Almost lost my gun rights

[navyretired 1]

Thank God for my bride of 41 years. And thank God your situation worked out. without friends it could have been much uglier, LEO's hear so many lie's and see so many abused women that they can be very pragmatic.

 

[coloradokevin]

MachIV,

I sent you a PM.

 

[USMC 1975]

That does it. I am going out and buying my wife a bouquet of flowers and taking her out for a nice dinner.

We must be a wacked out couple because we never fight or get upset with each other. It is pretty simple - I wear the pants in the family but she tells me what color to wear.

All kidding aside she is a very mellow and very level headed woman. We have a knack for communicating with each other that never involves screaming or fighting.

Chris

 

[Artiz]

Women, you just can't trust them. On the other hand, my dog is pretty cool and can't destroy my life in a phone call.

 

[ultradoc]

change your locks

 

[mcdonl]

Hey man, a) Sorry to hear about that. It sucks you are going through this. And b) Thanks for sharing this information with us. It must be hard to share this type of thing but we do appreciate having one more story in the back of our heads incase we find ourselves in this type of situation.

 

[nitetrane98]

I can tell you from experience that you don't really know someone until you divorce them.

I agree. Next time I think about getting married I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house and a car.

It would be kinda nice if you could patch the whole thing up for the kiddo's sake but I don't see that happening.

A fellow officer got that treatment once and was relegated to deep nights jailer because he could no longer carry a weapon.

Always remember, "No matter how good she looks, somebody, somewhere is tired of putting up with her."

 

[NG VI]

At least you weren't married to her. I can tell you from experience that you don't really know someone until you divorce them.

She tried to take out a protection order against me, first by telling a bunch of lies to the court, then by getting my kids to write statements about how they were afraid of me and I was abusive. Luckily she was turned down both times, it would have meant turning in all of my guns for the duration of the order and would have affected my employment as a LEO.

I'm in the thick of a similiar situation to this one and the OP right now, except so far I have been extremely unlucky. My wife claimed I punched her in the mouth during an argument in October, I hadn't touched her, she didn't have a mark on her, but I had to get arrested for it anyway. I have a daughter who just had her first birthday, who I haven't seen since I was arrested, prior to that I was a full-time dad. In court my wife was caught lying through her teeth over and over about her attempts to contact me and blackmail/bribe me (mostly with our daughter, who was crushed when I was taken away, but also with faked injuries and threats/bribes to try harder to drop the charge and 'talk to the da'), I had the officer who inspected her as a witness stating that there was no evidence anyone was in a fight, she was refusing to take her meds at the time this happened, admitted that she only filed for a protection order because she wanted money out of me, stated that she has "already moved on" (wonder what that's code for /sarcasm off), she basically got caught committing perjury at least a dozen times and expressed highly unethical reasons for wanting a protection order, as well as fabricating the whole assault story, but the judge still decided in her favor.

My lawyer said it was like nothing he's ever seen, that the judge acted as if he was her attorney. He also denied me even supervised visitation rights, claiming that it would be a hazard to my wife. I can't even believe it worked out like that, I will appeal it but I need more lawyer money first. It's a tough situation, with any luck it will work out sooner rather than later.

 

[NG VI]

Take a good look at your state's domestic violence and PFA order laws. They will scare you. HOw about an instant, albeit temporary, divorce from your wife based on her word alone. BTW, that split is 100/0 in her favor and could be that way for months. No guns, no custody, no visitation. You pay maintenance for her, child support on the kids and also all bills to keep a roof over their heads adn a vehicle even though you're outdoors.

Live in GF, same deal. Even if you own the house you might end up out of it.

All that until a judge has a hearing on whether or not to keep the order permanent for one year. THat hearing could take months.

In that situation now. It is awful.

 

[Balog]

Thanks for sharing. Demonstrates the dangers of associating with unstable people.

 

[Izzy77]

Boys keep the Girls out of your House till you have had some pre-marriage counseling . It is not fool proof but it can help prevent many problems.

As a Rabbi I second that. As far as my knowledge goes, when you shack up you are basically "as married" in any case, and if not, why not?

A good piece of advice my brother gave to me was "keep dating (non sexually) until you have a good reason to stop...

Marriage counseling will show whether your intended has mean/ selfish streaks in her... quarks you really never know about come out rather quickly.

I'm rather glad it ended well.

 

[Balog]

Statistically, those who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce. Playing house is generally not a good idea, as it's entered into far more lightly than marriage yet carries many of the same legal ramifications.

 

[Slamfire]

No one should be angry at "Women". “Women” are not the “problem”.

Instead we should be angry at a Country and Political process that will denies Men their civil rights after a misdemeanor violation.

Parking tickets are misdemeanors.

The threshold is so low that unscrupulous females have and will continue to use the law to hurt men.

The fact that we accepted this, did nothing to stop this, and won’t vote the liberals out who did this to us, only shows what a bunch of chumps we are.

