I don't want another mess to deal with & said she is probably thru with them.
I was like that almost 30 years ago. I'd not personally bagged a deer, but I was part of a group of hunters that always got several deer during the year, and I shared in the meat. Turned out I was the youngest and they only wanted a somebody to track their deer and haul it out. Never really let me have a spot on the land where a good shot could be had. Plus I'd learned in the service how to "reach out and touch" a target at very long range. No challenge really where I lived and hunted at the time.
You see, when hunting becomes a chore, much more than a pleasure and a thrill, this reaction is not uncommon. Then as we age, when tending to downed game is causing a lot of physical pain, or the next morning when your body reacts to the physical activity you did when dealing with the downed deer..., this reaction is also not uncommon.
I think she has given you a clue..."another mess"...sounds as if she sees the whole activity is a
chore. At your stage in life, if the
chore isn't necessary, why do it?
You're on this nice piece of land with deer on it every year, so no real challenge. She shoulders that nice rifle, with nice optics, hand crafted ammo
that you made....BANG...FLOP....now she has to dress out the deer, and maybe even break it down for freezing.
Sounds like it's too easy for her.
OR she hurts a lot the next day, but doesn't complain to you and hides it, but if it's a chore AND it hurts the next day...yeah she's done.
So regardless if she ever goes out hunting again, if you don't have a Chiropractor, GET ONE. Seriously, I thought Chiropractors were BS..., well I was stupid but got lucky and caught a problem before it ended my job and my hunting. And I had no pain in my back nor hips when I caught the fact that my skeletal system was terribly out of alignment. You both will stay active longer, and will have much less pain when you get a good Chiropractor, so your quality of life will continue, even if she doesn't go after deer in the future.
The answer to the hunting problem may be to find out if there is something that will challenge her,
that she finds interesting. Maybe it's a different kind of hunting. A nice light 20 gauge and bird hunting, where when done the birds are dressed and plucked, and in bags, and all you do is go home, verify they are properly packaged, and freeze them, might in order. (You might want to double check..., you reduced the recoil in that 7mm-08 with hand loads, but did you reduce it enough? She might not even notice a problem when shooting, but..., as I mentioned when you're out of spinal alignment, the recoil can give you pain the following day, and in areas you don't think are related. )
For me the answer was black powder..., then it was black powder and a flintlock. I have to get in on the deer at under 100 yards, avoid detection, and make a good, single shot. All of the deer I've ever taken, have been done that way. It's still a challenge, it's still satisfying, and it outweighs the chore of dealing with the downed deer after the shot is made. OH and although the bullets are heavier than yours, the much slower speed means a lot less recoil. You might consider a nice .45 caplock for her... but it needs to be her idea.
LD