I have medium-large hand with relatively short fingers. I know that because I wear a golf glove in size "Medium Large Cadet," and as those are common gloves, I suspect this issue is common. I have a Glock G19 Gen4 that I can shoot well when I have a chance to place my hand, but I won't carry it because with a quick grab I might miss the trigger.
My BHP would be my first choice if I were to buy one now, but I don't have to since I've had the same one since 1981.
A second choice would be the Kahr K9, which I have owned since 1998. I have read few problems from folks who have the steel-framed Kahrs, though the synthetic framed version have occasionally been problematic. It has a pretty stiff slide, though.
While it's not a 9mm, I recently bought a Colt Detective Special in 38 Special. The trigger reach is fine for me, but also consider that as we get older, we all might suffer from some form of arthritis and be unable to work a slide. A good 38 revolver will serve then, even if we have to fire it single action. FWIW.