Legality of zombie "killing"

[GLOCK19XDSC]

Hate crime! I propose we all write our congresscritters asking for hate-crime legislation that defines the status of zombies, vampires, etc. and will "protect" their natural "rights."

P.S. Are zombies and vampires allowed to vote? I've heard it is commonplace in some ares of the country.

 

[Cato the Younger]

are zombies perhaps animals?

If zombies are not human, and not dead, perhaps they can be considered animals. Would it then be cruelty to animals to hurt them? I am not as far into Crim Law as the OP, so I will have to take his stuff on faith.

 

[buck00]

During a major zombie outbreak, one could pretty much kill anyone and probably get away with it. Did you ever see the end of "Night of the Living Dead" (1990)? She shoots the antagonist in the head. Think about it. You could shoot your annoying neighbor, your ex-wife, the teens in the neighborhood who play their music too loud, and simply say "oh they were zombies!" A corpse is a corpse during a zombie crisis.

This is where you could possibly be charged for murder. You would probably need a medical witness to prove the body had died from previous wounds and had rigor mortis, etc.

So you really need to use caution during the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

 

[Justin]

Zombie Rights March.

 

[19-3Ben]

Cato-
I don't take my crim law course till next semester. Anything that I say in that regard may be completely fallacious (but I NEVER make mistakes about anything else ).

By the way, I love the fact that such an absolutely absurd question has generated 29 posts in the past 15 hours. You guys are awesome.

 

[Y.T.]

Bit on topic..

There is speculation, that some people aren't actually self aware most of the time.
(look for "zombie behaviour"...on the net )

Undead... I don't know. If they possessed intelligence and could behave themselves..
why.. vampires and liches would make very good historians...

 

[Zach S]

I cant remember who brought up vampires, but thats an interesting twist.

Vampires and zombies both tend to prey on humans.

With the exception of the 04(?) DOTD, zombies were extremely slow. And with the exception of Land of the Dead, they also had little to no intelligence. They pretty much walk around, moan and groan, and eat dead or dying people.

When compared to humans, Vampires seem to be very educated, of course, they have more time to learn. They also have more strength, speed, and agility than humans. While they do have weaknesses, they arent anything most people would carry on a regular basis, at night. They, of course, lay low during the day because of the sunlight.

Lets say that Vampires and Zombies do in fact exist. Two predators with a common source of food. Being the most intelligent, Vampires know that they cant survive without us to feed on. Zombies dont, they eat whoever they can. So, to keep from starving, the vampires would have keep the zombie population in check, they might be doing that right now...

In the event of an outbreak, like in DOTD, the vampires will organize against the zombies. They thought that the feds and the population could handle it, however Katrina proved otherwise, and they arent gonna take any chances. As a matter of fact, they already have plans A, B, C, and D on the table. Plan D is "improvise," something most people use for plan B or C (its normally my plan C).

So, now you have to ask yourself, is the enemy of my enemy, and myself, my friend?

 

[Glockfan.45]

I wouldnt worry about the legality as there would be too many cases to investigate afterwards

By the way, I love the fact that such an absolutely absurd question has generated 29 posts in the past 15 hours. You guys are awesome.

Absurd is the fancy sign on my ammo shelf that says "Zombie Attack Survival Kit" .

 

[gc70]

Think about it. You could shoot your annoying neighbor, your ex-wife, the teens in the neighborhood who play their music too loud, and simply say "oh they were zombies!"

Herein lies the genesis of the zombie concept - the realization that some of those around us are not really living, thinking beings.

 

[Striker]

Are there any statues regarding "deanimation" of zombies?

 

[emitt1]

The hell with it. Just shoot the sob.

 

[Y.T.]

China Miéville (a british radical leftist.. but probably not the kind you would want to tangle with.. looks like a thug, but apparently isn't. )
He also wrote some fantasy books (fantasy as in.. he probably smoked something*.. ) that are somewhat politically charged, thoroughly un-funny (no joke in 1500+ pages, imho the author is sick)) but quite readable...

