Stupidest Tactical Equipment

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Dr. Sandman

Jan 20, 2010
Northern Indiana
I thought that it would be fun to hear some opinions regarding the abundance of "tactical" equipment and accessories that are available these days, specifically, which pieces are the stupidest, most unnecessary, superfluous, idiotic, and hilarious wastes of money out there. Criteria are as follows: the item must be black, or primarily black; the word "tactical" must be included somewhere in the description; and it must be unnecessary or contain unnecessary elements. I can think of three that I have come across recently.

1. Tactical Shotgun Heat Shield

In an attempt to look menacing, this company has come up with a barrel shroud for a shotgun. The 870 has lots of places to hold on that do not get hot. I can see shooters wanting to put an aperture site on a gun, but any displacement of the shield would severely affect your accuracy. Spend you money on ammo, not this sophomoric waste.

2. Counter Sniper Scope

Ah, the ol' Fun to Read Sportsmans Guide. It is fun to read, I almost died laughing when I saw the reticle! I highly doubt that any branch of any military has ever used this scope, much less the Americans. More stuff in the reticle does not mean a better scope. These used to be priced at over a grand, now they are $450( Compare at $2033.99!). I guess that they just were not moving. Ha! Plus, everyone knows that you are supposed to yell out "No sniping snipers!", then they can't touch you, even with a counter sniper scope.

3. M48 Kommando Survival Hammer Tactical Hiking Staff

This thing takes the cake! First of all, I did not know that United Cutlery has it's own army, much less a Mall Ninja division. In the catalog, they describe it as "an effective breeching tool". For what? Breeching the drywall of your Dads house where you obviously must live if you order this thing.

Are there any other votes?
But? But?? But???

Tactical 'Operators' all drink beer that comes in pale green bottles out of a sucky hose thing, running through the top MOLLE loop on their LBE, and into the beer camel-pack on their back.

They DO NOT take the pale green glass beer bottles into the field and litter the landscape with broken glass.

It's part of the 'Tactical Operator' 'scorched earth', but leave no 'dead solder bottle' behind training they all have to go through.

What if, 50 years from now, a young 'tactical operator' stepped on a broken pale green beer bottle in the foliage while wearing his 'Tactical flip-flop shower shoes'?

Easy to see where this could lead to the loss of another good 'Tactical Operator' so easily, and for so little good reason??

I thought everyone knew that!

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Was the pet rock a dumb product? Absolutely. Was it a brilliant idea? Absolutely.

Same goes for all this "tactical" nonsense. Folks are getting rich. Good for them. :)
With 870 furniture, a heat shield is kind of pointless, but on Mossberg 500s with their ribbed fore end it's easy to touch the hot barrel if you've been shooting a lot. So I wouldn't say they're completely useless.
What about the "tactical" pistol grip for Mossberg shotguns? And I also give a vote to the pistol bayonet.
The tactical lever-action rifle is my favorite. Also, why is every new cheap china made aluminum flashlight now branded "tactical"?
Black, tactical, and unnecessary?

Every quad rail handguard ever made.

5.11 pants.

Vests with molle loops.

CCW fanny packs.

Operator ball caps with velcro and IR glints.

An AR buttstock with a rail.

A red dot with a rail on it to mount another sight.

Magpul Iphone cases.

Flip up BUIS.

Tiger striped fixed blade knives.

Gerber Multipliers with cap crimpers.

Bandolier slings.

and the new low in tactical - Black Multicam:
tirod said:
Every quad rail handguard ever made.

Magpul Iphone cases.

Flip up BUIS.
To each his own, but I find these things to be useful/tasteful.

I don't own an iPhone, but my buddy does and it's a nice fitting, low-profile case. And who doesn't want their back-up sights to be out of the way of optics when not in use?
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