I agree that is really depends on the gun. I like the 165 or 155 gr ballistics. I think its a good compromise (all calibers are a compromise in some way) between velocity, mass, and diameter.
I had a glock 22, but i ddint really like it. too much muzzle flip. I love my sig 229 in .40. seems made for the caliber (which i think it was, G22 was really made for 9mm, ie g17)
The only other .40 I have fired was a smith SW99, it was nice in .40 as well, but not quite as nice as the sig.
BTW, to me, the 180 gr loads are the wrong compromise. If you go that route, the only advantage over .45 is mag capacity and you give up mass and diameter.