We're doomed. A rant.

[LawDog]

We're doomed.

I have seen the future of America, and I'm here to tell you it bloody well looks bleak from where I sit.

One of the guys at the department brought a videotape to work today and told us that if we wanted to see some truly funny and pathetic stuff, we should watch it.

I am sorry to say, we did.

Apparently somebody, somewhere has decided to spring scary situations on unsuspecting people, and film their reactions for the edification of the masses.

I know what you're thinking. And I probably should go into a rant about the disgusting practice of terrifying people for the purpose of filming their terror so so that Joe Sixpack can be amused, but no.

No, friends and neighbors, the truly horrifying thing about this show is the gormless, gutless - pardon my French: nutless reactions of the victims.

Folks, I have just seen two fairly large young men who are escorting a cute young lady climb into a taxi-cab and when the taxi driver refuses to stop the cab (and even goes so far as to begin driving through structures) these two outstanding examples of the knuckle-dragging half of the species don't do a damned thing except bleat at the driver to stop!

Are you kidding me?!

You've got a maniac cab driver bellowing about not going back to jail and driving like a sulphur-reeking bat over, and through, the scenery; and you've got a lady screaming hysterically in the front seat and what do these two putzes do?

[snivel]"Look, you need to stop. Really. Please stop the car."[/snivel]

Jumping Judas priest on a flaming pogo stick!

Are you telling me that between the two of those -- I can't call them men, because I swear to God that there can't be enough testosterone between the two of them to sprout one single solitary chest hair -- between the two of those ... things ... they didn't have one right cross? A chokehold? Hell, the two of them couldn't just snatch the driver over the back of his seat and pummel the ever-living Cheeze-Whiz out of him?

Look, I know and understand that the brainwashed little honyocks would probably wet their knickers at the thought of touching, much less carrying, a gun, but they didn't have one single, dad-blasted pocket-knife somewhere?

[snivel]"Look, we're getting scared. We don't like this."[/snivel]

Well, no ****, Sherlock! Bloody well express your feelings later, do something about the idiot right the hell now!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, since when the hell did snivelling become the American response to Bad Stuff Happening?

I swear to God that the touchy-feely hippie jackanapes have ruined this whole country.

This is what passes as humor?! I'm here to tell you the only God-****ed thing that would have been funny about that whole situation would have been if one of those lads would have screwed a .38 into the drivers' ear and caused the goober to drench his drawers.

That would have been funny.

No-ooo. We get whimpering and snivelling. And everybody out thataway seems to think this is normal.

Is someone yanking my chain? At one time we were the mightiest nation on the face of God's green earth, and we're reduced to this?

We're toast. We are absolutely, undeniably toast. Bloody hell. :banghead:

And I hope like hell that the little darling in the front seat wasn't planning on canoodling with one of the victims later -- I don't know about California, but here in Texas we have laws concerning intimate relations with sheep.

Bloody well a case of Aggravated Sexual Assault of a Farm Animal, I swear to God.



LawDog

 

[pdt203]

So tell us... how do you really feel?

 

[P95Carry]

LawDog ... you make an all too painful and accurate observation!

Enjoyable however thru your inimitable style!!

 

[Coronach]

I have seen snippets of the same program.

On the one hand, I will be truly amused when they do it to a CCW holder or an off-duty cop.

On the other hand, I value non-malicious life in all of its forms. Even the dumb ones. And that scenario just can't end well for the poor sod who signed on as the antagonist.

Mike

 

[Oleg Volk]

I am still waiting for that show to pick on a person who, upon perceiving a credible threat, would proceed to ventilate other participants.

That said...lighten up! It is TV, aka make-believe entertainment, not too different from Punch and Judy. Merely finding two sniveling cretins is no cause for alarm...though it is sad that those same two cretins probably try to vote your rights away every chance they get.

 

[Psssniper]

I have come to the conclusion recently that men are no longer MEN. I could take a thousand words to explain this but I think you all know what I mean. What can we do to reverse this??
Is our society so emasculated that all hope is lost?

