Guns, my life, personality, safety and the future. I'm lost and confused.

Always good to question oneself and to learn as much as one is able to absorb.

I say, take the class whether you choose to carry or not, your knowledge base will be that much larger w/ another life experience under your belt. Learn to spot and avoid trouble when and if possible while out and about, protecting hearth and home as you see fit.

Have faith in something greater than yourself, be it Family, Deity, Constitutional Republic or what-have-you... knowing that human nature hasn't really changed all that much over time. The good, the bad and the ugly exist within us all. Know when to call upon each and be able to recognize the difference in others around you.

The old axiom, "I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it" holds true for firearms as well as morality, knowledge and situational awareness.

But I could be wrong. What is right for me might not be your cup o' tea.

My humble opinion is that you are WAY over-thinking this. Having and wearing a gun simply isn't that big of a deal. Not wearing a gun isn't that big of a deal, either.

If you are ready to CCW, you'll know without having to go into mental agony to figure it out.

Freeze, you've expressed a lot of fear and uncertainty, most especially about the increasing danger of the world around you. Since you aren't yet comfortable with the idea of carrying a weapon, I can't recommend that you do so at this time.

This will help you, though:

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/

There's an awful lot of material there, but I think this is just the stuff you need now; it's primarily about awareness and attitude and using your instincts to keep you out of danger, understanding the criminal mindset, etc., and it will help you to not be afraid when fear isn't called for (I think you need that). Self-defense is a set of mental tools first, long before it enters the realm of weapons.

Learn what to fear and what not to fear, and you can prepare accordingly.

God helps those that help themselves.

I'm sick of feeling weak

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A gun won't change that.

Thats a between the ears problem that should be solved before carrying a gun. Depending on a gun instead of your #1 defense mechanism (your brain) often leads people to react out of fear which many times will lead to bad shoots.

I think you should take the class-whether you decide to carry or not. It might address some of the things that are concerning you. If after taking it you don't want to carry you don't have to. I agree with some others here that a martial arts or self defense class might be good to let you find out that you don't have to be a helpless victim or an overly aggressive confrontational wanna-be hero. I think it's probably better to be somewhere in the middle standing your ground without being openly aggressive unless absolutely necessary. If it messes with your head this bad thinking about it I don't think you should carry at this time.
But the truth is that this is your decision so "To Thine Own Self Be True"

WOW!
well, lets see, first, since you live in montana, and what seems like a small town, and you are living in a low income neighborhood, my persoanl opinion is you need to move. low income apartments just seem to draw trouble like stink on a skunk. not necessarily to far away, but out of town a bit. if you can swing it, try to get a place with a minimum of 10 acres. they, you will have real peace and quiet. no one walking by to walk onto your property "by accident" and take things, no one to be fighting @ 2:00am, and no cops sirens wailing by in the middle of the night. the more acreage you can get, the bigger your bubble. 20 miles out of town should do it, unless your sleepy little town is growning like a well fertilized weed. as for home defense, i also believe in god and jesus. i also recognise that not all humans do. some, definitly belong to satan. in my opinion, when someone enters your home uninvited, they leave their rights at the doorstep. if they break into your home, they are there to do you harm. DEFEND yourself, and your loved ones with every means that are available to you. make certain it stays INSIDE the house! if the "perp" leaves the house, let him go. otherwise, you may end up with serious legal problems. also, check into the laws in your state about using deadly force (this SHOULD BE COVERED THOUROGHLY IN YOUR CCW CLASS!). chances are in montana, you would be alright in your home, but you want to be sure. in michigan, if the "perp" is within 20 feet of you, you are in a lot better legal shape than if he is further away. as far as ccw goes, many things are going to influence this. use your "moral compass" to help guide you. it sounds like you have a good one, do not ignore it. as for day to day carrying, i do every minute of every day, and i sleep with my 45 under my pillow. way better to be safe than sorry. you can never bring back your loved ones. as for your father, he loves you, and worries about you. he is concerned that you may do something, well, stupid. it is up to you to prove to him that you are a responsible adult. judging from your lifestyle, you probably do not need to carry a 44 magnum or 45 acp daily. but you do want something that will stop someone IF YOU EVER NEED TO. a small revolver or semi-auto should do the job nicely, and if you get the right one, and the right holster, nobody will even know you have one. and that, is a big part of ccw. no one should be able to tell you have the gun. suprise, is the biggest edge in a "situation", should you ever find yourself in one.

Thanks all. Part of me just wants to sell my XDm and move on to another hobby I wish to pursue again, but im not sure at this point

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I do not mean to be harsh, but this is the correct call. You are clearly obsessing over this. Self doubt & fear are not compensated for or relieved by a firearm. For an obsessive personality, these traits can be magnified in the presence of a firearm. Guns are simply a tool for protecting self and others. The question that you are wrestling with really has nothing to do with guns; Do you believe you have the courage & obligation to protect yourself & others? You need to come to resolution on this before you burden your mind with carrying a loaded gun. Indecision is much less complicated if the bad guy does not have access to a presented weapon. Good luck, young man----

I too think that it may be necessary to sell the weapon and move on.

