"Is that Lautenberg or is this Weekend at Bernie's Part II?"
"I did not have sexual relations with that Senator from New Jersey."
"I wish I could stand up, but the guy with the yenkel made me pitch a tent."
"I wish I didn't have a bright red drinker's face and a gizzard."
"Frank, can I nibble on your ear when you sit down?"
"When is this party going to start, these pants are constricting"
"He's not following my orders directly from Havanna and Shanghai"
"If I, uh, stay,uh, seated... the,uh, uh straw will reach to my, uh, uh bottle of uh, Chivas"
Damn did I park my car in the lot or by the bridge again and where is that damn woman that I had in the car, she must be floating around here some where. I need a drink to clear my head
"OK, I know I'm too drunk to stand; maybe if I just try to look dignified nobody'll notice."
or
(from off screen): "We are honored that you have invited the American Red Cross to visit today, and we request that you please stand to receive your honorary Life Guard certificates ... ummm, not you, Senator Kennedy."
"Please hurry. I've got a booty call over at the Key Bridge Marriott."
"My brothers would approve of the war on terror, but I must maintain my crybaby snivelling to accurately represent my Party."
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