Your Biggest Whopper

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depicts

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I was over on the S&W site, and someone was talking about protection from bears (yes, AGAIN!) He wanted to know what to carry for a .357 for protection from big cats and bears in the woods.

Someone told a story of how his Grandpappy killed a bear with a .22 Magnum, and it was shot placement that mattered.

So I felt it was my duty to tell my own bear story.

When I was a young'un. I was hunting in the woods near Boston with my trusty Benjamin .22 pellet gun, pumped up to 20 pumps. A grizzley bear came out of nowhere. (Probably escaped from Franklin Park Zoo) and started charging me near Jamacia Pond near the boat landing.

I ran and ran, but it was catching up to me, so I turned and fired one pellet at it.

Luckily, the pellet hit the bear in the eye, causing it to miss catching me, and fall over a "LEARN TO SAIL" Sunfish on the shore. It fell in the water, and it's neck got wrapped around the anchor rope. The harder it struggled, the tighter the rope got.

The bear was asphixiated, and I ran off to catch the bus home, being scared and afraid I would get in trouble for being in the park with a pellet gun.

I heard they stuffed that bear and sold it to kittery trading post in Maine for a display. Of course they put in two glass eyes, so I don't know which one is the bear I killed.

Make sure you have enough gun!!

Bill
 
It fell in the water, and it's neck got wrapped around the anchor rope.
Click to expand...
I've got to say - that freakin' bear had one really flexible neck!

:what:

I won't tell my own tale - except to say that it something to do with a time I was hunting near a Burger King.
 
whopper = fish

Truth not whopper.

I watched a fellow catch a 53 # catfish directly below the dam.
Next night/wee hours I caught a 45# catfish, also fishing below this same dam, about 200 yds down river from dam.

13' rod, Daiwa Spinning reel, 30# test line, 8 oz sinker, 10" shad fillet, I'd caught for bait using a throw net. No big deal to cast this 100yds +, I had already won that bet casting the length of a football field, end zone to bleachers...

Gun Related, I carried a concealed 1911, not all River Rats are good rats.
The .44 mag was for getting the big cat "still".

Drive a long spike into cat's head with a sledghammer, chainsaw to remove head, peel skin with vice grips, and start making fillets, and steaks. Share the rest of the meat with other River Rat folks...

You fight a cat against river current for an hour and some minutes. Get the big thing onto the bank adjacent to big log <huff...puff> hand pole to someone, put muzzle near eye, pull trigger under the muffle of chain sawfired up. Sucker will quit pulling, flopping and trying to get back in the River.
Hog hunting - River Rat method. ;)

Use Enough Gun, log, Chain saw, ice tongs, sledge hammer knife and ice chest. :)
 
Not one of mine but one of a good friends:

While in college he worked for a produce company, unloading train cars. He kept the job while others either quit or were fired, because he didn't mind really hard work and could put up with incredibly insensitive management...

One night around 1:00am he was awakened by his boss asking if he could come in right away and unload a car-load of potatoes. Not being fully awake and being a big Cheech and Chong fan, he replied (with appropriate accent): "I can't, man. I gotta primer my jeep."

Before he could say anything further, this boss at the other end said, "Uh. Yea. Well. OK. then" and hung up.

According to my friend, his boss never said ANYTHING about his crazy excuse.

I know it's not gun-related, but if it had been me, at 1:00 in the morning....

Clint
 
I remember this time I found a whole mountain side petrified. No wait that was Jim Bridger.
O.K. there was the time I shot that running 10 point (western count) in the woods, off hand at 500 yards with open sights using my 30-30. No wait that was a friend of mine that lives a little ways south of here.
I'll have to get back with you on this one. I'm having a hard time remembering which "this really happened" story I was in.:neener: :p
 
My father was chased by a bear when he was a young man. There was only one tree close enough to climb and the lowest branch was 12 feet off the ground. He leaped and missed...., but he caught the branch on the way down.

Pilgrim
 
Shortly after I moved to Idaho, I was at a friend's farm just walking around when I suddenly had the urge to relieve myself. I walked behind the barn and unzipped when I suddenly noticed a horse looking at me.
I thought nothing of it and finished my business.
Later that day after I'd gone home, my buddy, sounding horribly distraught, called me to say that ol' Buck, his high-dollar stud, had commited suicide.
True story....

Biker
 
This one's also true (you can ask 'im).

When we were kids, my nephew and I were goofing around with our air rifles in the woods. We were sitting up on this unused train trestle that went over a little creek out by his place. I had my shiny new Hercules (or Xisco, if you want) XS-B3. He had his Daisy 141 that his stepfather bought for him for some ding danged reason when the boy was about nine (and he couldn't even cock it until he turned about twelve).

Well, this was many moons later.

I'm fooling with my shiny new toy, getting my scope dialed in by picking at a nail that's stickin' up out of a pole about 30 yards away. I had my back turned to my nephew so I didn't know that he was fooling with his scope, and he had it out of the rings for some silly reason.

Well, there's a starling up in a tree about 20 yards away, and he's been making the most obnoxious squawking in our general direction and he seems intent at keeping at it. I don't know about you, but I'm not much of a fan of starlings as ugly, proliferous, non-native featherballs that kill of the local songbirds. So I sort of offhandedly say to him, "Jesus, shut up that stupid bird, will you?"

Bear in mind his scope is sitting on the ground next to him and his gun's got no sights on account of the scope mount. So he loads one up and just sort of slings the gun up in the general direction of the bird with one hand like a pistol - he's not even trying - and he lets one fly.

And the starling abruptly quiets. Musta scared him, we figure. Then it falls out of the tree, stone dead.

That boy ain't never hit nothin' before or since. Never did get him to do it again...
 
