Two different guns for two different purposes.
Thin and light for carry, with spare mag if necessary.
Double stack hi capacity for HD - with a longgun/shotgun for backup.
Recommendations for the single stack - hmmmm... I recently became a fan of the Sig Sauer and now ordered a P6 for $400 from Wideners - a singel stack Sig with 9 rounds of 9mm. I haven't experienced it, but am a fan of the P220 which is the big brother.
As for home defense, really any hi-cap or caliber gun that you happen to like. Not limited to size or weight.