 

[lloveless]

Izzy77,
You think too highly of marriage counseling. Which I went through, and still got divorced. My ex is a self serving bitch, who could lie through her teeth making black white and vice versa. That sure didn't come out in our pre-marriage counseling! We even dated for a year. No we didn't live together.
ll

 

[MachIVshooter]

“Women” are not the “problem”.

Some are. Anyone, male or female, who lies simply to hurt another person, is a problem.

ETA:

Please take it easy on the profanity, guys. I don't think the mods have any problem with us discussing how ex's nearly cost us our guns, but if we call them the names we'd like to (and they may very well deserve), this thread is going to denigrate into something that won't help anyone and it'll get locked. Keep it high road.

 

[alfack]

BTDT. I pretended to want to go to counseling until the whole thing was dismissed in court, then I dumped her like a hot potato. I was getting ready to pop the question even. Glad I didn't. She was a mean drunk, too. The cops said that since they were sent out, they had to arrest somebody and it was me. It's BS, but you have to protect the women that need it.

She was trying to dial 911 and I was hanging up on her, knowing she was just being hysterical. It did ring once there though, and they sent 3 cars. Talk about emabarassing.

Glad it ended ok for you, as it did for me. I still have trust issues, though.

 

[cassandrasdaddy]

if at some point the idea pops in your head that you might be best served by just walking out of the argument its probably not a bad idea, if its not already too late. though i know its easier said than done. i got to take anger management for throwing a tennis ball and not at her

 

[MachIVshooter]

if at some point the idea pops in your head that you might be best served by just walking out of the argument its probably not a bad idea

As I mentioned before, while it is ideal to walk away and let both parties calm down, it's not always the best solution. If your other half is the kind that can part company and cool off, awesome. But when you're in a situation like me, where she'll follow you, and if you leave the house it only gets worse by the time you get home, you end up having to try and talk about it right now, even if you don't want to.

Some people just thrive on conflict and drama, like they get bored without it or something. I don't understand it, as I feel my blood pressure is high enough when everything is going well. But now that I'm back to looking for my other half, I am armed with that much more knowledge of personality traits that are red flags for such behavior.

 

[Alex23]

Statistically, those who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce. Playing house is generally not a good idea, as it's entered into far more lightly than marriage yet carries many of the same legal ramifications.

You got a link to those stats?

 

[Balog]

http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/divorce.html

http://www.smartmarriages.com/cohabit.html

Check out the end notes in the second article linked above. As far as I can tell, every reputable study done on the subject shows a significantly higher divorce rate for those who first cohabitate.

 

[NG VI]

if at some point the idea pops in your head that you might be best served by just walking out of the argument its probably not a bad idea, if its not already too late. though i know its easier said than done. i got to take anger management for throwing a tennis ball and not at her
__________________

Yeah, easier said than done is key here, if you are in a situation like I have been where if I attempted to leave she threatened to call the state police and tell them I was beating her or had child pron or Lord knows what else. Or she would just hide my keys (probably her favorite trick, after threatening my property, freedom, and ability to be a part of my daughter's life) and then where am I going to go? It''s a very difficult situation when women everywhere know that all it takes is a quick phone call and they can ruin your life without any evidence whatsoever.


Guys take it easy and dump her with the weekly trash if she ever starts behaving like this.

 

[T. Bracker]

Stay away from the freaky girls and your life will go better for you.

 

[GojuBrian]

MarkIVshooter,

Thanks for the reminder!! It's good to make sure to keep our cool even when others won't and be the first to report such acts.
It sounds like you and many others here are dating my x-wife. If I had known she moved to Colorado I would have warned you guys.

I did have a similar incident where I had to disarm my knife weilding girlfriend who told the cops I had hit her. After talking to both of us they convinced her to leave and let me go about my business. My guns had crossed my mind a few times in there, but she never brought them up, thank goodness.

My dad actually chased my stepmom out of the house with a ruger .44 after she hit him in the head with the phone receiver(big one) and kicked him in the stuff. Cops show up guns drawn, me and my older brother answer the door in our pj's. They still pointed the guns..........

Another incident not involving my family was our next door neighbor. I witnessed him being beaten in the front yard by his much larger wife. He then escapes into the house and retrieves his 1911. She gets in the mustang and tries to run him down in the street as he empties the magazine into the grill.
Didn't see either of them for a while, then they moved. I doubt they can have guns anymore.

 

[jbrown50]

Quote:
“Women” are not the “problem”.

Some are. Anyone, male or female, who lies simply to hurt another person, is a problem.

That's right.
In my lifetime, I've experienced and in some cases been the victim of vindictive, vengeful, controlling and power hungry individuals both male and female. They will steal, cheat, lie and twist the truth and don't care who they hurt in doing so. Employers, co-workers, police, relatives, politicians, political party affiliators, etc, etc......whether women or men, it doesn't matter.

 

[Double Naught Spy]

Interesting, MachIVShooter. Your girlfriend tries to steal your stuff and then tries to get you on spousal abuse and so you almost end up losing your gun rights and yet you see no need to have false report charges filed on her.

Personally, I am all for engaging in a little better active defense than passively letting things slide. It is your call, but my guess is that this won't be the last trouble you have with her.