What a Night!

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quote-My brother is kind of in charge of the apartment building - unquote

All that stereo equipment would have "tripped" the apartment main breaker. Can't get an electrician until morning. It's gonna be a quiet party.
 
Sounds like you made several foolish mistakes that with luck you'll learn not to make again.
 
Sounds like you made several foolish mistakes that with luck you'll learn not to make again.
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HSO:
Hmmm...I'm not sure luck has much to do with learning (unless you mean being lucky to survive long enough to learn something).

More helpful would be to point out what the "foolish mistakes" were and what I should have done differently.

For those who missed it, here is an excerpt from the pastor's response to my complaint:

We told them that we were in a residential area and they were to be quiet, to keep everyone inside, to leave quietly and clean up afterwards. They agreed, telling us that this was a quiet ceremony and dinner and they would not be rowdy. Obviously by the state of the parking lot this a.m., by the state of the church and by your report from the email, none of this proved to be the case!!! We learned our lesson – will certainly not rent to this group again, will not rent to ANYONE past 10pm and will drill them with questions about their activities if we don’t know the group.

I am very glad you called the police. I wish they had arrived and called me. I’m also very glad you sent this information.
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Next time, just join the party.
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No thanks. I have partied. I do party. I will party. This one didn't suit my style. Maybe it was the frenzied Gambian ritual drumming and screaming at volume 10...I dunno - I guess it's an acquired taste. I'm more into classic R&R and R&B.
 
I will critique what mistakes you made, but keep in mind that it is a critique of what could have gone wrong, not what did.

1. Not immediately turning around and heading home after realizing that the situation was non-confrontable.

2. Not immediately going home once confronted by members of the party. They have cell phones, and had they been so inclined, could have let potentially armed members at the party know where you were, what you looked like and that you were kind of fronting with a gun.

3. Not stopping to think that you were armed and trespassing on your neighbors property, and by doing so, you could have potentially put her at risk when she couldn't get into her driveway.

4. Not getting any kind of video-taped evidence to show the cops what you had to put up with thanks to them not coming and shutting the party down.

Basically, you had no business being out there. Your presence did precisely nothing to end the party earlier, and all you did was expose yourself to potential danger. Why you persisted on apparently just standing there, I don't know. Calling it bad judgement because you were sleepy is crap, frankly. What if you would have to shoot and something went wrong? Being sleepy isn't a valid defense. Additionally, you had plenty of time to come around when you walked over there and then stood there for an hour or however long it was.

Of course, nothing happened, but those are the lessons that I see in this.
 
From my OP:
I wanted to post this story to point out how wierd a situation can get in a hurry, to think through and hear from you what (if anything) I did right - and what I did wrong.
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Timbokhan wrote:
I will critique what mistakes you made, but keep in mind that it is a critique of what could have gone wrong, not what did.
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Ahhh...Now we're getting somewhere. My primary motivation for being a regular at THR is to learn.

1. Not immediately turning around and heading home after realizing that the situation was non-confrontable.
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Check. I stayed because I had called 911 and they asked if I would meet the officer (who never arrived) at the scene. I should have told them I would wait on my front porch or in the house.

2. Not immediately going home once confronted by members of the party. They have cell phones, and had they been so inclined, could have let potentially armed members at the party know where you were, what you looked like and that you were kind of fronting with a gun.
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Check (although my gun made no appearance).

3. Not stopping to think that you were armed and trespassing on your neighbors property, and by doing so, you could have potentially put her at risk when she couldn't get into her driveway.
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Check. It never occurred to me she would be driving up her driveway at 4:00am. I still don't get what she was doing there - but that's part of the lesson. Anything can happen at any time.

4. Not getting any kind of video-taped evidence to show the cops what you had to put up with thanks to them not coming and shutting the party down.
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Check. This suggestion is somewhat contradictory however. Videotaping might be considered far more confrontational then anything I did do. And I couldn't have been videotaping if I didn't remain on the scene (which you correctly suggest I should not have done.

Basically, you had no business being out there. Your presence did precisely nothing to end the party earlier, and all you did was expose yourself to potential danger. Why you persisted on apparently just standing there, I don't know.
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Check. I remained on the scene for the reason stated above - but I shouldn't have.
 
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As you said, it being 3AM means that it's hard for most (any?) of us to feel superior. I know that after midnight my judgement tends to get much worse, and if you'd been irritated for the previous few hours that can't have made things any better.

Now you know better, and the rest of us do as well because you shared your experience.