He had a fantasy world in which there was an undead state.. Cromlech, where the ruling class were liches.. noble families had living and dead members.
Interestingly, vampires had to beg to be allowed to drink someone's blood..
(and zombies used as cheap labour)

*and there are some really twisted sexual practices described**.... I mean.. if some US morons try to get Harry Potter banned.. those books are 10x worse.. (not to mention lots of magic, chymistry and demons. )

You could shoot your annoying neighbor, your ex-wife, the teens in the neighborhood who play their music too loud

You don't shoot at neighbours... you plant homemade claymores into their garden

 

[Correia]

You think you're geeky?

This link is from the shopping cart of my gun store's webpage:
http://www.fbmginc.com/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&page=shop.browse&category_id=125&Itemid=1

And there are already laws in place about dealing with undead and other forms of monsters, they just don't let you know about them. For example, werewolves:

“You know how people become lycanthropes, don’t you, Mr. Pitt? That is one thing that the movies get right. If you are bitten by one you are pretty much assured that you, too, will be infected. The DNA-altering virus lives in their saliva. If you get clawed by one there is a smaller chance that you can be infected, but it is still possible. If we had found a single clear bite mark on you, we would be disposing of your body right now. Under the Anti-Lycanthrope act of ’95 we are supposed to terminate all confirmed were creatures on sight. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think he bit me,” I squeaked. But I felt a lump of dread about the size of a Buick in my gut. He had mauled me pretty badly. Was I going to turn into a werewolf? Or was the FBI just going to shoot me first?

“Silver bullets,” grunted Agent Franks. He kept the Glock centered on my head. I don’t know what kind of Jackie Chan move he was expecting me to pull, but I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. I could barely move. “Just in case.”

“So now what?” I queried.

“We wait. A sample of your blood has been sent for testing. If it comes back positive you will have to be put down. If it comes back negative, you are free to go. We should be getting a call shortly.” Agent Myers said ‘put down’ like I was some sort of dog. This encounter was just strengthening my already strong anti-authoritarian tendencies.

“You’ll just let me go?”

“Yes. Though if you ever speak of this in public you will be in violation of the Unearthly Forces Disclosure Act, and you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

Agent Franks nodded and muttered, “Lead bullets.” His conversation skills seemed rather limited.

Other statutes concerning monster hunting include the PUFF:

“As you now are aware monsters are very real. They are out there, and they are a serious threat to the world. Our company specializes in neutralizing monster threats,” she said.

“Good money in that?” I asked jokingly.

Harbinger reached inside his jacket, pulled out a plain envelope and tossed it to me. I caught it.

“What’s this?”

“There’s a federal bounty paid on certain types of undesirable unnaturals. It’s called the PUFF,” Harbinger stated.

“Puff?”

“Perpetual Unearthly Forces Fund,” Julie answered. “Teddy Roosevelt started it when he was president. PUFF is a tool for controlling monster populations. It is a big source of income for MHI."

Excerpts from Monster Hunter International - By Larry Correia. Available early 2007.

 

[The-Fly]

I thought Zombies were in the same class as varmints. All you need is a small game license, and blast away.

The real question is: are leftists zombies or people ?

 

[Correia]

And you guys really can't just go off wily-nilly killing monsters. It is a very tightly regulated business:

“I got a letter yesterday. The IRS is going to audit us. I’m going to need your help. Our books are a mess, once we handle this little vampire problem of course.”

I grinned. That I could handle.

“I can deal with the IRS. They are a little easier than vampires. Not much, but a little.”

“Will sunlight banish them?”

