4570Rick
Member
10-08-‘03
Last night I got hungry so I got something out of the fridge that I didn’t recognize. Take this as a warning. Beware the blue food. After eating, I went to bed and I began to dream. I dreamt I lived in a place called Mexi-Cali-Fornicate, a place governed by a gray rubbery character called Gumby. Most people did not like Gumby as he was greedy and seemed stiff and uneasy around anyone not on his personal staff. Even his personal staff was wary of Gumby for he was ill tempered and prone to fits of rage where in he would throw things, push people around, and scream vulgarities at the top of his lungs.
Gumby was heaping great financial burdens upon the people of Mexi-Cali-Fornicate such that the people began to plot against the gray one with a plan called The Recall. The people started to organize, then put together the paper work, but they did not have the funds to complete the job. Then a cowboy named Issa wearing a white hat and riding a horse rode up and dropped a sack of money at the feet of the masses. “Good people†he said, “This will aid in your endeavors. Use it well.â€
Energized with an infusion of needed cash, the citizens mounted a successful Recall Campaign. Despite the best efforts of the Demon Rats, the political party of the gray one, their loyal minions, the Holly Weirdoes, the entertainment arm of the Demon Rats, and the Talking Heads, the group charged with spinning the news, the Demon Rats were forced to allow the down trodden to vote on whether or not to allow the gray one to continue ransacking the company stores.
Everyone began to scramble. This had never been done in Mexi-Cali-Fornicate before. Who would run to replace the gray one? Who could fill his tofu and berry shake drinking shoes? The people rose in great numbers saying, “I’ll be your huckleberry.†There were business people, private citizens, smut publishers, porn stars, celebrities, and even a few politicians. Over one hundred and thirty candidates lined up to do battle for the gray one’s smelly shoes.
The Demon Rats needed a plan. The brown gray one said “I have a plan†and he went to the people and said “Vote No on The Recall and vote for me.†And the people looked unto each other shrugging their shoulders and saying, “What did he say?†But the brown gray one continued to speak saying, “No, seriously, I have a plan. I call it Tough Love. In it I will make up for the transgressions of the past by heaping more financial burdens you.†And the people again looked unto each other saying, “Is this guy really that stupid?â€
There were others who spoke up as well. The Eco Terrorist candidate said “I will chase business’ out of this state and you must stop calling illegal aliens illegal.†The very independent Arianna Huff and Puff said, “Vote for me and I vill chase business out from zee state vis excessive taxes, unt blame zee prezident of zee US. Oh, and death to all who drive S. U. V.’s.†The smut publisher said, “uuhh uuhh uuuhhh uh uuhh vote for me.†The only voice of reason was a quiet well-spoken state senator named Tom whom everyone agreed was the best man for the job. So the battle was set, the lines were drawn, and the combatants were dug in.
Meanwhile the gray one, angered that The Recall had derailed his chances to be the President, went on a power mad binge signing any legislative bill he thought would anger the right wing extremists. What he did not realize was that the whole body of the people were the real power behind The Recall, except for a few poor misguided followers, and their numbers were dwindling. Instead, the people were horrified as the gray one continued to throw the peoples money at wasteful and dangerous programs.
So on Election Day, the people went to the polls to flex their collective muscle. Fired up by the sudden realization that they could take charge of their destinies, they marched in lock step to the polls and when the smoke had cleared, Ahnauld the terminator had become the Governator. And the people were satisfied with themselves saying Tom was unelectable and we could not chance being stuck with the brown gray one.
Thank God I woke up. What a nightmare. Something like that could scar me for life. I’m glad I’m just Joe lunch bucket living in Cauleefornya….wait a second….it wasn’t a dream….aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
Last night I got hungry so I got something out of the fridge that I didn’t recognize. Take this as a warning. Beware the blue food. After eating, I went to bed and I began to dream. I dreamt I lived in a place called Mexi-Cali-Fornicate, a place governed by a gray rubbery character called Gumby. Most people did not like Gumby as he was greedy and seemed stiff and uneasy around anyone not on his personal staff. Even his personal staff was wary of Gumby for he was ill tempered and prone to fits of rage where in he would throw things, push people around, and scream vulgarities at the top of his lungs.
Gumby was heaping great financial burdens upon the people of Mexi-Cali-Fornicate such that the people began to plot against the gray one with a plan called The Recall. The people started to organize, then put together the paper work, but they did not have the funds to complete the job. Then a cowboy named Issa wearing a white hat and riding a horse rode up and dropped a sack of money at the feet of the masses. “Good people†he said, “This will aid in your endeavors. Use it well.â€
Energized with an infusion of needed cash, the citizens mounted a successful Recall Campaign. Despite the best efforts of the Demon Rats, the political party of the gray one, their loyal minions, the Holly Weirdoes, the entertainment arm of the Demon Rats, and the Talking Heads, the group charged with spinning the news, the Demon Rats were forced to allow the down trodden to vote on whether or not to allow the gray one to continue ransacking the company stores.
Everyone began to scramble. This had never been done in Mexi-Cali-Fornicate before. Who would run to replace the gray one? Who could fill his tofu and berry shake drinking shoes? The people rose in great numbers saying, “I’ll be your huckleberry.†There were business people, private citizens, smut publishers, porn stars, celebrities, and even a few politicians. Over one hundred and thirty candidates lined up to do battle for the gray one’s smelly shoes.
The Demon Rats needed a plan. The brown gray one said “I have a plan†and he went to the people and said “Vote No on The Recall and vote for me.†And the people looked unto each other shrugging their shoulders and saying, “What did he say?†But the brown gray one continued to speak saying, “No, seriously, I have a plan. I call it Tough Love. In it I will make up for the transgressions of the past by heaping more financial burdens you.†And the people again looked unto each other saying, “Is this guy really that stupid?â€
There were others who spoke up as well. The Eco Terrorist candidate said “I will chase business’ out of this state and you must stop calling illegal aliens illegal.†The very independent Arianna Huff and Puff said, “Vote for me and I vill chase business out from zee state vis excessive taxes, unt blame zee prezident of zee US. Oh, and death to all who drive S. U. V.’s.†The smut publisher said, “uuhh uuhh uuuhhh uh uuhh vote for me.†The only voice of reason was a quiet well-spoken state senator named Tom whom everyone agreed was the best man for the job. So the battle was set, the lines were drawn, and the combatants were dug in.
Meanwhile the gray one, angered that The Recall had derailed his chances to be the President, went on a power mad binge signing any legislative bill he thought would anger the right wing extremists. What he did not realize was that the whole body of the people were the real power behind The Recall, except for a few poor misguided followers, and their numbers were dwindling. Instead, the people were horrified as the gray one continued to throw the peoples money at wasteful and dangerous programs.
So on Election Day, the people went to the polls to flex their collective muscle. Fired up by the sudden realization that they could take charge of their destinies, they marched in lock step to the polls and when the smoke had cleared, Ahnauld the terminator had become the Governator. And the people were satisfied with themselves saying Tom was unelectable and we could not chance being stuck with the brown gray one.
Thank God I woke up. What a nightmare. Something like that could scar me for life. I’m glad I’m just Joe lunch bucket living in Cauleefornya….wait a second….it wasn’t a dream….aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
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