timeless military advice,,,

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i can't answer that one,,,

i know that a lot of the women seem to get pregnant even though noone is supposed to be having ,,,well you know...

i /we were in when they were just starting to put women on board, and it so happened that one of the first ships to take them on was right across the pier from us in long beach

we were of the opinion that it would lead to infighting amonst the men over the women, sailors were always fighting over women

so when we heard on the news on the messdecks tv that there had been a KNIFE fight on the ship across the pier we just knew we were right,

almost,,,

the WOMEN were fighting over the women

yup, thats right

one even had a skull and crossed bones tattooed on her cheek (saw pix)

mull THAT one over for a while...:what:
:rolleyes:
 
As a Marine PFC, I once had a Corporal "Lay it down" for me while we were drinking heavily and attending a platoon barbecue.

PFC, don't ever volunteer. However, a time will come when you won't have a choice. If confronted with a choice, most details fall into 2 categories. Dangerous or dirty. You need to decide which one is right for you.

He was basically right. The dirty jobs were usually safe, but the dangerous jobs got you talked about.
 
An old joke:

In a swamp, you hear the following:

Infantry: This sucks.
Ranger: I like how this sucks.
Special Forces: I wish it would suck more.

Above the swamp, you hear:

Army Aviation: Must suck down there.

2,000 miles away, you hear:

Air Force: No cable? This sucks!

:evil:
 
Hey, guys!!

New here and really enjoying the thread. I may be an old Vietnam Era Vet, but hearing you guys is a hoot. The more it changes the more it stays the same, eh?

Now, I have a problem and wonder if anyone can help. Several weeks ago the hubby was reading this thread and clicked on 'Skippy's List.' I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself, had to get the asthma inhaler just to get breathing again.

Now I wanted to share the list with a good friend who would really appreciate the humor and heck, I click on the URL and I get 'website not found.' What's the deal, was it TOO good, was it pulled, is it down for repairs and more good stuff? Did the psych squad decide it was too insightful of the military mind? Does anyone know? Will Ken come out of his coma and marry Lydia after she has finished her affair with her gynecologist? Ooops, sorry, wrong soap opera :p

Keep up the good funnies, the world needs a belly laugh every now and then. ;)
 
I too could not get to skippyslist.com. But Google has it cached for now. I copied it to my hard drive.

Just do a google search and instead of clicking on the url, click on the Grey Cached thing at the bottom of the desciption.
 
Personal favorite:

There are more airplanes at the bottom of the sea than there are submarines stuffed into the sides of mountains.

Henry
Fmr. MM1(ss)
 
Old Navy training phrase.......

"Never worry because we are usually no more than a mile or so from land. Of course that land is straight down."
 
:) Thanks, the cached worked. downloading Skippy even as I type.

The reason for wanting Skippy? The short version of the long story. My Vietnam Era overseas service was in South Korea and, of course, for years the VA had been working to get Korea declared (is still) an active combat area and get Korean service persons a Foriegn War designation.

Well that got done and now they have created a service medal just for us folks who served in the land of Kimchi and Honey Wagons. I get another MEDAL! Something to make my good conduct and National Defence not feel so bleeding lonely :rolleyes: .

When I found out about the medal I went down to the local recruiting office and asked the SSG there about information. He didn't have a clue, apparently the DOD doesn't talk to the recruiters very often or send them any updates and it turns out that EVERYONE in that recruiting office has done Korean service. So I told them that I would go on line and download everything I could find and put it on a floppy for him. And then I thought about Skippy's List. I thought who would appreciate the humor more than a bunch of recruiters who have to look strac, wear serious expressions, and spout bull???? with a straight face?

It will be good for their morale :D don't you think??
 
Stories

The one I always liked was the one about the old Chief trying to teach the recuit with lead in his feet to swim. He finally gave up and told the young man that if his ship ever sank to let himself settle to the bottom then run like hell !!!:banghead:
 
Skippy's List

101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.

Why not?:confused: :D :D :D

:scrutiny:

103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.

104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint’ Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.

105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.

106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.
 
Down toward the bottom of "Skippy's List"

I am NOT allowed to ask LTC Steele to autograph my copy of "Blackhawk Down" :D :D

not THAT'S a "well YOU'RE no fun!!" :evil:
 
One for the Navy:

A good friend will come bail you out of jail...but a true shipmate will be sitting next to you saying - "Damn....we messed up"..
 
another navy one,,,

from the HMC or "Doc"

"remember,,,them bartenders can open 'em a lot longer than you can drink 'em"

as he handed me my B -12s and cotylenols,,,

:evil:
 
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