What do I need to kill a gopher?

The .375 H&H and .416 Rigby are not varmit rifles....a .50 Barrett has the range you need.

I've heard that it sometimes takes multiple shots from a .50 BMG to get the job done. Don't underestimate those critters!

Why, I remember once during the Groundhog Offensive back in '88. Them damn critters had surrounded us and almost effectively cut us off from our utilities and were making a big push for the house's foundation. I could only think of the stories I'd heard about the Battle of the Bulge during WWII. Anyway, at one time, during a reconnaissance mission, I found myself woefully unprepared. See, I was traveling light and had only brought along my .375 and Automag. Let me tell you, I put 3 rounds from the big rifle into one of them varmints before he dropped. After that, I never left the house without my .500 H&H!

Those that have stared the beast in the eye and lived to tell about it will tell you - bring enough gun!

Use enough gun. You do NOT want to be the one responsible for a wounded, ROGUE gopher roaming your neighborhood for days (think of the children) before the authorities are able to bring it down, probably with a $5,000 Barrett. A more affordable alternative would be, of course, a 416 Rigby in just about any bolt action with good wood. Don't scrimp. You get what you pay for. Think of what's at stake If you're not familiar with that caliber, you should probably check it out. No, really. Happy trails.

You NEED a bullet at least as heavy as the gopher.
Those with more expertise will have to advise you on the appropriate rifle.

Have you considered night vision sights with a range finder ?

twoblink,

Hate to inform you but you don't have a gopher problem. You've got a girlfriend problem. You need to find a girlfriend who acknowledges that you buy guns from want...not need. Like she buys clothes or...whateve she buys. She's female...if the money is there then she is buying something based on want and not need. Use that leverage for all it's worth.

Failing that...if you think the girlfriend is hard to convince...just wait until she advances to the rank of wife.

For gophers, I prefer to go back to the ship and nuke them from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.


However, Giant Mutant Ninja Zombie Gophers do haunt my nightmares...

You want to give a gopher a lethal gift that keeps on giving? Slide enough dirt away from a mound that you can see down into the access tunnel. put a handful of sharp glass in the tunnel. I have found that flourescent tubes have the best glass for this, because it has thin shards that are wickedly sharp. Why this little glass landmine is so deadly for gophers is that they are hemophiliacs as a species, because of countless generations of in-breeding. A gopher that climbs over a handful of glass shards will most likely get at least one wound and that wound is usually fatal. I have tried this remedy for years and I rarely have gophers in my yard. Whats nice about the glass idea is that it will not lose its punch over time. Good luck to you...

didn't you guys see caddyshack? you need to mold plastique into little gopher-friendly shapes to lure them in, first.

Use Enough Gun

Jeez don't be a wuss.

20 Megatons should do it.

im not a varmint hunting expert but i do know a few people that choose the higher end rifles to do thier varmint hunting. a friend of mine made a special request to the government for a CheyTac Long Range Rifle System. he sent them a box with his hospital records and pictures of his leg after it had been mauled by a small gopher detachment on a raid, a group of 20 to thirty of these little monster devil creatures had caught him inside the no-mans land just off his back porch with only his 10 mm pistol. The authorities then sent him an M200 with all the extras until he could buy a higher caliber rifle. He has told me since that he has kept the safe distance of at the very least 500 yards. the ballistic computer on board has allowed him to aquire his targets more successfully and he says varmint hunting should be done with nothing less. Its only problem is that the caliber is a little small. with a .408 there are still identifyable pieces left in the back yard and that seemed to only excite the rodents as they went into a berserk cannibalistic feeding frenzy on the chunks of thier fallen comrades, not a pretty sight .

At the price of $50,000 this gun is not seen as very affordable. but to solve all the issues at once you could buy a serbu .50 cal with a rangefinder and all the goodies for about 8 to 9 grand. cheaper still is the 416 rigby it gets the job done but you still might see some of those gruesome chunks.... please for the safety of the community dont use anything less than a 416 rigby on these deadly creatures the chunks, if left out without being properly incinerated may cause even larger and more dangerous wildlife to inhabit the area . trust me you dont want that... make sure nothing is left

.416 Rigby is probally too small for gophers, you should really be looking at a .50BMG