Ruger LCR 327 magnum or Charter Arms "Undercoverette" 32 H&R magnum. My daughter could shoot the CA when she was nine years old.
For a lot of people a 38 is too much. IMHO a 22 is inadequate. I don't understand why 32's are not more popular.
My wife is not small (she is actually 6'4"), but her wrists are damaged and recoil is painful for her. That being said, she can shoot 32 H&R magnum no problem. I bought this for her for the rare occasions I am out of town or something.
I bought my wife one of these in .38 and at 12 oz. it is a REAL handful, and my wife is pretty tough, but let me back up.
When my wife and two of her buddies decided they wanted to get a CHL they all congregated at the range here at the house, ready to shoot. Her friends well meaning husbands bought them compact 9mm's and I readied my old Star Firestar 9mm for my wife. They all began shooting and NONE of them could hit even a large target at close range. Out of desperation I retrieved my old Colt Gov't Model 45 and had them try it. Things immediately began to improve. After a few magazines each of ammo, they went back to their cute little 9mm's and were able shoot much better, ultimately qualifying with their little semi's. But my wife chose to qualify with the Colt and would up shooting a 247/250 in the class.
The 9mm's have a relatively high recoil velocity which causes the sudden snap of recoil sensation. The 45 on the other hand has the slow muzzle-lifting pole that, while heavy, isn't perceived as painful as jar the 9mm's.
So...I bought my wife a CA Pink Lady in .38 and like I said, it's definitely a little kicker with standard 150-158 gr. loads. But she and I worked together until we figured out how to handle the recoil with a tight grip that especially focused on the ring finger and pinky of the shooting hand. Now it's a fun little revolver to plink with.
My suggestion would be to either stay with the .38 and switch to full wadcutter loads, or buy her a similar revolver in 32 H&R. I nearly bought a CA in this caliber for my wife, but just didn't want to hassle buying reloading dies, a different caliber of bullet, etc.
Oh, and for what it's worth, her girlsfriends both now carry snub .38 revolvers; one a S&W and the other a CA. This due to the fact that under times of stress and pressure, one who doesn't shoot often doesn't need to have to remember the difference in the slide release, safety and magazine release. In other words, point and shoot.
35W