It sounds like the church was a victim in this, too. They should have vetted the people better, but it's also possible that things spiraled out of control from what the family naming their daughter had planned. The pastor sounds like he wants to make things right, and so that's good. You may even find your neighborhood seeing more "church community picnics" in the next few months as a way for them to try and make things right. If you're able to forgive them their lapse in judgement, you'll probably make a valuable friend and ally in the pastor and the congregation.
 
If you're able to forgive them their lapse in judgement, you'll probably make a valuable friend and ally in the pastor and the congregation.
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I assured the pastor that I did not hold this against her - just as I hope my lapses in judgement are not held against me. The pastor and the congregation were already valued friends and allies - and this experience has only strengthened that bond.
 
I'd have called them @ 1:00 AM & @ 2 & again at 3:00.
They rented the building. If I had their phone #, it would be their problem, too.
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This is the best advice in the entire thread. Get the home phone numbers of all of the responsible people at the church. The FIRST thing you do when their party wakes you up (yes, it is THEIR party), is to wake them up.

This WORKS. There are apartments on three sides of the house I own. When I first bought the house, some of the renters were terrible. Parties, yelling, loud cars, etc. If you call the property manager's office at midnight, there's no one there. But I learned, call the owners, and the problem gets solved quickly. "Hello? Yes, I know it's 3 a.m., but I wanted to let you know that one of your renters just woke me up when he came home drunk and was yelling at his girlfriend in the parking lot".

I have a nice peaceful neighborhood, now that all of the landlords around me know I have them on speed dial.
 
I've been surprised by the number of people who won't call the police on ridiculously loud music or parties. It's not my preference - the police usually have far more important things to deal with, "it's just noise", one doesn't want to have bad relations with the neighbors, etc. But sometimes it just has to be done, and I'm surprised more people don't call and complain. I think people just end up tolerating (however thinly) stuff like that, hoping it will go away, and not wanting to get involved.
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The vast majority of the time people who behave like this are engaged in other illegal behaviors as well. it is rare that something that goes south like this is just people having a good time. Very rare.
 
the real problem is with the people at the church during the party. speak to the church about future instances.

to those who blame the police, i recommend thinking long and hard. we cant respond to every call for noise or a party. especially on a saturday night. one major incident can jam up an entire sector and its patrol cars.
 
Your best friend is a list of phone numbers. Call everyone you can find that is "in charge" at the church...about every half hour. If you are not sleeping...they shouldn't either.

For twenty years there was a duplex across the street from my home. If they woke me up ...the land lord got notified. He DID NOT like those late night, multiple calls. I got cussed several times...but he did know how his renters were treating the neighbors. I got threats also...but he never much wanted to try to carry out the "beat your a$$" threat for some reason.

So...get those numbers and give them to the neighbors, too. ( even the lady that stays out late) The more the merrier!

stay safe.

Mark.
 
I've been surprised by the number of people who won't call the police on ridiculously loud music or parties. It's not my preference - the police usually have far more important things to deal with, "it's just noise", one doesn't want to have bad relations with the neighbors, etc. But sometimes it just has to be done, and I'm surprised more people don't call and complain. I think people just end up tolerating (however thinly) stuff like that, hoping it will go away, and not wanting to get involved.
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That kind of "noise" is never just about the noise. The party goers knew they were being nuisances and didn't need the OP to tell them so. This was a form of intimidation and bullying. Staying home and ignoring it is not, I don't think, the right option. Neither is, necessarily, moving. Ultimately, you have to protect your family and you can't fight the world alone but I think surrendering to the BGs is not something that should be done lightly.
 
I think surrendering to the BGs is not something that should be done lightly.
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I gotta agree with you on that one. In this case I have come to the conclusion that returning to my home while continuing to call the police and the pastor and monitoring the situation would have been about the right response. The Pastor has assured me that it will not happen again and was very chagrined that it happened at all. These folks trashed the church and the parking lot - so nobody was happy about that either.
 
Had this been a recurring problem, I would have marched right over there with you, if I lived in your neighborhood, but I usually give D.A.'s (dumb asses) the benefit of the doubt for the first few times; unless their on my property, then the gloves are naturally off. ....I just thought of that movie "The Burbs" heh :D Not to diminish your situation...just sharing
 
Bob,

Order some pepper spray and this stuff http://www.selfdefenseproducts.com/DSG-Laboratories-Special-Ingredients-p-1-c-702.html You can get them both from the same sight. They also have massive smoke bombs as well.

Next time anything like that happens, start covertly deploying the "counter measures". Between the smoke, the burning eyes and rancid smell, they will pack up early.

This might work as well http://www.selfdefenseproducts.com/Sonic-Nausea-p-17448.html

Anyway, nice to have options for the jerks of the world.
 
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