The home alarm goes off - STUPIDITY in my parents' home!
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Snarlingiron
Member
7. First time you are wrong: Your life.
Get the alarm fixed. Or, if it really means nothing (apparently the case), just turn in off altogether, and pray for the best.
ZeSpectre
Member
Issue #1 (the technical trouble) was well covered by stevemis and needs to be addressed. I know a good number of people with alarm systems who have NEVER had a false alarm.
Issue #2 is how do you respect your parents while improving safety in the house? To put it bluntly you can't force them to change and it IS their house. So maybe you work a little more low-key, keep a cell phone handy, be ready to operate as backup if necessary. Have a calm conversation some time about WHY you are concerned and show them some info on home invasions and how dangerous it can be.
If they think that an alarm system is some magic shield and you can't get them to see it's just an alert and the security comes from what you do after you are warned, then there isn't much more you can do to protect them I suppose.
Issue #2 is how do you respect your parents while improving safety in the house? To put it bluntly you can't force them to change and it IS their house. So maybe you work a little more low-key, keep a cell phone handy, be ready to operate as backup if necessary. Have a calm conversation some time about WHY you are concerned and show them some info on home invasions and how dangerous it can be.
If they think that an alarm system is some magic shield and you can't get them to see it's just an alert and the security comes from what you do after you are warned, then there isn't much more you can do to protect them I suppose.
BullfrogKen
Moderator Emeritus
You need to respect your parent's lifestyle. It may be naïve and stupid, but disrespecting it will not influence them to change.
At least get them to fix the alarm system. You've made a fuss over it, so now you're going to need to give it some time, or you'll appear to them as "their badgering, know-it-all kid".
After about a month, and it needs to be a month, of it going off every week, with you not reacting in any way, try this tactic. Shame him. Not overtly, but subtle. Most men pride themselves on their homes, and their ability to have things work, and making smart buying decisions.
"You know, Dad. Its a shame you spent all that money on a monitored alarm system and it doesn't work properly. It is a good alarm system, isn't it? I mean, you didn't get swindled by some fly-by-night alarm installer, did you?"
<Gruff answer from Dad . . .>
"Oh. Well have those guys come out and fix it. I can't imagine how embarassing it must be for you when guests are over and the alarm goes off at 2am."
That's about the best you can do. Get them to uncondition the response they conditioned themselves to: alarm = false alarm.
At least get them to fix the alarm system. You've made a fuss over it, so now you're going to need to give it some time, or you'll appear to them as "their badgering, know-it-all kid".
After about a month, and it needs to be a month, of it going off every week, with you not reacting in any way, try this tactic. Shame him. Not overtly, but subtle. Most men pride themselves on their homes, and their ability to have things work, and making smart buying decisions.
"You know, Dad. Its a shame you spent all that money on a monitored alarm system and it doesn't work properly. It is a good alarm system, isn't it? I mean, you didn't get swindled by some fly-by-night alarm installer, did you?"
<Gruff answer from Dad . . .>
"Oh. Well have those guys come out and fix it. I can't imagine how embarassing it must be for you when guests are over and the alarm goes off at 2am."
That's about the best you can do. Get them to uncondition the response they conditioned themselves to: alarm = false alarm.
silverlance
Member
relax, buddy. I'd suggest you find out why your alarm keeps going off. in the meantime, go shooting with your dad so he loses that fear of his own piece.
kev
kev
False alarms quickly lead to complacency, hence your old mans reaction. It can happen to anyone.
I'm a pretty cautious person, but at work we have 2-3 false fire alarms every night. The first several months I was with the company, on hearing an alarm come over the radio for a building I was in, or one near it, I would quickly step outside to a safe area and have a look at the situation. These days, I'm not sure I even note the location anymore, my mind has sort of filtered it out. If we ever have a real one, I'll probably not be in a happy spot.
That's the way the brain works, hell if you're going to be in their houe for a year and you're not hyper-vigilant, you'll find yourself ignoring the alarm too.
Get it fixed, so that when it goes off, it's worth something. Only answer.
I'm a pretty cautious person, but at work we have 2-3 false fire alarms every night. The first several months I was with the company, on hearing an alarm come over the radio for a building I was in, or one near it, I would quickly step outside to a safe area and have a look at the situation. These days, I'm not sure I even note the location anymore, my mind has sort of filtered it out. If we ever have a real one, I'll probably not be in a happy spot.
