This would be funny...if it wasn't so pathetic

[Waitone]

I suspect lawyers are being helpful in provide new and innovative ways of abusing and misusing products.

Back when I worked for a corporation I never knew how to sexually harass co-workers until I received proper instruction.

 

[6_gunner]

Remove warning labels off of everything, and the problem will sort itself out!

AMEN!!!

I'm a part time maintenance man, so I see a lot of good warning labels. My favorites are the graphic stick man warning labels. Apparently they're for people who are using heavy machinery, but who can't read. You get to see stick man get his hand cut off by the power saw; get crushed by the hydraulic lift; fall on his head from the big ladder...the list goes on and on. Sometimes they even show you several different ways that stick man can hurt himself on a given piece of equipment. Good stuff.

 

[cuervo]

An all-time favorite:
Remove baby before folding stroller for storage

 

[The Deer Hunter]

I'

m a part time maintenance man, so I see a lot of good warning labels. My favorites are the graphic stick man warning labels. Apparently they're for people who are using heavy machinery, but who can't read. You get to see stick man get his hand cut off by the power saw; get crushed by the hydraulic lift; fall on his head from the big ladder...the list goes on and on. Sometimes they even show you several different ways that stick man can hurt himself on a given piece of equipment. Good stuff.

I agree, those stick figure death images are incredibly humorous.

 

[h0ss]

I love stick figure warning images. One thing they always taught me in grade school was not to run during a fire, for safety reasons obviously. But i always get a kick when i am at Wal-Mart and see the sticker on the fire escape door on the front/side of the building... It is white and red, says something to the effect of "Warning: Fire Exit" or something like that. It was a picture of a door with flames bursting out of it, and a stick figure man booking it down a flight of stairs, full out running motion. I don't know why, but i find the image hilarious. Check it out sometime

 

[sharkhunter2018]

On a Sears hairdryer -- "Do not use while sleeping."

I can't tell ya'll how many times I woke up at night...and i was doing my hair

 

[3rdpig]

One of my favorites was the warning on the back of a product that said

"Warning, this product contains Red Dye #2 and has been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats!".

The product? Rat Poison.

 

[Remmy91]

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

 

[SierraBT]

My 92FS basically has the manual engraved on the frame.
"Read manual before use. Retract slide to see if loaded. Fires without magazine."
:banghead:

 

[apollosmith]

I love stick figure warning images.

Then you'll love these - http://smithplanet.com/stuff/warnings.htm
Most of them I made myself, but got the inspiration somewhere else.

 

[Bilt4Comfort]

Geezus...it was a Hi Point. Consider yourself lucky they warned you before it KBd on you.

 

[paramedic70002]

Bought an insulated cup at Wal Mart. On the lid:

CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE HOT

Really, you mean if I put something hot in here, it will come out hot too? What about cold liquids? Not sure?

 

[Hatchett]

Just about every Ruger has a billboard on the side of it that's as insulting as any of these.

 

[MASTEROFMALICE]

Beat to the Ruger thing. I was going to mention that each Ruger has it's own range safety class etched into the barrel.

 

[MakAttak]

Gah! It's out of control, because so is our court system. Ever since the courts ruled that no matter the negligence of the individual, they could still sue, NO MATTER WHAT COMMON SENSE DICTATES. According to the courts, all liability rests with the companies. Hence, they try to cover as much as they can.

 

[kurtmax]

Yeah the stick figure labels are awesome.

There was one on an aircraft hanger door I saw a few years ago. The door kind of rolled up around a cylinder. It had a picture of a stick figure twisted four or five times around the cylinder. Seriously... it was like a stretch armstrong stick figure.

 

[keeperofthehills]

on the back of the package for bowl fresh automatic toilet cleaner.

"safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recomended that
either be permitted to drink from the toilet."

 

[xpun8]

A few years ago this was Christmas entertainment:


Miss Teen SC may have wrote this one.

The product is in high quality and durable operating convenient and send bullets with automatic device exploding is strong the percentage of hits is high it can use as practising marksmanship.

 

[VirgilCaine]

Hey, the blurb on my airsoft pistol is just like that! One long, run-on sentence. The model is different, though.

 

[BlackBearME]

The best I ever saw was the following:

"Caution Hot Surface"

In Braille.

On the metal face of an iron.

Couldn't believe it.

Oh, and on the OT: You also risk injury or death by living. What's the big deal?

 

[woodybrighton]

my brothers unit in iraq ended up with 8 causalities from arsing about with airsoft guns including one hero who shot himself in the mouth as a joke wasn't laughing as claret went everywhere
surgeon who patched them up mostly minor eye surgery came over and gave them a safety lecture "you lot are a bunch of c***s"
he was TA as well found it refreshing to actually to swear at patients who've done something stupid for a change

 

[cpttango30]

I say remove the labels. The problem seems to be a self limiting problem.

It is amazing what people will do without thinking.

Like driving down the road with a boiling hot coffee bewteen your legs.

OK HOT coffee + Breaking + Skin = BURNT LEGS. how hard is it to figure out that when you order coffee from a place it is HOT?

 

[foghornl]

I recently set up a new HP Plotter for the engineering group at work. In the manual:

Warning! Do not insert fingers into paper path, as results may be painful.

 

[Colt]

Reminds me of the SNL skit with Dan Aykroyd.

Joan Face: Alright, Mr. Mainway, if you don't think that was unsafe, how about this Halloween costume, which you market under the label "Invisible Pedestrian"? [ holds up the costume ] It's an all black suit, gloves and mask. Now, it seems to me, Mr. Mainway, a child wearing this costume at night to go trick-or-treating is in grave danger of being hit by a car!

Irwin Mainway: Car? What do you mean "car", Miss Face? I mean, a car is a pretty big object, right? I mean, kids are smart today, you know? They know when a car is coming at 'em to jump out of the way. I mean, most of the kids I know go trick-or-treating at houses, right? You don't see too many kids walking along the expressway knocking on windshields looking for treats. This is a "sidewalk" costume!

Joan Face: A "sidewalk" costume?

Irwin Mainway: Yeah! I mean, you know, we don't recommend this for blind kids. See, there's a warning right on the label - "Invisible Pedestrian, Not For Blind Kids." [ turns packaging around to show this warning in big bold letters ] Huh?

Joan Face: Alright, Mr. Mainway. But surely even you can see the danger in this next costume, which you call Johnny Combat Action Costume. This is an actual working rifle!

Irwin Mainway: An M-1, yeah.

Joan Face: I mean, this is a deadly weapon, and you're selling it to children!

Irwin Mainway: The ammo's not included. I mean, this is a very popular item, you know? Give the kid a little something extra! Field glasses, a little helmet there, the gun, you know, it makes 'em feel like a real general! I mean, this product is very popular in Texas and Detroit!

 

[spooky_t]

"Do not use drill for dental purposes

Do not eat ornamental rocks

Do no eat toner

Coffee is hot! (Wow! I had no idea you served coffee hot)

I've got 100 more like them, long story short, stupid people will do stupid things."

And then try to sue someone for their own stupidity - yeesh!