I have size large hands. The most comfortable grips for me that are still concealable are the Pachmayr "Compac" models. They're just long enough to get my pinky onto. You can buy them for most popular revolvers: Smith j-frames, Rugers, etc. Their downside is that they don't seem to fit the gun as well as factory grips, but they're good enough. A close second would be the factory Ruger SP101 grips, the ones with the plastic side panels. I can just barely get my pinky around it as well; not a full grip, but close enough to keep it controllable.
I highly recommend taking a class on concealed carry and another on more advanced defensive handgunning. You need regular range time to build & keep up shooting skills with handguns; it's not like riding a bicycle. If your budget's too tight to make it to a range at least a few times a month, I'd recommend picking up a set of snap caps (Azooms are good). These let you practice reloading drills and let you practice dryfiring enough that your sights won't wiggle.
A bright push-button flashlight is also a good investment. You can use it to blind a guy when he gets in your face or to see when you shoot, if heaven forbid it comes to that.
Good luck!