But first you need to really consider getting OUT of the low income area with the noise and such by moving.

That way when you find yourself in more peaceful area with lots of acreage and a hell of a long walk or short car ride for any criminally minded folks... you probably will not want a weapon then. If ever.

There is one thing we used to do while trucking. Whenever we got "Lost" which we did from time to time in teh good old days, we keep going in a straight line or follow one road until the next town. Might lose a few hours but that town will tell you where you are on the map.

Nowadays you had a laptop with GPS good to 40 feet 24/7

Fear is normal part of human feelings, mastering it for the short time you need to function until you are safe again is the really hard part. Once you understand that, you can deal with anything.

as a soldier, it breaks my heart to see people fore fit thier RKBA. something that i am willing to die for, at the same time i have to listen to some extremist chant and protest outside the main gate about "thank god for ied's" etc. it is 2 extremes that are the worst of the worst for me.

I think he shouldn't be owning/carrying a gun, ether. Time to get rid of it...he's just not the type.

But then, MOST people aren't.

-- John D.

I'll do my best to a) not be negative and b) not get preachy. But I'm not sure if it'll come out that way.

Freezebyte said:

I prefer to design it MY way, even if if its not Gods way.

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As a Christian myself, I don't believe that is at all compatible with Christianity. Nobody is forcing you to follow Christ - it is a choice. But choosing to ignore God in part of your life so you can do it your was is not following Him. You're free to go either way, but if you go the way your quote states, then His blessing is not upon you. ... Hope that wasn't too preachy.


The second point is related to religion as well:
Would you kill another human being? That is something that takes a lot of thought, and prayer (if you follow Him). The answer is not the same for all. It is my belief that some are called to trust wholly on His providence, and He will work it out how He desires. It is also my belief that most are called to take care of themselves. Not only that but we are called to protect our families, GF, etc. We were given the brains to do it and it's our place to follow through and arm ourselves, some by different means.

Another point has been well addressed by feedthehogs. A gun isn't going to defend you or make you the least bit safe. On its own. You have to decide to do it. A gun is only a tool, you need to get the mindset to use it. You absolutely must be willing to use it. You need to have a defensive mindset with or without a gun - you need confidence. Learning a martial art often has this effect.
I don't know much about OCD, but honestly, I don't think you're ready to carry. Yet you still have a duty to protect your GF (family when/if you have one), so you cannot just sell your gun and walk away. I would encourage you to still take the class, and to start some martial art and/or take a non-firearm self defense course.

One more point for possum. He isn't forfeiting his right. He is saying he isn't ready to exercise it at this time. At some point in the future he should be comfortable exercising the right, and in the mean time he should give his political support for that right. Much the same way I support MG'ers and .50 cal'ers, but I do not exercise the right to own one.

possum said:

as a soldier, it breaks my heart to see people fore fit thier RKBA. something that i am willing to die for, at the same time i have to listen to some extremist chant and protest outside the main gate about "thank god for ied's" etc. it is 2 extremes that are the worst of the worst for me.

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Possum, that's an incredibly powerful post, and a very poignant point. At the same time, the OP is conflicted due to his FREEDOM to choose either way, and that's a great thing. True, the smart thing might be to carry "just in case", because nobody should fail to understand that they have the freedom to live, but still, it is up to the individual.

I'm going to give the OP the respect of reading his post once or twice more before commenting on it, but please know that your efforts do NOT go unnoticed. I'd take your place in a second if necessary, if for no other reason, so that you could experience the freedom that I have experienced thanks to your service and devotion.

Thank you.

This is going to sound confusing, but I'm going to reccommend both.

Take the CCW class. Learning new information is never a bad thing. This will fill you in on the specifics of CCW and will help you to make a more informed decision regarding it. It will also clarify what carrying a weapon is and is not. You can't say that CCW is, or is not, for you unless you have a real grasp on what it is you are making the decision about. Learn.

I believe you will find that carrying a weapon has more to do with the WILL to use it than the EQUIPMENT you will be using. No offense, but from your OP, you seem to read too much into the situation.

A person is trying to kill you. You shoot them first.

If you are the type that worries about morality, has a tendency to overanalyze things, has to weigh options, needs to rationalize courses of action, discover reasonable alternatives, and might wonder if you are the type of person who could actually do something resulting in another human beings death.......

...this is not CCW. A person who straps a deadly weapon to their hip has already answered these questions. I suggest you take the course to become better informed....

...and answer all your questions regarding your ability to defend yourself BEFORE you pack a gun.

