As has been mentioned, a big flat point on the end of the bullet is almost as good as a hollowpoint. It's also a lot easier to make, and less "scary" if you have to deal with a jury. SWC, TC, RNFP, or Wadcutter bullet shapes are all fine, provided they have a wide meplat (flat surface on the front of the bullet). Round nose bullets tend to noodle their way through only temporarily displacing tissue, and deflecting off of bone. Not very effective for stopping a threat.
For my money, if you are sticking to a flat point, non-hollowpoint, you don't have to go with super soft alloy. Wheel weights are probably fine for these bullet types. I'd shoot them at moderate velocities, somewhere between 800-1000 fps. Anything beyond that is recoil that doesn't improve stopping power (until you get to magnum pistol velocities), with an added dose of overpenetration (if that worries you).