Without reading the rest of the thread,
If it strictly a stay at home gun, why not get a Remington 870, load it with #4 and call it good?
And as far as the 1911 being a better or worse choice for fighting than an XD, I carried MANY other autos before I decided that a 1911 works best for me. For EVERYTHING. Carry, home defense, or WAR. You need to learn to use a gun correctly no matter what it is. Mine is loaded 10 +1. Every gun runs out of ammo, you can't say one is better than the other based on that. I wouldn't let either one get past five withoug reloading anyway.
Having said that, if we had another straight up trial for a new service pistol, I think an XD would be tough to beat.