, Virginia is the way to go. Not only are the laws here friendlier than MD (never mind DC), you are also closer to more shooting ranges. There are several indoor ranges here, the best of which is the NRA Headquarters range in Fairfax. For outdoor ranges or to go past 50 yards, you'll need to either head a good ways south or west or else join a private club like the Izaak Walton League.
VA gun laws are straightforward. CCW is shall-issue, and no restrictions beyond those at Federal level are in place. There is no assault weapons ban nonsense here!
Gun issues aside, other advantaged IMHO to VA include lower taxes, slightly fewer nanny-state inclinations from local and state gov'ts, and a more competitive political climate (only matters if you lean conservative/GOP; DC and the MD suburbs are among the most liberal jurisdictions in the US). Montgomery County has some nice aspects though; communities like Bethesda, Rockville, and Potomac are all great places to live.
Real estate costs anywhere in the DC area are very high. You'll be somewhat prepared coming from the NYC area, though. Fairfax County in VA is pricey, as is Montgomery County in MD (Bethesda is part of MC). Anywhere inside the Beltway demands a major premium as well. Washington D.C. itself is downright brutal unless you live in rougher areas. Loudoun and Prince William Counties in VA are somewhat cheaper but I advise against buying there because your commute will be hell.
Your best bet location-wise IHMO would be McLean, Falls Church, or north Arlington (look at neighborhoods on or north of the Orange Line metro for easier commute). McLean has some of the highest-end real estate in America you head west or towards the Potomac, but more affordable homes can be found east of Rt.123. Falls Church is a bit more middle-class. Arlington has higher-end areas bordering McLean or backing up to the driver but becomes more middle-class on its western reaches bordering Falls Church. The built-up areas (Ballston, Clarendon, Rosslyn, etc.) are expensive but very nice if you are looking for a more urban feel.
Many stereotypes about the region are true: the traffic does suck, many people do exist in a political or socioeconomic bubble, and way too many people do come across as rude, elitist, materialistic, or self-absorbed. The pace of life here is definitely quicker than most of the country (though slower than NYC). Having said that, you can certainly enjoy living here if you find a good community of people and take advantage of the many things the area does have to offer.