If Guns Were People... (Fun Thread)

The AR-15 is your kid. Spoil em and they get expensive fast.

The AKM is your dependable friend. You can always count on him to help you move your couch, fix your car, or bury a body! He always wears the same get-up, but it works for him, so he sees no reason to every change.

+1

The Browning Hi Power is like a secret agent. Eloquent, smooth, and attractive, and never gets stuck in a jam!

CmdrSlander said:

I don't like the looks of the Hi Power, it seems like a bastardized M1911, though I do appreciate the design and would carry/shoot one.

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Funny just looked at browning high power on wikki...seems like it pretty much IS. Designed after selling the 1911 rights so he had to work around it's patents

Grampa could easily be the Winchester '94. It ain't the next best thing anymore, but is used to be and by God it's classy

Killed my first deer with a '94 30-30, and my favorite rifle is a Model 70 that Grampa gifted me. I miss him dearly.

I guess my CZ75 would be that hot blonde from Czech Republic who speaks in a different language but you aren't really listening to what shes saying, just kind of eying her up.

Mosin Nagants all inherit their spirit from this guy: Viktor Reznov

If guns were people, they'd always be shooting off their mouths...

A Glock is like a good wife. There might be prettier, newer, better dressed pistols out there but when it really counts you know what your going to grab for. A Glock like a good wife may not be as exciting as other offerings but you take comfort and have confidence in something your so familiar with, and has been dependable and by your side from day 1.

Hi Point pistol is a fat chick at the end of a long night of drinking way too much.....

I suppose Mosins are a bit Reznov-y.

I see them a bit more like this, sometimes:

I AM GOOD MOSIN RIFLE OF PROUD SOVIET UNION. I AM USE BY SMALL WEAK CONSCRIPT TO MAKE HIM MORE STRONG FOR FIGHT ENEMIES OF REPUBLIC. I HAVE 2000M SIGHT FOR KILL FASCIST PIG FROM FAR AWAY LIKE GLORIOUS SNIPER VASILY ZAITSEV. I NOW AM SOLD TO CAPITALIST TO MAKE GOOD MONEY FOR RUSSIAN FEDERATION THAT IS LESS GLORIOUS THAN SOVIET UNION AND HAVE CHEAP AMMO SO CAPITALIST CAN SHOOT LOT FOR NOT LOT OF RUBLE. I AM CARRY PROUD SOVIET UNION STAR TO REMIND CAPITALIST OF PROUD SOVIET UNION THAT ONCE WAS IN CHILLY WAR WITH CAPITALIST SO CAPITALIST NOT FORGET PROUD SOVIET UNION.

Our politicians are like water guns in the hands of kids in summer; annoyingly shooting everyone and pestering them and when they are out of water they are just full of hot air.

My Remington .25-06 is on the wild side; it shoots to a different drummer. Oh Deer!

Century old sxs shotguns with Damascus barrels are like us old guys. As The Toby Keith song says "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once, as I ever was".

My Glock 21 is that smart-aleck teenage punk down the street who's always wearing slick goofy trendy clothes and hanging around my daughter. I hate his look, I hate his attitude, I hate that he thinks he's cooler than me.
But dang it, that kid can play a guitar better than Hendrix and as much as I hate him, he plays the sweetest music I've ever heard. I hate him. But I can't find anything better.
P.S. it also stinks that my daughter prefers him too!
That's right, my teenage daughter prefers the .45. I guess I'll accept that.

My M1 carbines are the old guy at work - When you figure out a way to get something done, he calmly tells you he did that ## years ago and has been doing it ever since

My Kel-Tecs are little sneaky circus midgets

My family would be Mossberg 500s - Not very fancy but we just keep on working...

The CZ75 is that stylish, classic, elegant woman sipping Mojitos across the bar.

The girl of your dreams. All you have to do is handle her!

Since you guys have already hit my other stuff:

- My Ruger speed six is like that first girlfriend; never felt anything that smooth before and damn she can sing too!

- My HK USC is that old neighbor who sits on his front porch all day and watches the 'hood; nothing has or will get past him.

The Beretta 92 is that sexy middle-aged MILF; independent, confident, and sleek.

And, need I say it, the Beretta 84 is her pouty little 20-year-old college-enrolled daughter.

And the Beretta PX4 is the ugly half-sister.

My Colt Python is like my lawyer; a smooth talker, carries a big price tag, and a is real snake in the grass.

The Winchester Model 70 is your grandfather, you know the one with the trophy deer over the fireplace.

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Same for a Marlin 336. My Grandfather had one and I can't think of one without also thinking of the other.

The AR10, LR308, and all the other .308 AR-10 style rifles: They are the smart ripped aisians at school. They all play football, and somehow are also finishing summa cum laude with STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math, for you old folks!) degrees. Even though they all look pretty much the same ethnicity to you, never make the mistake of calling one the other.