Pilgrim and Biker, you guys are too much :)

I know I started this thread, but now I want to tell a 100% true story that happened to my best friend in my backyard here on Lake Winnicunnet.

Paul was fishing all day, and had run out of shiners, but he had a new rod and reel, and felt like casting anyway, so he stayed at it for awhile. He was wading in shallow water in sight of my front deck when he felt something bump into his leg.

He felt it again, and looked down in the shallow water and saw a big bass swimming around his legs. I saw his bend down, and scoop up the bass hooping and hollering. He came on shore and we weighed the bass, and it was over 8 pounds, so we took it to the local bait shop to have it officially weighed for the state game badge contest.

On George's scale at the bait shop, the bass was 8 lbs 4 ozs.

Paul filled out the form for his badge.

Where it asked what he caught it on...he filled in..."Hand Tackle!"

No, really!!!!!!! (this is gun related because it was a man eating bass *grin*)

Bill
 
The biggest whopper I ever told was " I do "....... and I really didn't, but I did with all her friends....:what:
 
Two true stories:

When my mom was a young adult (she refused to say how young) she was walking around the woods behind her house with a .22 rifle, just plinking at this and that. Then she notices this weird bird flying by about 100 yards away. She thought "I've never seen that before, I wonder what it is?" so she just shot it. She says it was a very quick, barely aimed shot, but hit the bird right through the heart. She went up and looked at it, but it was some exotic bird she had never seen before. She figured it must have escaped from the local exotic zoo (about 2 miles away) and kicked it under a bush... She says she doesn't know why she shot it. She hasn't fired a gun since.


One time I was playing paintball with my younger cousin (at his parents farm), two of my younger brothers, and some of their friends. We were taking a breather between rounds, and there was this bird, flying around in circles about 150 feet away, being really loud and obnoxious. 150 feet is a long, long distance to hit anything with a paintball, but I figured what the heck. So I pointed and fired one-handed and hit the bird! After that, they put me on a team all by myself...
 
True story
A stray dog was causing problems around my in laws farm.Now my brother in law dont have much use for guns he isnt anti but just dont have a need for them never fired one before. He decided to scare this dog away and goes into house and brings out shotgun with slug in it. By now dog is 200 yards down the road my brother in law just points gun up in the air and lets it rip nailed the dog right in the neck deader than a door nail. The look on mt bro in laws face was priceless
 
Biggest whopper is actually a true story:

My brothers and I as young teenagers were pulling hay bales out of the barn, which were stacked to the roof. Now rattle snakes like to nest in those hay bales and we pulled one and sure enough one slid to the ground.

Now we started whoopin and hollering and I don't think a one of us ever even had our feet touch the ground while running out of there. We got about 10 or 15 feet outside the barn when we saw that snake come out of the door, a big fat rattler. My middle brother picked up an old warped license plate that was sitting on the ground and threw it at the snake. It made a big arch in the air curving upward and then coming back down right on top of that snake, cutting its head clean off.

We stood there for a minute in shock looking at what he did, we later cut the rattle off because nobody was going to believe this one.
 
king of the wild frontier

"Born on a mountain top in Tennesse, greenest state in the land of the free,
Raised in the woods so he knew every tree, kilt him a bar, when he was only three.. ."
 
all whoppers aside, I a friend of mine once took down a 80lb boar at a range of about 100yds with a bolt action .22LR with open sights.
I for a fact know that this happened because I witnessed it, it was an amazing shot, the boar ran no more than 25ft before it went down. it was a nearly direct shot to the heart., kind of amazing what those little .22 bullets can do to vital organs... I can think of half a dozen calibers I'd rather be shot with than .22LR or .22WMR not that I'd want to be shot or anything like that.

For the sake of the topic and to appease the i'll make up a whopper.
Here's your whopper, enjoy, but don't read it if you're intoxicated [edited by moderator to remove non-High Road language].

It was about 5 years ago, I was still in high school. I was walking my usual route home from the bus stop when I heard a loud rustling in the foliage to my right, I looked to the ground and saw some interesting tracks, "this was strange" I thought since I was in a fairly suburban area, using my generic horror film logic I decided to investigate it. I walked into the wooded lot (one of the last in the neighborhood) and standing there before my startled eyes was Mammuthus Primigenius itself, the wooly mammoth! I could tell it was a mammoth and not an african bull elephant wearing a fur coat because it's tusks were 16 feet long! Utilizing my MacGyver like resourceful nature and quick thinking abilities I fashioned an improvised spear-like weapon from pine cones and pencils. I was about to spear the mammoth when former president and nobel peace prize winner Jimmy Carter showed up to initiate peace talks and hopefully sign a non-aggression pact with the 10,000 year old mammoth, but he was quickly skewered by one of the mammoth's large tusks. I then thew spear with amazing precision into the brainbase of the prehistoric beast, killing it instantly. It then for some reason it exploded like the Death Star.
That night everybody had mammoth steaks and Jimmy Carter kabobs
 
Last edited by a moderator:
hmm.. a forum that exemplifies amendment rights yet has considerable censorship..:scrutiny:
ah well we can't have everything now can we?
 
Really guys, it's easy to whopper-ize a thread.. sticking to the facts of the matter is the real challenge.

Which reminds me of a time late one night when I happened to be posting a reply on page 13 of a thread on THR about religion, abortion and sending Libertarians to a gulag in Newfoundland when all of a sudden an alein space craft with the words Glock Perfection on the side ....
 
Yes, Impala, because coming across as a bunch of foul-mouthed, knuckle-dragging hicks really helps promote the right to keep and bear arms. :scrutiny:
 
bigburger6xx.jpg

I ate the whole thing.
ya rly.
 
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