I'm really not trying to be clever here, but if you can't shoot .40S&W well because of the round's noted snap and torque (.40s do seem to twist in the hand) - you should switch to 9mm.
A quality 9mm +P JHP gives you everything a .40 does, and you will be better able to hit what you're aiming at, plus practice more (lower cost, lower recoil = more practice).
If you really need a low recoil .40, the solution is a larger gun with a polymer frame - the USP .40 full size HK's excellent two stage recoil spring is about as good as it gets. The SiGPro is also a notably soft .40 to shoot.
Good luck.