That's the way the brain works, hell if you're going to be in their houe for a year and you're not hyper-vigilant, you'll find yourself ignoring the alarm too.
Get it fixed, so that when it goes off, it's worth something. Only answer.
Just to address a few things here:
1. I'm not "still" living with my parents. I've just temporarily moved back as I'm moving out of state in a few months. It was just to avoid having a contract run while nobody lived in my old place.
2. I absolutely do respect my parents wishes and respect them as well - hence why I posted here first. I wanted to make sure I wasn't wrong in my assumptions. I haven't given them grief over this, but I think I may want to talk with them about it eventually as it's for their own safety.
3. The alarm doesn't have two modes. It's a state-of-the-art system (even still) that is fully customizable with a programmable computerized central system. There is no away mode. There are modes to bypass various detectors, which they do use. The alarm itself tells you what zones were set off. They're all over the place, not just one constant place.
4. I forgot to mention the house/family next-door was held at gunpoint while robbed.... and the house next-door on the other side was held at gunpoint, then tied to chairs and tape placed over their mouths - then robbed..... and there was an attempted robbery here as well. Somebody used a ladder to climb up onto my parents' balcony, then smashed their window and stepped inside..... the alarm went off the moment they smashed the window though and they must have thought better, so they fled. The upside is that my parents got a free ladder.... the downside is that somebody is out there with unfinished business and ticked off I'd imagine.
5. The alarm does NOT go off very often! I'm talking about observations over a long period of time. My parents never took it seriously, from the day they moved in and I was a kid.
6. My father will never get over his fear of his piece. I've tried. He has a .357 magnum with a 6" barrel on what looks like an N frame (gun dates back to around 1950 when it was a Chicago cops, then the cop sold it to my dad when he retired in the early 80's). It doesn't have really all that much recoil. He's just afraid he'll miss and shoot through a wall and hit somebody.... so he needs to practice... but he refuses. Says he doesn't need practice. It's frustrating but I'm not going to argue with my father.
7. I spoke too soon in an earlier post. I'm not upset because I'm afraid of something bad happening to me. I won't be here very long. I'm upset at what I see because I worry about my parents doing something foolish and getting shot.
1. I'm not "still" living with my parents. I've just temporarily moved back as I'm moving out of state in a few months. It was just to avoid having a contract run while nobody lived in my old place.
2. I absolutely do respect my parents wishes and respect them as well - hence why I posted here first. I wanted to make sure I wasn't wrong in my assumptions. I haven't given them grief over this, but I think I may want to talk with them about it eventually as it's for their own safety.
3. The alarm doesn't have two modes. It's a state-of-the-art system (even still) that is fully customizable with a programmable computerized central system. There is no away mode. There are modes to bypass various detectors, which they do use. The alarm itself tells you what zones were set off. They're all over the place, not just one constant place.
4. I forgot to mention the house/family next-door was held at gunpoint while robbed.... and the house next-door on the other side was held at gunpoint, then tied to chairs and tape placed over their mouths - then robbed..... and there was an attempted robbery here as well. Somebody used a ladder to climb up onto my parents' balcony, then smashed their window and stepped inside..... the alarm went off the moment they smashed the window though and they must have thought better, so they fled. The upside is that my parents got a free ladder.... the downside is that somebody is out there with unfinished business and ticked off I'd imagine.
5. The alarm does NOT go off very often! I'm talking about observations over a long period of time. My parents never took it seriously, from the day they moved in and I was a kid.
6. My father will never get over his fear of his piece. I've tried. He has a .357 magnum with a 6" barrel on what looks like an N frame (gun dates back to around 1950 when it was a Chicago cops, then the cop sold it to my dad when he retired in the early 80's). It doesn't have really all that much recoil. He's just afraid he'll miss and shoot through a wall and hit somebody.... so he needs to practice... but he refuses. Says he doesn't need practice. It's frustrating but I'm not going to argue with my father.
7. I spoke too soon in an earlier post. I'm not upset because I'm afraid of something bad happening to me. I won't be here very long. I'm upset at what I see because I worry about my parents doing something foolish and getting shot.