 

[Sir Galahad]

Things such as this (and other crap such as "Jackass") are examples of a society where everyone sees fit to discuss their most intimate matters on their cell phone in the checkout line at the store, but cannot spell if their life depended on it. People call crap like that "entertainment", but then wonder how come kids start imitating it. No kidding, I have stood in checkout lines and heard people on their cell phones discuss yeast infections, menstruation, masturbation, and other great ice-breakers. Rudeness and a lack of understanding of proper behavior in society is common. This is why I don't have a TV. Society starts the downward slide into total ignorance...

 

[Kaylee]

outstanding rant Ian!

As to this...

I have come to the conclusion recently that men are no longer MEN..... What can we do to reverse this??

Thankfully, that's not completely true... most all the fellers here being nice cases in point. The answer's pretty easy though.. the distaff side just needs to remember to only date within our species...




-K

 

[Bruce H]

i wonder how the producer of this grand epic stupidity would respond to the same treatment? Only thing is there is no controled environment.

 

[444]

"I have seen the future of America, and I'm here to tell you it bloody well looks bleak from where I sit."

And this is news ? Tell me something I don't already know. I work as a paramedic and spend all day playing nurse maid to pansies who can't even take a splinter out of their own finger but instead collapse on the ground in a fetal position from the pain of it.
I was told that during our recent rookie academy that there were six individuals who cried on a regular basis. These people who cry in training, are the same people who may someday be called upon to drag your unconscious body out of a fire. These are the cream of the crop, the guys who made it out of thousands of applicants.

The average person in America couldn't hold a candle (I would love to use several more colorful expressions here) to a sissy of 50 years ago.

LawDog, what would have been funny is seeing one of them immediately draw a knife and cut the driver's throat from ear to ear before they could tell him it was supposed to be a joke.

 

[Feanaro]

I have always felt that show somehow screened the people they do this to, because I don't want to beleive the stupidity of some of the people on there.

I'd like to see them pull that Yeti thing on MY trailer. *Yeti smashes into window, BANG, spray of blood*

 

[Andrew Wyatt]

I've seen that show, actually.

I thank god every day that i'm not that much of a whuss.

 

[Edward429451]

Haven't you heard? It's against the law to be a man anymore.

(No slam to LEO's there so calm down. Just an observation.)

 

[Sisco]

I see it like the bits where Jay Lenno interviews people on the street. Notice that the people in the clips are brain-dead, clueless or both. The intelligent people that answer all the questions correctly are never shown.
Same with the show you saw. If the guys would've yelled "Let's Roll!" and took action, the clip would have never made it on the air.

 

[Braz]

Um...


Riiiight. The slide started with Allen Funt in the 50s. Do you have any idea how many scenarios they go through to get a few funny 'things' we can laugh at? Any clue how many indignant folks tell 'em to take their release and shove it? How many lawsuits are avoided by settlements? I thought not.

I agree reality shows are mostly crap, but I liked Candid Camera. Didn't you? Laughing at embarrassment is fun, pain is over the line, imo. But I'm ooooold and wrapped too tight.

If you're looking for the reason we're growing softer as a nation, look for the scumbag lawyers. As usual. Honest Abe would be ashamed of them.

 

[Drizzt]

Still... the 'monkey with a gun' episode on Scare tactics was hilarious, if only because it was so pathetic.

 

[Blain]

Haha, I've seen that episode of "Scare Tactics".....funny stuff.

Generally what you say is correct, however, don't underestimate the power a crazed man behind a wheel can do. Trying to attack/tackle him might cause him to floor the gass peddel and really smash the car so that no one survives. You have to have not just a blind attack, but a well thought out assault where one grabs the guy, and another the wheel.

 

[Elmer Snerd]

At the risk of sounding like a devil's advocate, could the two guys have known about the gag and pretended to be wusses to "heighten her experience"?

