VaugnT, I came up with the best comeback to the "Got any free samples?" line......."Yes, copper coated lead delivered at high velocity - how many would you like?"
OK, the five gun guy...during Christmans season, from a week before Thanksgiving, to a week after New Years, we had the unofficial go-ahead to bring in some extra firepower, specifically to display as a deterrent. We have stick on gun racks in the trucks, and ARs, AKs, Mini 14s, Benellis, you name it, we had one. The company was very cool about back up guns, and almost all of us carried one - KelTec P11 on a body armor rig, for me.
Then there was T, who decided one day to test both theories, the holday and back up gun ones. He came to work in uniform, with a Witness on one hip, a Bersa on the other, two Glocks in opposite tactical thigh rigs, and a Smith 38 in a shoulder rig, while carrying an AK preban folder with 75 round drum and 37mm flare launcher, all underneath a black leather Matrix style trenchcoat.....the boss about feced himself. Most of the hardware did stay in the vault that day....
This is the same guy who carried a Remington pattern derringer in his back pocket as a third backup. One day, when his truck pulled in, he got out, stretched, and the thing went off. Guess he must have cocked it putting it into his pocket, and that guardless trigger spur was just waiting for a little pressure.
A huge bang, and we dove for weapons and phones, figuring someone was trying to take the terminal. I heard a wavering voice..."Guys, you're never gonna believe where I think I shot myself"
Knowing him, I hollered back , "T, did you shoot yourself in the butt?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, drop trou and find out!!!"
We had some priceless videotape from the security cameras of him "self inspecting"... The round went straight down, and apparently riccocheted up between his legs, and out the ceiling - we found the hole next rain. All he recieved was a burn mark the size of a silver dollar, and a very good scare.
Oddly enough, he really was knowledable about guns, just young and careless.....
Be afraid, be very afraid - he's a repo man now......