I have learned that you can show someone the path, but that doesnt mean that they will follow it. I have gone through similar things with my wife and my parents. Sometimes they take my advice and sometimes they dont, I have found that leading quietly by example keeps them the most open minded and receptive to contrasting opinions...and believe me, I have a big mouth so quiet is difficult for me lol.
The Economist
I understand your boat. I have seen alot of the same behavior from people in my family. I don't let that stop me, however. I am not going to respond to noises at night (outside), breaking glass or anything suspicious with nothing in my hand. It's very frustrating for the survival conscious to try to explain to the meek that it is best to be armed. Best example: my grandpa owns land just outside of town on the top of a hill. It's next to government hunting grounds, meaning people are armed. Alot of people go out there to drink and party. Whenever we go to trim brush or anything else I insist on being armed. Naturally, I get alot of negative criticism but I would rather have my shotgun or rifle on hand if someone decides they don't like us asking them to pick up their beer cans and move 20 feet off our ground, or move their truck blocking the lane, etc. It is very hard to make them understand, psychologically, that its better to be armed and ready and be happy at the end of the day that you did not need it than need it and be SOL. It does you no good to say...gee...I wish I brought my gun today but that cocky guy had his for sure! Not me, buddy. My life is valuable to me and I will NOT let someone hinder me from taking care of it. I use to deal with someone who had this complex that only he will be armed and nobody else can be armed. Sorry, I am not a kid anymore. I am ready, willing and able which means I repel borders too. We love our families and that is why we are willing to go above and beyond to protect them, just like the post in general discussions about the guy using an AK-47 to ward off home invaders. Bravo to him and anyone else that will do it. It's not about being paranoid people, its about having the proper tools to deal with these sort of situations. The police ARE only reactionary. You never know when someone is plotting to mug you, stick you up, or break into your castle. Only YOU can take full and complete care of YOURSELF. YOUR safety is YOUR buisiness.
I understand your boat. I have seen alot of the same behavior from people in my family. I don't let that stop me, however. I am not going to respond to noises at night (outside), breaking glass or anything suspicious with nothing in my hand. It's very frustrating for the survival conscious to try to explain to the meek that it is best to be armed. Best example: my grandpa owns land just outside of town on the top of a hill. It's next to government hunting grounds, meaning people are armed. Alot of people go out there to drink and party. Whenever we go to trim brush or anything else I insist on being armed. Naturally, I get alot of negative criticism but I would rather have my shotgun or rifle on hand if someone decides they don't like us asking them to pick up their beer cans and move 20 feet off our ground, or move their truck blocking the lane, etc. It is very hard to make them understand, psychologically, that its better to be armed and ready and be happy at the end of the day that you did not need it than need it and be SOL. It does you no good to say...gee...I wish I brought my gun today but that cocky guy had his for sure! Not me, buddy. My life is valuable to me and I will NOT let someone hinder me from taking care of it. I use to deal with someone who had this complex that only he will be armed and nobody else can be armed. Sorry, I am not a kid anymore. I am ready, willing and able which means I repel borders too. We love our families and that is why we are willing to go above and beyond to protect them, just like the post in general discussions about the guy using an AK-47 to ward off home invaders. Bravo to him and anyone else that will do it. It's not about being paranoid people, its about having the proper tools to deal with these sort of situations. The police ARE only reactionary. You never know when someone is plotting to mug you, stick you up, or break into your castle. Only YOU can take full and complete care of YOURSELF. YOUR safety is YOUR buisiness.
dralarms
Member
I install alarms for a living and if you are having that kind of problem it's time to get it serviced.
Also new alarm system all have "away" "home of stay" modes of arming.
If you want some info on the alarm pm me and I will pm you back with my phone number. I can tell you what direction to go about the alarm system anyway.
Also new alarm system all have "away" "home of stay" modes of arming.
If you want some info on the alarm pm me and I will pm you back with my phone number. I can tell you what direction to go about the alarm system anyway.
anotherKevin
Member
I think that if both neighbors on either side had armed home invasions, and your parents had an attempted break in on their house, and this still didn't register with them that you are wasting your time. Resolve to lead your life better than they are, and move on.
Sometimes the best gift your parents can give you is a burning desire to not make the same mistakes they made, and that's something to be grateful for.
Sometimes the best gift your parents can give you is a burning desire to not make the same mistakes they made, and that's something to be grateful for.
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