I am curious if it is all faked, or if they are told "We will try to scare you some time this week, act natural." It does seem like the risk would be too high. All they would need would be one incident of heart trouble, off duty or plainclothes LEO, CCW, or the victim going berserk with whatever is handy because he thinks that he's going to be eaten.

"Next on 'Scare Tactics': Lawyers ambush the producers of this show! Don't miss it!"

 

[Sir Galahad]

Best cure for all this is to remove the warning labels from power tools and electrical appliances. Don't put warning labels on them at all. Next guy that decides to make Pop Tarts while he's in the tub and drops the toaster in, ZAPPPO! He's outta there! Like skimming the gene pool with a net. Next guy that sticks his hand into the cutterhead of a joiner/planer and ZIIING! Costs him a hand to learn not to be an idiot. He'll be a one-handed smart man from then on. Next guy that cleans his garage floor with gasoline next to the hot water heater and Ka-BOOOM! One less liability to genetic integrity.

 

[SquirrelNuts]

I would never let that happen, armed in any way or not!

-SquirrelNuts

 

[Zundfolge]

So how long until they do one of these stupid shows and the "victim" starts putting those failure to stop drills they've been doing into practice?

I remember the woman who sued the SciFi channel over the "allien attack" joke. I still can't help but think if they would have pulled that one on me there would be a dead actor in a rubber suit

 

[Mike Irwin]

Uhm....

I can't put my finger on why I feel this way, but I think that LawDog is just a little miffed about something...

I think it's the tone...

I've seen that show, too.

Consider the host. Shannen Dougherty. Christ, that's a white-trash trailer wreck right there.

Consider the premise. TV hypercruelty masquerading as viewing enjoyment. Rome had NOTHING on America. They had the Colusseum and Gladiators. We have reality television and morons who compete to go on these shows.

If I'm going to watch this kind stuff, I'm going to watch the History Channel. Yeah, it's dead bodies, and stories about the Nazis killing Jews and Russians and everyone else. But at least that has historic and probative value.

I can honestly say that of ALL of the reality TV shows that have cropped up over the last couple of years, I've watched, against my will, about 10 minutes TOTAL. I simply refuse to watch this dreck.

Interesting, though, I picked up a piece of newspaper that my Mother had saved for some reason, from back in 1988.

Believe it or not, it was talking about a reality-type TV program that aired in 1973 on PBS!

The show followed a distressed family and watched the breakup of the husband and wife, the family dealing with a homosexual son, etc. I guess that would have been the true genesis of reality TV. It just took what, nearly 30 years to catch on.

 

[Don Gwinn]

Seriously, Ian, you see how calm I am over here? That's because I don't watch that crap.

 

[Archie]

Something to remember about the "scare" shows...

They usually have the cooperation of one or more of the victim's friends.

No one who knows me would go along with the gag. Why? Because they know I'm armed.

I can just see the pre show briefing:
"Now when the Yeti bangs on the side of the house, make sure the costume will stop a 35 Whelen round! If you spook him somewhere on the street, you'll only have to worry about the 45 he carries."

The reason all these people are wusses is simple. That's who they pick on.
How many of LawDog's friends are going to tell them.. "Sure... wait until he parks his car and then send in a biker gang whooping and hollering."

I can hear the 911 call now....
"Could you send an ambulance, the coroner and a patrol car to...... No... no hurry."

 

[CZ-75]

At the risk of sounding like a devil's advocate, could the two guys have known about the gag and pretended to be wusses to "heighten her experience"?

I've never watched the show, but the trailers seem to indicate that the "friends" are in on it.

I can honestly say that of ALL of the reality TV shows that have cropped up over the last couple of years, I've watched, against my will, about 10 minutes TOTAL. I simply refuse to watch this dreck.

Me too. I hardly watch network TV and if it weren't for the Discovery and History channels (and their offshoots), along with SPEED, PBS, OLN and, occasionally, SCI-FI, I wouldn't even get $10 of my $50 worth every month.