There are TONS of these threads, so I will summarize the best responses:
1. If this is really you wanting to get her a gun so she will carry it, she probably won't carry it. So only worry about this if carrying a gun is something she actually wants to do and if she's willing to put in some work and thought into doing so.
2. "My wife can't rack the slide on a semiauto..." ... because she doesn't know how, not because she doesn't have the strength to do it. Another subset of "women who can't rack a slide..." includes those with zero familiarity with guns who have an ingrained belief that they will somehow break the gun if they use their full strength.
Anyone who truly doesn't have the strength to rack the slide on a semiauto due to severe arthritis, muscle wasting, or neurological impairment will also have the same problem pulling a double-action revolver trigger. The weights are actually fairly comparable, with the added issue of pulling a trigger being done with a single figure, whereas working a semiauto's action can be done as a gross motor function with the whole of both arms and the chest.
Racking a slide without the strength to overcome a 12-24 lb recoil spring by sheer force is a matter of technique. The wrong way to do it for a weaker person is to try and do everything with two fingers or just one hand. Sure, those of us who are stronger can do this.
But the best way to do this (honestly for everyone, IMHO), is to use the push-pull, C-clamp slingshot method. Anyone can be taught to do this. Just take your weak hand and wrap your whole hand around the top of the slide so that your fingers and bottom of your palm are touching the slide serrations (weak hand thumb should be basically pointing back at you or wrapped around the upper back of the slide to allow the hammer to move, if there is one). With your strong hand, grip the gun firmly in a normal grip, indexing your finger above the trigger guard on the side of the frame. Simultaneously pull firmly back with the weak hand while pushing forward into the grip frame with the strong hand.
A more administrative way to do this is to hold the gun in your strong hand grip, bring the gun in front of you, pointing toward your weak side, then bring your weak hand over the gun and grip the slide serrations with your thumb on the side of the gun nearest you and your fingers on the outside side of the slide. Then using your arm and chest muscles in a motion similar to clapping, push the slide toward your strong side and the frame toward your weak side.
Obviously you should keep the muzzle pointed downrange if you are on a range, which you can do by turning to present the weak side of your body downrange.
3. "I was thinking of getting her one of those airweight .38 J-frames, or a Ruger LCP or something like that because it's very small and kind of cute, plus, a .38 or a .380 won't recoil like my 10mm or the .500 S&W magnum that I carry every day..."
Hold up there, high speed. Small J-frames are substantially harder to shoot and have much more recoil than a mid-size steel revolver and most compact 9mm semiautos. The heavy trigger, light weight, short sight radius, and substantial recoil on an aluminum, titanium, or scandium J-frame revolver make them difficult for new shooters to shoot accurately or comfortably. This makes it more likely that they will consider shooting an unpleasant experience, which in turn makes it less likely that they will want to do it again. Even a steel J-frame will still have a goodly amount of recoil.
Those little .380s are handy, but due to the small grip, direct blowback operation of some, and tiny or nonexistent sights, these can be almost as bad as the J-frames while providing the benefits of an even weaker cartridge.
It would be better to start with a 4" steel revolver like a Ruger GP100, Six-series, or a S&W K-frame. On the semiauto side, a S&W M&P, Springfield XD, Glock 17 or 19, or a 1911 would be safer guns to start with, then branch out based on preference.
Now, I am not saying that female or weaker shooters cannot carry J-frames or subcompact .380s, I am just saying that if they are NEW shooters, they should not START there.