“Maybe. I haven’t tried that before.”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg though. OSHA is crawling all over us for, I kid you not, workplace safety violations. As if there is anything safe about what we do at all. The EPA is angry about some of the pollution we’ve caused by burning certain kinds of monsters. Fish and Wildlife is going to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species. We’re in trouble with the BATF for some missing compliance paperwork for the machine guns and explosives. Paperwork which they lost. And finally INS is investigating us for employing some illegal aliens.”

“Are we?”

“Sure, but who doesn’t. Do you think you just put an ad in the paper for people who can fly Russian attack helicopters?”

 

[Striker]

Correia,

Any chance I can get a proof of your book? Based on your excerpts, not sure I can wait until 2007!!

 

[Cosmoline]

But I still do think intent matters. If someone batters a pregnant woman and causes damage to the fetus, he is more culpable if he knows she is pregnant and is purposely putting the fetus' life in jeopardy.

We're not talking about negligent homicide here but deliberate actions. Intent follows the bullet.

There's a basic discussion of these principles here:

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/colb/20040128.html

 

[Correia]

Striker, it should be out in January. That's the best I can do. Oleg is finishing the cover now.

 

[Y.T.]

Most feats of undead violate physical laws.. so we needn't fear zombies or vampires..

As to geekyiness.. is there a proper definition.. to determine exactly how geeky someone is, so you can then rank them?
I'm so weird, that cattle(cows) sometimes run when I look at them.

Charles Stross has a better story... it's about a top-secret British organization...
computational demonology* is involved..

*Now that would be a nice CS course...

Though.. you are writing a book .. good luck..
Excerpts are interesting..

(There is a polish writer (Pilipuk .. can't spell it now) who writes stories about a (probably) perpetually drunk immortal redneck exorcist*.. .. his enemies include Nazis, mafia, vampires, tax collector...
*also a moonshine producer, defiler of graves**, staunch anti-communist, counterfeiter, and amateur chemist and gun criminal***) Pretty funny yarns.. )
**
I don't think it has been translated into English though.
***
State authorities don't look kindly on hoarding WWII surplus Panzerfausts and Bazooka rockets.. or 120 mm mortar ammo ..

 

[XDKingslayer]

This is why the world is going to hell in a handbasket. We have upcoming attorneys with WAY too much time on their hands trying to apply or prescribe law to the simplest things. This is why we've become such sue happy nation.

Why don't you wrap you mind around something a little more grown up and start applying law to things that matter like the raping of our constitution.

 

[Correia]

XD, perhaps every thread in L&P doesn't have to be the end of the world.

Relax. Laugh once in awhile.

 

[Sistema1927]

Somebody's law professors aren't keeping him busy enough........

 

[SoCalShooter]

If the world were to experience a class 3 or class 4 zombie outbreak we are pretty well screwed at that point and the only law that matters is the law of John Browning.

 

[19-3Ben]

XD- chill out. If anything, I think that entirely too many lawyers are unable to step "outside the box" and look at the profession, and laugh at it the way I am. In fact, it may be that the reason people don't like lawyers is because they take themselves WAY too seriously. It's lawyers who have taken themselves too seriously who have caused the so called "raping of the constitution."

This was NOT posed as a serious question, and I apologize if I did not make that sufficiently clear.

Wrap my mind around something a little more grown up? Well, I was going to start a thread about non-competition clauses of employment contracts in Wisconsin, which is the subject matter of my oral argument tonight. However, I thought that "zombie killing" was a little more light hearted. I spend enough time thinking about things that are serious, dry, and "grown up." Every now and then, it's nice to just have fun. Sue me.

Sistema-Oh, I'm plenty busy. I thought of it in the middle of my Torts class!


EDIT:
Wait a minute...did you actually think I was trying to come up with the appropriate law surrounding the killing of zombies? I've been told I'm nuts, but c'mon.

 

[Warren]

This was NOT posed as a serious question, and I apologize if I did not make that sufficiently clear.

Just be sure not to ask how to maximize the tactical value of a LeMat revolver. The anti-fun patrol will eviscerate you.