Sadly, there's just no way
We can build brand new Carriers from scratch, which makes me totally confident we could just as easily recondition and modernize any of the Iowa Class back to battle worthy status. Big sticks indeed!
These ships can never be sent to sea again. No way. Never.
The battleships lasted as long as they did because in the WWII era they were built to survive. This meant incredible redundancy in equipment (multiple boilers, multiple fuel pumps for the boilers, multiple engines, reduction gears for the screw shafts and the huge screws (that's propellers for you shore dwellers), multiple electrical generators, ballast tanks to compensate for flooding caused by torpedo hits, and armor, armor, armor (the armor on the USS Massachusetts on the 010 level (about 100 feet above the water level in the fire control tower) is 11 inches thick. At the water line it was maybe 3 feet thick.
Comparing a 16" shell and a cruise missile is apples and oranges. They have different purposes. The cruise missile of today is our equivalent of the kamikaze of WWII, and no more deadly. They are both precision-guided, point-target systems. The defensive characteristics of a ship that defends it against one will defend it against the other (armor, antiaircraft systems). Destroyers were and are always especially vulnerable, because they have no armor. That's why they're called tin cans.
By the 1960's and 1970's there just weren't any more repair parts for any of that stuff. Instead of having equipment taken off line by combat casualties, it just wore out. Because there were back ups, things wore out slower. Anything broken in the old equipment that was mission critical had to be custom machined. For instance, replacement rubber gaskets used in the armored watertight hatches between decks just didn't exist. No gaskets, no water tight integrity.
The most redundant thing of all was the crew, with 1,200 people needed to run and maintain all of that stuff in one ship. The Navy can't afford crews that large any more, and all of the crewmen who knew how to use and fix that WWII stuff are in mothballs themselves, now. Just imagine keeping all of the miles of 70-year-old wiring intact. I was on a WWII-era carrier in the late 1970s. There was an electrical fire someplace in that ship
every day that we were under way.
Oh, and forget the 2,000 pound shell thing. More like 1,200 pounds, at a muzzle velocity of 2,650 fps. Caliber is correctly stated as 16"/50, which means a bore diameter or 16 inches, and a bore length of 50 times that, or 800 inches (66.67 feet).
No, the ships didn't heel 30 degrees when a broadside was fired. They weren't shoved sideways, either. That's what the hydraulic counter recoil systems were for. Things would vibrate a bit, however.
By the 1990's, these ships had two purposes, political and tactical. Anyplace they steamed into, they
impressed. They were also fantastic naval gunfire support for the Marines. But the trend became one toward precision -- not area fire -- weapons systems. (The effective radius of a 16"/50 VT frag projectile was 250 meters). Weapons systems like the AC-130 Hercules aircraft began performing direct fire missions with 105mm artillery from up in the sky, making friendlies feel a bit more secure, with line-of-sight UHF communication instead of problematical HF (short wave) communication. When all you are trying to do is nail one sniper who is slowing your advance, it's easier to just bring a building down around his ears than it is to level a city block. And much more politically correct in the age of asymmetrical warfare, CNN and Al Jiz.
There was honor in standing tall in a ship that could see its enemy and be seen in turn, and having the coolness and fortitude to take it and dish it out with an enemy that had some concept of honor as well. Sadly, that's all as dead to us now as knights on horseback. We are poorer for it.
"Artillery lends dignity to what otherwise would be an unseemly brawl."
USN-USMC 1974-1994
USS Iwo Jima (LPH-2)
USS Franklin D. Roosevelt (CV-42)
USS Charles F. Adams (DDG-2)
USS Edward McDonnell (FF-1043)
USS Fairfax County (LST-1193)
USS Guam (LPH-7)
Second Air/Naval Gunfire Liaison Company, Fleet Maine Force, Atlantic
Naval Special Warfare Group Two