This one happened in April. I actually posted this on another forum, back when it occured. I'm going to do a direct copy paste, but for clarity's sake.
1. This occurs in metropolitan Australia.
2. Home invasions rarely involve firearms here. I personally have a firearms licence allowing me bolt actions etc, but I don't have any firearms in the house.
3. Yes this is 100% real. The style of writing is a result of my typing it up for the other forum. If you get a laugh from it, all the better. All events and dialogue are as it happened.
4. A Queenslander is a raised weatherboard house. Fairly common in Northern Australia where you get monsoonal rain.
I'm just wondering what a group of people with a slightly different focus will make of it. I'm putting it in Strategies and Tactics because it gives a chance for you guys to think what you would have done in my shoes. I've just finished a 12 hour graveyard shift and well, I'm off to bed. I'll happily answer any questions. I also recognize that my thought processes are a little screwy at the moment so if this is in the wrong place...
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Last night at about 2am I was woken up by someone walking up the stairs to my house (It's an old Queenslander, squeeks like a Swedish hooker). My room is right on the front balcony/verandah. Through the gap in my curtains I could see someone get to the top, then pause. There was enough light that I could tell it wasn't anyone I knew.
I have a rapier (proper tempered steel etc) that leans against the cupboard next to my door. I quietly rolled out of bed, picked it up and unsheathed it. I hadn't closed my room's door properly so I was able to open it without making any real noise. Five seconds later I was standing by the front door looking through the peep hole.
It was a warm night and I haven't done any washing for a while so I hadn't worn anything to bed. Funnily enough this didn't really occur to me until then.
I saw him reach forward then the doorknob started turning. I got an idea that was just too good to resist. I took hold of the deadlock and when he had the handle turned the whole way I undid the lock and flung the door open with a cry of "AVAST, LANDLUBBER". I'd read the pirates chapter of the alphabet of manliness earlier in the day... It may have been what prompted it.
The look on the guys face was freakin' fantastic. He span around and ran like a bastard, tripped halfway down the stairs, faceplanted, picked himself up and ran down the street at one hell of a pace. I was about to give chase when I realized that the person running away from the naked guy with the sword is not going to be the one the police shoot.
Ten seconds later, one of my female housemates came out of her room and started yelling at me for waking her up... the look on her face when she realised what I was wearing was almost worth the embarrassment.
1. This occurs in metropolitan Australia.
2. Home invasions rarely involve firearms here. I personally have a firearms licence allowing me bolt actions etc, but I don't have any firearms in the house.
3. Yes this is 100% real. The style of writing is a result of my typing it up for the other forum. If you get a laugh from it, all the better. All events and dialogue are as it happened.
4. A Queenslander is a raised weatherboard house. Fairly common in Northern Australia where you get monsoonal rain.
I'm just wondering what a group of people with a slightly different focus will make of it. I'm putting it in Strategies and Tactics because it gives a chance for you guys to think what you would have done in my shoes. I've just finished a 12 hour graveyard shift and well, I'm off to bed. I'll happily answer any questions. I also recognize that my thought processes are a little screwy at the moment so if this is in the wrong place...
_______________________________________________
Last night at about 2am I was woken up by someone walking up the stairs to my house (It's an old Queenslander, squeeks like a Swedish hooker). My room is right on the front balcony/verandah. Through the gap in my curtains I could see someone get to the top, then pause. There was enough light that I could tell it wasn't anyone I knew.
I have a rapier (proper tempered steel etc) that leans against the cupboard next to my door. I quietly rolled out of bed, picked it up and unsheathed it. I hadn't closed my room's door properly so I was able to open it without making any real noise. Five seconds later I was standing by the front door looking through the peep hole.
It was a warm night and I haven't done any washing for a while so I hadn't worn anything to bed. Funnily enough this didn't really occur to me until then.
I saw him reach forward then the doorknob started turning. I got an idea that was just too good to resist. I took hold of the deadlock and when he had the handle turned the whole way I undid the lock and flung the door open with a cry of "AVAST, LANDLUBBER". I'd read the pirates chapter of the alphabet of manliness earlier in the day... It may have been what prompted it.
The look on the guys face was freakin' fantastic. He span around and ran like a bastard, tripped halfway down the stairs, faceplanted, picked himself up and ran down the street at one hell of a pace. I was about to give chase when I realized that the person running away from the naked guy with the sword is not going to be the one the police shoot.
Ten seconds later, one of my female housemates came out of her room and started yelling at me for waking her up... the look on her face when she realised what I was wearing was almost worth the embarrassment.