Freeze:
I will agree with some of the others and suggest getting the permit even if you do not plan on carrying every day; you will get training on the laws and firearm safety. In addition to the CCW course, I suggest that you try to find a firearms instructor in the area that will train you on how to use the weapon effectively and safely. Much like the CCW course, it will not be free. Your CCW instructor may very well be the right person for that job.

This idea might not work for you, but I believe that learning, doing well with a firearm at the range and passing a tough instructor's course may assist with increasing your confidence. For now, I have chosen to leave my weapon at home until I get plenty of practice.

As others have suggested, if you are extremely apprehensive then it is best to not carry a weapon. However, I firmly believe you can bolster your confidence with training from a real, experienced and squared away firearms instructor. I suggest contacting your local shooting range. Some firearms retailers will likely be able to recommend an instructor. Also, some local police departments, like mine, offer firearms and safety training in their citizens police program.

You might also want to try starting out at the range with an inexpensive, single-round shotgun before shooting a handgun.

Good luck with making your decision and I wish you the best.

PS I'm a nerd too.

Possum Thank you for your Service. We feel that nothing is forfeited at all. Our own arms in our State and liberty to defend/protect and also to go to the range to shoot/practice is a valuable one to us.

It is even more valuable to us when Marines and Soldiers such as yourself go to fight our Enemies wherever they may be so that they dont come here and hurt us in our neighborhood.

I thank every Uniformed Serviceman or Marine always in person for thier Service because sometimes they may be home and getting ready to head out again in days or weeks.

Im sorry that the Locals have not given you peace in your Post with the chants and noise, but I'm glad that you are safe and your Platoon and all the others are safe as well as can be considering the situation.

For the others, I recommend Romans 13, 14 and 15.

I dont want to derail this thread, I leave it here.

Lots of good wisdom here, and I'm not going to rehash it. You are doing well to think long and hard about this; I wish more people would. I won't recommend that you do or do not carry; you need to reach that decision yourself. But here are two things to consider:

The God you believe in calls you to preserve life, and I believe that includes your own. You need to prepare for that, whether that means learning a means of self defense, or moving to a safer environment, or something else again. But you need to be proactive rather than passive. God calls people to a life of obedience, not coasting. So I think you need to reconsider the philosophy summarized in this sentence: "I've always just waited things out and hoped for the best rather then taking stiff action to solve a solution." Whether you call it "growing in grace," "sanctification," or "discipleship," most Christians I know agree that we are to learn to take responsibility for our actions before God ... and then learn to help others to do that. Think on that.

Second, whether you decide to carry or not, I'd recommend you take the CCW class. In fact, I'd go beyond that. If you can afford it, look up and take the first class from Mas Ayoob at Lethal Force Institute: LFI-I. There are better "shooting" classes than LFI-I, but I don't know of a better course that deals with all the legal, emotional, and psychological aspects of using a firearm for self defense. The course, "Judicious Use of Lethal Force" is the lecture portion of LFI-I, without the shooting exercises. LFI-I would be a great way to emerse yourself in what it means to carry without making the commitment to do so. Not cheap, but could be well worth it ... especially in your case.

Freeze :

seems like we have some similarities, avg joe and such, brought up in church. Got my 10/22 rifle to plink with when i turned 21 and the world keeps on turning.

Until my bubble burst. I always thought i, or ppl close to me would never become a part of the statistics. But all that changed when my wife was held at gunpoint in front of her parents' apt (not a bad site of town, but progressively deteriorating) while i was at work. Good thing nothing happened (more than 1 assailant) and she even found her purse back (thrown in a ditch, a good samaritan called her work number in her phonebook).

I have then decided I need to be able to protect my family when the call arises and make sure she's fully capable of defending herself as well. Now, i have other things keeping me from CCW (situational, not personal) but once I got those taken care off, I'm gonna get it for sure. I pray that i won't have to use it but my eyes were "opened". I will not stand or kneel helpless. I can not imagine if i can not defend myself and have bad people do things to my family.

hso hits it I think.

Take the course, see what others think about it, listen to their reasons for wanting to carry.

You're not obligated to carry or even send in the paperwork after the class.

Maybe you learn something in the class that tips your decision one way or the other.

There's no rush, that's the thing to remember.

Don't sell the guns yet, don't make any decisions really.

Move slow and see how it goes. If you don't feel it's what you want to do, then you at least gave it an honest evaluation.

Ok, I think that you need to consider re-locating to get out of the low-life infected area if possible as your next item to think about.

I was raised in a big city and eyeballed everyone, lost weight due to stress and noise.

Live in the hills now and it's QUIET. Gained like 50 pounds overnight. Durn peaceful.

That was years ago. But now, loud music and graffittie etc is moving in again.

Im happy that you resolved it yourself one way or another.

No harm.

Best of luck!