http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=31318
WLIB: Liberal talk radio
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Posted: March 3, 2003
1:00 a.m. Eastern
© 2003 WorldNetDaily.com
A group of investors are trying, once again, to lose their money in what has become the Bermuda Triangle for venture capital: liberal talk radio. The network, which I'm tentatively calling WLIB (west of the Mississippi, we'll use the call letters KRAP), hopes to attract big names to sit behind their microphone. Will it work? Only in the sense that the Yugo worked, in that it was successful in proving that people won't buy a cheap and poorly constructed product.
The hatchling network is about to step out of the nest without fully developed wings, and some listeners may tune in just in time to hear it hit the pavement. The company, called Anshell Media, is courting the likes of Al Franken to host a show. You may recall Franken as the person who titled his book "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" just so there would be at least one name on the cover that anybody recognized.
The title of Franken's book captures the essence of why the left will always fail at radio. Conservatives are the joists of liberal careers. They need to use conservatives in order to be heard, giving their opponent more exposure in the process, and then they slip back into obscurity almost every time because conservatives don't have to return the favor. When they realize this, they lash out. Theirs is an ideology based entirely upon telling you your ideology is stupid, nothing more. In other words, it's very bad and boring radio.
In pockets of New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, Boston and others, they may find a few listeners who have some free time between aromatherapy and "International Conflict Resolution" courses at college, but not anywhere near an audience the size needed to support a national show. The left's foray into radio will be a directionless disaster, the likes of which haven't been seen since Fred Noonan turned to Amelia Earhart and said, "I thought you brought the map."
WLIB's core audience will be those who hang out at coffeehouses with names like "Nature's Perk," "Java & Rainforests" and "The Unbearable Lightness of Bean." Regular listeners will be limited to people who work at bookstores on a volunteer basis, guys who stole a car with the radio already tuned in and don't have time to figure out how to change the station and, saddest of all, the over-65 sandals-with-black-socks arts crowd who lost it all at Haight-Ashbury and can now go a full day without noticing that they put their boxers on over their pants.
Take a look at USA Today's map of the counties won by both Bush and Gore. The new radio network in those red areas will be cancelled within a month, but in the blue areas, which contain more Democrats, that's a different story – it may take up to five weeks before WLIB is cancelled.
Left-wing talkers have yet to even succeed in television. Phil Donahue, who apparently is guided by Karl Marx via a Ouija Board, recently had his show cancelled by MSNBC. Donahue claims this is a plot by MSNBC to make room for more conservative voices, while the network insists Phil's show was cancelled for being consistently beaten in the ratings by a test pattern on Channel 273.
The problem for wannabe radio talk hosts on the left is that their ideas – when there are any – are visually oriented. Liberalism is "The Three Stooges" of philosophies. It's a slapstick ideology, and therefore must be seen to be appreciated and laughed at.
Naked bodies lying side by side spelling out the word "peace" must be seen for the full effect. Spray-painting fur coats is boring to only listen to. Someone chained to a California Redwood to protest logging while chanting "who speaks for the trees" has some bark visually, but no bite on radio.
Leftists who want a radio show: Consider yourselves forewarned – you can't draw a Hitler mustache on a picture of George W. Bush, perform an effective skit about an NRA member accidentally shooting his foot off, or whine about gas-guzzling SUVs from the back seat of your limo in an effective fashion on the radio.
Could WLIB succeed? Maybe, but only if some Berkeley researchers are successful in making a composite clone of Limbaugh, Hannity, Boortz, etc., inject novocaine into the left-brain at the correct point in gestation, put the baby in a basket on Nina Totenberg's front porch, knock on the door, and run away. In a mere 40 years, they might – emphasize might – have a radio talk-show host.
The left needs to stick to what they're good at, which is ... well, not radio.
WLIB: Liberal talk radio
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted: March 3, 2003
1:00 a.m. Eastern
© 2003 WorldNetDaily.com
A group of investors are trying, once again, to lose their money in what has become the Bermuda Triangle for venture capital: liberal talk radio. The network, which I'm tentatively calling WLIB (west of the Mississippi, we'll use the call letters KRAP), hopes to attract big names to sit behind their microphone. Will it work? Only in the sense that the Yugo worked, in that it was successful in proving that people won't buy a cheap and poorly constructed product.
The hatchling network is about to step out of the nest without fully developed wings, and some listeners may tune in just in time to hear it hit the pavement. The company, called Anshell Media, is courting the likes of Al Franken to host a show. You may recall Franken as the person who titled his book "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" just so there would be at least one name on the cover that anybody recognized.
The title of Franken's book captures the essence of why the left will always fail at radio. Conservatives are the joists of liberal careers. They need to use conservatives in order to be heard, giving their opponent more exposure in the process, and then they slip back into obscurity almost every time because conservatives don't have to return the favor. When they realize this, they lash out. Theirs is an ideology based entirely upon telling you your ideology is stupid, nothing more. In other words, it's very bad and boring radio.
In pockets of New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, Boston and others, they may find a few listeners who have some free time between aromatherapy and "International Conflict Resolution" courses at college, but not anywhere near an audience the size needed to support a national show. The left's foray into radio will be a directionless disaster, the likes of which haven't been seen since Fred Noonan turned to Amelia Earhart and said, "I thought you brought the map."
WLIB's core audience will be those who hang out at coffeehouses with names like "Nature's Perk," "Java & Rainforests" and "The Unbearable Lightness of Bean." Regular listeners will be limited to people who work at bookstores on a volunteer basis, guys who stole a car with the radio already tuned in and don't have time to figure out how to change the station and, saddest of all, the over-65 sandals-with-black-socks arts crowd who lost it all at Haight-Ashbury and can now go a full day without noticing that they put their boxers on over their pants.
Take a look at USA Today's map of the counties won by both Bush and Gore. The new radio network in those red areas will be cancelled within a month, but in the blue areas, which contain more Democrats, that's a different story – it may take up to five weeks before WLIB is cancelled.
Left-wing talkers have yet to even succeed in television. Phil Donahue, who apparently is guided by Karl Marx via a Ouija Board, recently had his show cancelled by MSNBC. Donahue claims this is a plot by MSNBC to make room for more conservative voices, while the network insists Phil's show was cancelled for being consistently beaten in the ratings by a test pattern on Channel 273.
The problem for wannabe radio talk hosts on the left is that their ideas – when there are any – are visually oriented. Liberalism is "The Three Stooges" of philosophies. It's a slapstick ideology, and therefore must be seen to be appreciated and laughed at.
Naked bodies lying side by side spelling out the word "peace" must be seen for the full effect. Spray-painting fur coats is boring to only listen to. Someone chained to a California Redwood to protest logging while chanting "who speaks for the trees" has some bark visually, but no bite on radio.
Leftists who want a radio show: Consider yourselves forewarned – you can't draw a Hitler mustache on a picture of George W. Bush, perform an effective skit about an NRA member accidentally shooting his foot off, or whine about gas-guzzling SUVs from the back seat of your limo in an effective fashion on the radio.
Could WLIB succeed? Maybe, but only if some Berkeley researchers are successful in making a composite clone of Limbaugh, Hannity, Boortz, etc., inject novocaine into the left-brain at the correct point in gestation, put the baby in a basket on Nina Totenberg's front porch, knock on the door, and run away. In a mere 40 years, they might – emphasize might – have a radio talk-show host.
The left needs to stick to what they're good at, which is ... well, not radio.